Unrequited Love for my best friend

[Catullus8]

Hey everyone,

 

So when I first got to uni last year I quickly befriended this girl, who I had a bit of a crush on. It was standard beginning of uni stuff and we quickly became really good friends and actually got a job together in a café. We never got a chance to date before she got back together with her long-term boyfriend from home (who also goes to the same uni).

 

Since then I suppressed my feelings and my friendship with both of them developed to the point that I could probably consider myself friends with her bf too (he’s nice enough but a bit bland), but then 3 months ago everything started to bubble up. I hated the feelings because they were pointless and I knew I would almost certainly never be with her, so I tried to deal with them myself.

 

When this didn’t work I confronted her about my feelings and she was incredibly understanding and lovely about the whole thing. We had a rocky couple of days at the end of which she admitted that she saw me as her best friend, which I reciprocated regardless of feelings, and we’re now closer than ever and have decided we’re going to live together next year in a flat of 6 (not with the bf but more because he couldn’t than they didn’t want to).

 

Now I want more than anything to move on. I can’t date other people without comparing them to her, because objectively speaking she is exactly the kind of person I want to be with. But there’s no point in holding out for someone in a tried and tested relationship, but I have no idea how to.

[DanZee]

Well, I think you shouldn't move into an apartment with her next year. It's only going to hurt more. Right now, you have the opportunity to meet more girls than ever in your life, and you should just casually date as a way of getting this girl out of your head. Who knows, you might find someone who is even better for you.

[abitbroken]

Oh my - moving in together is a terrible idea. It will be torture for you seeing her boyfriend coming to spend the night. You need to create some space until your feelings go away. Or unless she breaks up with her bf and expresses interest in dating. But for the love of Mike - do not live with her.

[Juha]

Unfortunately you need to not be around her, not see her, not do anything with her.

 

basically you can't be best friends with her, at least for a little while until the feelings go away and you date others, then you can pick up the friendship like before.

If you want to torture yourself and hold yourself back from meeting and dating others keep doing what you are doing..