Abruptly broken up with and Ex is playing games!

[strawbrryskunk]

** keep in mind that I did EVERYTHING for this guy. Was loving, faithful, everything. He lived with me rent free, I did my best to ensure his happiness. Literally devoted myself to the guy.

 

so, i dated this guy for a while. about a year and half. everything was going well for such a long time, so well that he even moved in with me. We were super happy, we got along really well, my family liked him. All seemed well. We fought occasionally, but it wasn’t anything serious. A lot of the times when we fought it was because I would get angry about something really trivial and blow it out of proportion and he would shut down, ignore me, and leave. But that happened two or three times.

 

Around June or July, he moved back in with his mom because we got into a fight (I don’t even remember what the fight was about). We were both super angry with each other, and we were both set on not talking. Well, the day after I got fired from my job and I was super hurt about it, so I called him and he care over. We got back together and everything was fine up until the end of October, or so I thought.

 

His birthday was October 24th, he had just turned 21. I did the most for his birthday, I wanted to make sure he had a great one. I even bought him a ing snapchat filter, just super corny like that. All day he seemed.. off. Like not happy, not as happy as someone who is turning 21 should be. I wrote it off, I didn’t want to fight with him on his birthday.

 

We broke up initially on the 27th. It was ugly. I was angry/sad because he wasn’t showing any emotion with me, we had been fighting all day on the 26th and we both agreed that we would just drop it and pretend like nothing happened. It wasn’t going down like that on his end, so I got upset. We ended up getting into a blow out because he was angry about how I could say that he didn’t love me. One thing led to another and we just broke up. Over text. I didn’t take it seriously because... it was over text and over such a dumb issue. I ended up bringing him his stuff to his work, because he was moving out of my house. So I packed up his stuff and brought it to him. When I got there, he took it and was about to leave. I kinda went into a panic and begged him to talk to me, I didn’t want to leave it on that note. He progressively got angrier and angrier that I wouldn’t let him leave. He was punching his steering wheel, rolling up the windows on my arms, crying, just super angry with me. Eventually he got out of his car and grabbed me by my wrists and pulled me to my car. He gave me a hug and basically said “there, happy now?” And got into his car and sped away. I got up and ran over to his car, he kept going. I sat there sobbing in the parking lot, he flipped me off as he drove away. I was devastated. I tried to call him and call him, he only answered once. Just to tell me I had 5 minutes to say what I needed to say. He ended up hanging up on me. I was so hurt that I had my dad pick me up, I couldn’t drive. I tried to call him later that night, he sent me a text along the lines of “I cant talk, I don’t have any battery”. I left it at that, I realized he didn’t want to talk because of the fight we just got in. I let him be.

 

The next day he texted me around 8, I was at work. Said he was sorry for how he acted, and that he loved me and missed me. He met me after my shift around 12, and apologized. Said he wanted to work things out and I said okay. I made him sleep on the couch.

 

Sunday was a weird day. He just went to work, I did too. Not much happened.

 

Monday was what killed us. I had been thinking about something he told me when he apologized to me.. “no matter who I talked to.. it just wasn’t you”. So I snooped. I looked through his stuff and I saw that on the 27th, hours after we had “broken up” he was already talking to other girls. I was heartbroken. It was all sexual stuff too. When I confronted him about it, he said that he was just drunk and angry. Trying to get his mind off of it. I didn’t like that excuse. So he said he wanted to move out.. again. I freaked out.. again. And my dad threw him out of the house because of how upset he was making me. My heart was shattered.

 

He texted me that night, talking about how “this is the nail in the coffin, isn’t it? You were truly the best I ever had, I love you and I always will”. Stuff like that. I was confused. If he loved me why couldn’t he stay and try. I didn’t even get a good reason as to why he broke up with me. Not at this point.

 

Time passed, and then it was Halloween. It was a sad night, I was missing him. Hurt that he was away from me. So I messaged him. I told him I had his stuff and that I wanted to give it to him. He said okay, but that him meeting up with me didn’t meant anything. I said okay. When we met up, we sad in the back of my car for HOURS, talking about everything. He cried on me for hours, I held him for hours. He told me that he still loved me, but that he just couldn’t be with me right now. That he needed time and distance from me. I said okay, because I knew that I was probably stressing him out. I just wanted him to get better and come back to me. We kissed a lot, we even had sex. It felt like we were still together. Before I left, he wanted to hold me for a while so I let him. It felt good. I felt happy. We weren’t together, but at least he still loved me. When I was leaving he blew me a kiss and even texted me for a bit that night. Well, that was short lived. He texted me a few times, called me his angel and like that. I fell for it. Eventually he stopped replying, so I went to bed. He left me on read, so I texted him again. Telling him that I hope he was having a great day. He eventually texted me back and said he wasn’t. I offered to help, but he wasn’t having it. So I politely and bluntly said “okay I get it. I will give you your space.” He said that he would talk to me later. I left it alone, I wasn’t concered. He just wanted to be alone and I was going to respect that.

