IÂ’m not coping with this break up and I have no one to talk to.

[Herbie123]

IÂ’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 years. For the first 5 we were completely inseperable. We had our ups and downs like everyone but we were happy. He got a new job which meant he would be working in a different country for a year and only home 2 weekends a month. Now i visit in any spare time i get and can afford. ItÂ’s been tough, but itÂ’s been 6 months and I thought we were ok.

About 4 months ago he had a wobble. He had decided he didnÂ’t know how he felt any more but wanted to talk when he was home so it wasnÂ’t over a phone. So for 2 weeks I was sick with worry and tried my best not to contact him. He returned home and we spoke for hours. Tears on both sides not knowing what to do just that we both loved each other. We ended up saying we would give it another go and now here I am again.

When heÂ’s home everything is great. ItÂ’s tough he has to split his time between friends family and me. But I respect it. We have been out enjoying our time together every weekend, and every time he leaves he tells me how much he loves me and how happy he is now.

The problems are when heÂ’s away. He makes no effort to contact me. I feel like I am chasing him all the time and moaning heÂ’s not making an effort. He came home 2 weeks ago, we had a lovely evening out and a really amazing weekend. He even went down to Thomas cook with me as he wanted to book a holiday! I was hesitant as itÂ’s for in a years time, and I worried he may have another wobble. I left it two days and he decided he wanted this holiday 100% he was sure and he booked it for us.

Now he’s gone all funny again, not making any effort to contact me not being bothered about anything I’m doing. He said he doesn’t feel the same anymore but how is that possible when last week things were better than ever?! I’m not speaking to him untill he is home on Friday, he ‘doesn’t want to talk about it over the phone but he doesn’t know anymore’ but I can’t sleep, eat, or function. I can’t go to work I love him so much and sound so pathetic but I don’t want to loose him. We’ve come this far and I don’t want to throw it all away. I’m driving myself insane all I want to do is text him. I don’t know what to do for the best. What Can I do? Im at my wits end and have no friends or anyone to talk to.

Someone please help

[EternalOptimis]

long distance relationships are tough. Especially if they don't start off that way

How old are you both? You say you've been together for six years but how old were you then?

Some people aren't very good with phone / text contact. And it sounds like you may be smothering him a little. Tell him you miss him and are thinking about him and leave it for him to text you back, hard as that may be..

[Herbie123]

I’m 24 and he is 23. So we got together quite young, I had a serious relationship before but I’m his first serious one. I agree I feel like I am putting to much pressure on him and can see it now. I haven’t contacted him and we have not spoken in 3 days. I still have another 3 before he is home and we can ‘talk’ but I know it will be the end and that’s pretty hard to swallow. I’m not sure whether I would prefer a decision now rather than having to wait for what I know is coming. It’s like being stuck in limbo. I’m trying my best but falling apart. Thank you for your response.

[ThatwasThen]

I’m 24 and he is 23. So we got together quite young, I had a serious relationship before but I’m his first serious one. I agree I feel like I am putting to much pressure on him and can see it now. I haven’t contacted him and we have not spoken in 3 days. I still have another 3 before he is home and we can ‘talk’ but I know it will be the end and that’s pretty hard to swallow. I’m not sure whether I would prefer a decision now rather than having to wait for what I know is coming. It’s like being stuck in limbo. I’m trying my best but falling apart. Thank you for your response.

 

He's driving you insane. Why not you be the one to end this and take the decision away from him? He is the out-of-sight, out-of-mind type by all accounts and if he's got no plans to come home (and stay home) soon then you're wasting your young years on him IMO.

 

Maybe it would be in both your interests to break up and date others and then if you've not met someone and are still single when his out of country work is completed you can revisit a relationship with one another then. Its not fair of him to be missing in action the way he is being.

[Herbie123]

I’ve run that around in my head so many times, and it just seems so immature to do it over the phone. But I have no other option. I do feel like he has all this power over me and I’m being a complete mug just waiting for it. But If I do, it’s giving them the easy way out. He’s the one who wants to leave, so have enough respect and be man enough to say it! I think I’m owed that after 6 years.

He’s due home next July and we are off traveling around Thailand in August! I can’t understand how that’s just thrown out of the window when it was booked 8 days ago! I’m now hundreds of pounds down miserable and just home from the doctors having a nervous breakdown. Obviously I will show him none of this. No one likes a wreck! But I just can’t believe he can be so cruel. Hasn’t even sent a message. Thanks so much for your reply it really does help to talk

[Herbie123]

He’s text me -

I hope your okay, and I am sorry for this! I really am.

It’s so hard to not reply but is there any point in me responding?

He’s clearly made up his mind that we are over. I feel I’ve lost hope of saving us.

[EternalOptimis]

Though you may not see it now, this is for the best. It's an end, and far better than death by thousand cuts.

By all means text him back to say goodbye in your own way, then go NC and begin healing.

Stay strong. You can do this. Keep coming back here to vent / talk. It will take a little time..

[Herbie123]

I’ve told him I’m moving on. Now that’s what I’m going to do. Putting on a brave face now