What am I so afraid of?

[Slicepiece17]

Hi everyone. Happy holiday season!

 

I just got out of a year-long “thing” with a guy. “Thing” is the only way I can describe what that foolery was. I won’t go into detail here but I can answer any questions.

 

I’m pretty certain that I wasn’t in love with him. The whole time, from the beginning to the end, I knew that whatever we had would eventually end and that we weren’t right for each other. It was impossible for me to see him in my future.

 

So why is the thought of getting over him and finding someone new so terrifying to me? It’s almost like I’d rather stay in whatever we had than get out there. I’ve tried meeting other guys and I just end up running away. I feel like I’m not ready to move on from him even know 100% that I should.

 

I’ve always had a fear of change so I’ve placed this as a possibility. HOWEVER, before I met him, I was in a relationship with another guy for 5 years. We broke up and I kid you not, I was ready to “get out there” and experience other guys immediately. I got involved with the new guy a month or 2 later.

 

I’m very annoyed with myself right now. I don’t know what I’m so afraid of but I want this fear to die. Any advice or experiences?

[melancholy123]

It could be fear of change, some people dont do change well at all. It could be fear of getting it wrong and the next guy isnt suitable. Dont let it get to you, dont let it scare you off. If something isnt working, then it's time to stop it.

[Hollyj]

It sounds like you are emotionally unavailable and do not allow anyone in:

 

you choose someone that you have no future with

now you are ruminating over Mr. No Future, so that you do not have to get close to anyone else.

 

Deal with your issues. I also suggest that you look at Baggagerecalim.com.