 

** I should also mention that before we met up that I hacked his Instagram and posted about everything he did to hurt me. It was childish move, but I felt like he deserved it after the whole meet me situation.

 

The next night I got word from one of his friends that he was acting like a douche bag, and that I should just get over him. I just super confused because the night before he was telling me how much he loved me and how all he needed was distance. So I called him, he answered and sounded COMPLETELY fine, and I said whats going on? He went on to tell me that he wanted me to move on. Told me that I could do better. Said that he “told me all that I needed to know” Like um?? You said that you loved me? I was confused and hurt. Heartbroken. I cried all night that night.

 

The next night, I was at work, and he texts me. I had his social security card in my room and he needed it. I used that as an excuse to go and see him again. I gassed it from Elk Grove to Dixon at 10 o’clock ( I had left work early). Same story. He told me he loved me, but didn’t think we should be together. Super confusing. He told me there was “always a chance” and that “you are dumb if you think I wouldn’t ever ever talk to you again”. Those words comforted me I guess. We were romantic again, it felt nice. He promised he wouldn’t talk to any other girls, he said he just needed time. He even added me back on snapchat (on my request). When I was leaving, I asked if I could keep a stuffed animal that he had given me. He said yeah, and to keep it in good spirits. He even kissed the ing thing. The last thing he had said that night was “goodnight jazzy”. Perhaps my standards are so ing low, but I held onto that for a week.

 

I had found out that a day after, he was already talking to other girls. Asking them on dates, flirting, following them on Instagram. He deleted our pictures, as if I didn’t even exist. I cried and I cried. I didn’t say a thing, I didn’t want him to know that I knew. Well I could only take that for so long, so exactly a week later I called him for closure. Mind you, I had to call him 20 ing times for him to answer the phone. He was mad. Said he told me everything I needed to know, but I felt like he didn’t. He told me the exact opposite. He eventually told me he wanted to throw the 2 years away, I practically had to pry it out of him. He hung up on me. I sent him a long ass message about how I got the message and that I wouldn’t contact him ever again, and that I hoped he was happy/would find happiness.

 

5 days later on Tuesday, he thought it was a good idea to POST A PICTURE FROM WHEN WE WERE DATING ON SNAPCHAT, along with a message that said “I miss her so much, life is so hard without her, im so suicidal, blah”. I was shook. He wanted me out of his life but it was so hard without him? Confused. I didn’t say anything, I left it alone. I didn’t even have the guy on snap, my friend sent me the screen caps.

 

Then 2 days ago, on Thursday. I was sleeping when he texted me. He messaged me, 3 times. Hella mad. Talking about “what was that about?” and “I thought you said youd stop messaging my family”. I didn’t reply soon enough I guess so he messaged me on my NEW Instagram and asking me “what do you want?”. I was confused, because I didn’t contact his mom since last Thursday before he told me to on out of his life. And even if I did, you’d think that he would have just kept my number blocked and written me off as the crazy ex, right? He is literally driving me insane.

 

Im pretty much over wanting to be with him at this point, i just am still so confused about the situation! I know not to contact him, i refuse to. I guess i just want some insight from a non biased perspective

[rosephase]

You are both to immature for a committed long term relationship. You fight, blow up over little things, get into physical altercations, break up, purposefully hurt each other to get a reaction, seek out attention from other people, not to mention "I thought you loved me"

 

The situation is clear. Neither of you have the skills or ability to be with each other long term and that's normal! You are young. You are still changing rapidly. Neither of you even know what a healthy functioning relationship looks and feels like. It doesn't sound like one of you was the bad guy and one of you was the victim. You are just not ready. Take time while you are recovering to really think about what you want.

[1a1a]

Walk awaaaaaay. You deserve someone who is all in. And this guy was, but he very definitely is not anymore. And every time you re-engage, it’s only a matter of time before he rejects you again because his feelings have changed.

 

Or you can stay hooked on him for the next two years like I have and draw out the hurt of rejection for an interminably long time!!

 

And to try and take him off the pedestal a bit. He’s allowed to feel, whatever he feels, but he has had no consideration for you and you deserve someone who can be gentle with your feelings when what they want no longer matches what you want.

[HeartGoesOn]

It looks like the relationship is dead, and I wouldn't put any more effort into it. That said, I'm curious to know how you supported him while he lived with you rent free? You must have a well paying job.

 

Also, why not take the time to be single for a while?

[MissCanuck]

This relationship is most definitely over. The dynamic too toxic and there is too much damage done for this to work out. And that's okay, because it's clear that you no longer make each other happy.

 

I agree with rosephase, that this had become very immature. All this arguing, breaking up, punishing behaviour, physical confrontations, social media hacking - both of you need time and space apart so you can grow up and learn some relationship and communication skills. What you had together was so up-and-down and over-dramatic, and not the stuff of a healthy and long-term relationship. It won't be easy, but you will need to work on breaking your emotional addiction to your ex so you can learn to be happy on your own for a while. That's when a much better match for you will enter your life. This guy just isn't it anymore.