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Friendship Over Relationship


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Hi Everyone,


I am a single male and I have had many relationships with women in my life and they all ended at some point. I had short term and long term relationships with the longest one being 10 years.

I have reached a point where I don't want to have a closed relationship anymore, some people call it friends with benefits, I will call it just friends.

Basically when I meet a girl I tell her right away that I just want to be friends even if we kiss or if we have sex.

That seems to be working fine, I have added about 200 girls on Instagram in the past 10 months and some of them leave and I never hear back from them, but others stay and over time we build up our friendship.

Sex is occasional and not necessary. I don't get much sex at all but when it happens is very passionate.

This new model allows the girls to be totally free and it prevents serious breakups and heartbreaks in my opinion.

I don't know if it's going to work well forever but I have been using it successfully in the past 10 months.

I can tell that this model will not work well for men or women that are needy, jealous and want to be exclusive, but it's working for me for now and I would like to know what you think about it.

Thank you,


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Sounds like the MGTOW movement, just without the overt misogny that seems to crop up in many of the more vocal members.


MGTOW or 'Men Going Their Own Way' is an ideology about men not getting into relationships / marriages.


Unfortunately it is used by many in the movement as a tool against 3rd wave feminism and can be anti-women.

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So I met this girl Friday night at a dance club, she is much younger than me, only 21 years old and after talking for a bit and using my standard pickup strategies, we agreed to go to her dorm room. There I had the most amazing sexual experience of my life, we had sex 5 times and we cuddled all night. In the morning we took a shower together and we ate at Chipotle. She lost her phone so I gave her my number and added her on Instagram, we also agreed to meet again at the same dance club this coming Friday. I don't know if she is going to blow me off, it could happen, I surely hope not. I like her a lot but I am wary of relationships, and I don't want to fall in that trap. It would be fine to be exclusive sexually and to have fun at the club, dancing and talking, but relationship is a big trap in my opinion. I told her that I would like to have kids with her once she becomes a doctor in 10 years or so but not now. I don't want to piss her off but at the same time I don't want to start a serious relationship either. Any thoughts?

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It's a little weird to talk about having kids with someone down the road when you just had a very casual encounter.


If casual sex is what makes you happy, and you are honest and use condoms, go for it. I'd suggest not thinking casual lays are friends though , nor mistaking fun for any thing other than what it is. They aren't friends, and it's odd and putting yourself at risk too to act so familiar with someone you really don't know from a hole in the wall.


I think for longer term , maybe it works to have simply a series of casual encounters. I think for many people though it gets old quick and many people do want something a bit more substantial. Most important is be honest .

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