JeffreyO Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 So, let me take you back to the past. I met my wife while living in Thailand. Culture there isn't quite what it is in the USA. Often many people don't have sex until marriage (or they're VERY opposite of that, depending on the person). My wife, before meeting me, had never been with a man. I should add we met at the age of 29 (I'm 33 now). Before having sex I said "if this relationship works out, maybe you should start taking birth control to be safe" so she started. After a few months she knew I felt love for her and vice versa so we decided it was the right time. The problem was, no matter what I could do I couldn't get her excited or wet. I thought this was due to nervousness. When I'd try to penetrate her I could tell she was in pain so I simply stopped and said "don't worry about it". A month or so later we decided to buy a little lube. That worked, albeit removing some of the romance of someones first time... I did all I could to comfort her but honestly I could tell she felt bad about it. We thought maybe it was due to the birth control she was taking so we changed which pill she was on. That helped ever so slightly. Four years later, this is still a problem but honestly I'm thinking it's not the pill I'm thinking it's her... and I know it sounds bad to blame her but she never seems to initiate, which could be normal, she never seems horny, she never seems to get very excited. Also, I have been with many other girls before her and never had this problem so maybe it's me but I don't see how... I CAN get her wet with oral but that's the only way. I want to take care of her but giving oral isn't exactly my thing so doing it is an act of... I don't want to say desperation but I'm trying my best to make her happy... I'm really open to advice on this. I don't want to rely on lube or oral every time but we haven't had sex in a month because the romance just isn't there when it's so hard to get her excited. I find myself watching porn far more than thinking about her... it's not because I don't love her but just the difficulty. I've had chances with other girls and, as much as I love my wife sometimes it's really hard to fight that natural urge. I hope I can find a way to make this work with the woman I love. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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