Boyfriend cheated

[Ashleymarie50]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope everything works out best for you

[shygirl209]

Nothing justifies cheating full stop.

 

Sigh, he's going to suck you dry and most likely would dump you in the future. But I guess then you'll live and learn =/

 

It is not easy, I am struggling everyday. I tell myself leave but then I think about him and I miss him and I say maybe he can change. Haven’t there been successful relationships like mine? I feel like there is.

[SweetGirl28]

He said he has only seen her like 3 times and never had a connection. He states the reason he cheated was because I kept breaking up with him. He said that he felt like at any moment I would leave him and so he went with a girl who was easy. I mean I never trusted him but that was because I was insecure and in the beginning our relationship was rocky but it improved for years and now it just went down hill.

 

This is why I asked. I had this feeling of insecurity on your part.

That does not excuse his behavior though. He should have ended it with you and then do as he pleased.

 

A relationship that already wasn't on solid ground certainly won't be if you stay together and he is the father.

A baby does not make a relationship easier, especially one that is not yours together.

 

Would he have confessed if she didn't say she is pregnant and the baby is his?

You need to consider this. As a mom, I'd advise if you were my daughter, to take space from him

and get your thoughts clear. Right now you are hurt, lonely, and afraid.

If you take some time away from him, you might realize you don't want this.

 

I know it's hard, especially when you already feel so alone.

Please confide in someone. You have people who care, I'm certain.

That's what family is for, you are not a burden on them with your feelings. You need someone to give you moral support, outside of a bunch of strangers here, though we all mean well, and want what's best for you.

[SweetGirl28]

It is not easy, I am struggling everyday. I tell myself leave but then I think about him and I miss him and I say maybe he can change. Haven’t there been successful relationships like mine? I feel like there is.

 

Of course there are, but those success stories involve partners who are mature enough to work it out

and get counseling and be committed. I don't see a high likelihood that this will be the case for you.

I'm sorry

[shygirl209]

So he's been cheating on you for a long time.

 

And yet you're still gonna take him back?

 

I guess so.

[shygirl209]

Of course there are, but those success stories involve partners who are mature enough to work it out

and get counseling and be committed. I don't see a high likelihood that this will be the case for you.

I'm sorry

 

It hurts to hear the truth but your right.

[SweetGirl28]

It hurts to hear the truth but your right.

 

You know what you can do? Get sweet revenge.

 

Distance yourself, work on your confidence and self esteem,find activities and interests,

join a gym or activity(kickboxing is great) to boost how you feel and get your feelings out.

 

He needs a little dose of reality to smack him in the face right now.

Does he even take you out?

If you're not there to be his crutch, his true colors will show.

[shygirl209]

This is why I asked. I had this feeling of insecurity on your part.

That does not excuse his behavior though. He should have ended it with you and then do as he pleased.

 

A relationship that already wasn't on solid ground certainly won't be if you stay together and he is the father.

A baby does not make a relationship easier, especially one that is not yours together.

 

Would he have confessed if she didn't say she is pregnant and the baby is his?

You need to consider this. As a mom, I'd advise if you were my daughter, to take space from him

and get your thoughts clear. Right now you are hurt, lonely, and afraid.

If you take some time away from him, you might realize you don't want this.

 

I know it's hard, especially when you already feel so alone.

Please confide in someone. You have people who care, I'm certain.

That's what family is for, you are not a burden on them with your feelings. You need someone to give you moral support, outside of a bunch of strangers here, though we all mean well, and want what's best for you.

 

Does counseling help?

[shygirl209]

Does counseling help?

 

Does counseling help me with all these emotions I am feeling. Like I said I am too embarrassed to tell my family. My mom, Dad, and sisters know but I feel like me walking around all sad makes them mad and feel sorry for me. I don’t want that.

[SweetGirl28]

Does counseling help?

 

I honestly believe counseling for you alone will help immensely.

As for doing it together, not a good idea right now.

You might be surprised the clarity you will find by talking with a trained professional.

They will dig deeper to help you understand the root of the issues.

 

I was forced into counseling at 24 because I could not leave an abuser.

I resisted like you wouldn't believe, lol, but by seven sessions, I got the clarity I needed and left.

And never once looked back and regretted it. He's now been married three times and still an abuser.

[shygirl209]

You know what you can do? Get sweet revenge.

 

Distance yourself, work on your confidence and self esteem,find activities and interests,

join a gym or activity(kickboxing is great) to boost how you feel and get your feelings out.

 

He needs a little dose of reality to smack him in the face right now.

Does he even take you out?

If you're not there to be his crutch, his true colors will show.

 

He did before we stopped communicating. Right after I found out I stopped seeing him so we haven’t seen each other since Halloween. He tried to take me out to like six flags or to a restaurant to eat and have drinks but I rejected. We barely talk now as well I get tempted to text him but I don’t. He doesn’t text me either because he says that he understands that he has hurt me and doesn’t want to hurt me anymore.

[SweetGirl28]

Does counseling help me with all these emotions I am feeling. Like I said I am too embarrassed to tell my family. My mom, Dad, and sisters know but I feel like me walking around all sad makes them mad and feel sorry for me. I don’t want that.

 

You shouldn't feel you are making then mad, they are concerned for you and hate seeing you hurt.

I feel like you are really beat down and unsure of yourself, which is causing you to feel this way.

Trust in people, sweetie. Open up to whom you feel comfortable. Pick one person, it doesn't need to be many.

And get that counseling.

[SweetGirl28]

He did before we stopped communicating. Right after I found out I stopped seeing him so we haven’t seen each other since Halloween. He tried to take me out to like six flags or to a restaurant to eat and have drinks but I rejected. We barely talk now as well I get tempted to text him but I don’t. He doesn’t text me either because he says that he understands that he has hurt me and doesn’t want to hurt me anymore.

 

So you do have self control! Good for you!

You're gonna miss him, cry, get angry, all of it.

Time with no contact will do wonders for your clarity.

I do wish you peace and happiness. I think you're a good girl who deserves a lot more

[shygirl209]

So you do have self control! Good for you!

You're gonna miss him, cry, get angry, all of it.

Time with no contact will do wonders for your clarity.

I do wish you peace and happiness. I think you're a good girl who deserves a lot more

 

Thank you. I feel kind of better just letting out all that I have been holding in.

[SweetGirl28]

Thank you. I feel kind of better just letting out all that I have been holding in.

 

Kind of better is a good start! Love yourself, believe in yourself.

You deserve good things in life. And, you're welcome

 

I hope you can update us with positive changes for you! (((Hugs))))

[shygirl209]

Kind of better is a good start! Love yourself, believe in yourself.

You deserve good things in life. And, you're welcome

 

I hope you can update us with positive changes for you! (((Hugs))))

 

I also got addicted to talking to psychics and that is probably why I felt so confused because they would tell me that we are meant to be together but that I have to give it time. That there will be barriers and obstacles. A lot of them said the same thing. So that is kind of the reason I wanted to give him a chance because they told me not to give up and to just be patient and time. That there was a possibility child was not his.

[SweetGirl28]

I also got addicted to talking to psychics and that is probably why I felt so confused because they would tell me that we are meant to be together but that I have to give it time. That there will be barriers and obstacles. A lot of them said the same thing. So that is kind of the reason I wanted to give him a chance because they told me not to give up and to just be patient and time. That there was a possibility child was not his.

 

Honey, please be careful with self proclaimed psychics.

It's good to believe and have faith, it keeps us going.

However you can't base your life off what they say to you.

Your gut will always tell you the truth. Listen to it.

And yes, the baby may not be his. But that's a waiting game right now.

So focus on you. He made his mess, you didn't.

[KantSleep]

I understand that you are shy and lonely, but you should still try to move on from this man. It sounds like there were problems in this relationship before the cheating incident occurred. You found him, you can find another. He isn't the last available man walking the earth.

[shygirl209]

Honey, please be careful with self proclaimed psychics.

It's good to believe and have faith, it keeps us going.

However you can't base your life off what they say to you.

Your gut will always tell you the truth. Listen to it.

And yes, the baby may not be his. But that's a waiting game right now.

So focus on you. He made his mess, you didn't.

 

True, your right. You really helped me from this dark hole that I felt sunken into.

[shygirl209]

True, your right. You really helped me from this dark hole that I felt sunken into.

 

I really needed to let someone know of my situation. I love how you didn’t judge me or say things that I hear from others.

[SweetGirl28]

I really needed to let someone know of my situation. I love how you didn’t judge me or say things that I hear from others.

 

I'm a mom sweetie, I've been thru hell and back again in regards to relationships and deaths, life issues, highs and lows.

Good times, bad times, dark times, you name it. I've lived it. I never pass judgement. I listen(in the case of here, I read) and try to get a feel for both sides. I've taken psych classes thru my nursing, and I still find myself in messes in life! Lol

 

You do need to let someone know. I don't know where your from, but there's always free counseling available

through a women's shelter . I know counseling can get expensive even through insurance.

Just know no matter how alone you feel. There's always someone to listen and help

[shygirl209]

I understand that you are shy and lonely, but you should still try to move on from this man. It sounds like there were problems in this relationship before the cheating incident occurred. You found him, you can find another. He isn't the last available man walking the earth.

 

I know but I don’t want to worry about guys right now. I need to fix me right now because I know I have insecurities, low self esteem, and my health obviously isn’t good right now either since I can’t sleep and eat.

[shygirl209]

I'm a mom sweetie, I've been thru hell and back again in regards to relationships and deaths, life issues, highs and lows.

Good times, bad times, dark times, you name it. I've lived it. I never pass judgement. I listen(in the case of here, I read) and try to get a feel for both sides. I've taken psych classes thru my nursing, and I still find myself in messes in life! Lol

 

You do need to let someone know. I don't know where your from, but there's always free counseling available

through a women's shelter . I know counseling can get expensive even through insurance.

Just know no matter how alone you feel. There's always someone to listen and help

 

Yeah I will be doing counseling for sure. I know I need it just due to the fact that I don’t sleep and don’t eat as well.

[SweetGirl28]

Yeah I will be doing counseling for sure. I know I need it just due to the fact that I don’t sleep and don’t eat as well.

 

Recognizing you need help is the first step.

Now put it into action. You will be fine, I promise you this

[shygirl209]

Recognizing you need help is the first step.

Now put it into action. You will be fine, I promise you this

 

Thank you so much.