Depressed About Being Single

[EndlessNemesis]

I'm about a week away from my 32nd birthday and I have more or less been single now for 6 and a half years (my previous relationship lasted 4 years).

 

During this time I have dated, had flings and even one relationship which was official for all of 3 months before it fell apart. A couple of months ago I dated a girl for 5 weeks and I was crazy about her but then suddenly she changed her mind about me and basically ghosted me.

 

I hardly ever meet women that I really like enough to date or see a future with, I find it difficult because I own a small business and everyone I work with are 20 or so years older than me with wives and kids. I moved away from my friends to be closer to work and I don't know anyone where I live.

 

In January I broke up with a short-term girlfriend and I was so depressed and desperate that I joined some groups as a way of meeting new people. I made some new friends who I see sometimes and a few of the women have flirted/expressed an interest in dating me. Unfortunately I'm just not attracted to them, even though they are nice enough people.

 

I have a good job and make good money, have a nice place, have lots of friends (although they don't live nearby)... However I feel so dissatisfied with my life as I'm lonely, almost every evening I go home to an empty house. I've been told by lots of women that I am so handsome/good looking and I generally consider myself to be a fun, positive person as well as very kind and caring.

 

Somehow despite all this, on the rare occasions I meet someone that I'm attracted to and who feels the same way about me - it never lasts longer than a few months. All of my friends and family are partnered up and I feel like there's something wrong me with, that I'm unwanted.

 

I've become so depressed recently that I have lost all motivation to do anything. I wake up every morning on my own and go to sleep every night on my own and it seems like nothing ever changes or ever will. Should I just accept that this is my life, that some of us are destined to be alone? Or do I need to lower my standards and date someone that I'm not really attracted to? I'd welcome any insights into what I'm doing wrong.

[Unreasonable]

Should I just accept that this is my life, that some of us are destined to be alone?

No.

Or do I need to lower my standards and date someone that I'm not really attracted to?

 

I don't know, what are your "standards?"

 

I'd welcome any insights into what I'm doing wrong.

 

That's very difficult to know without knowing the circumstances of your failed relationships.

[EtrnalOptimist]

It is just possible you are over-thinking this.

 

You say things like "I was so depressed and desperate that I joined some groups as a way of meeting new people" which is terrible! I guess it depends on the groups (Axe-murderers Anonymous) but joining groups with like-minded people is a very good way to meet someone you can have a connection / long-term relationship with which sounds like what you want.

 

Be patient. Explore all avenue for dating (yes, even speed-dating is fun and builds confidence!). Be true to yourself and who you date, but try not to predict failure when you do start something

[fabact]

Why dont u do online dsting its easier than joining groups and such and you can talk to them on the phone to see if you jive first.

[abitbroken]

I have a good job and make good money, have a nice place, have lots of friends (although they don't live nearby)... However I feel so dissatisfied with my life as I'm lonely, almost every evening I go home to an empty house. I've been told by lots of women that I am so handsome/good looking and I generally consider myself to be a fun, positive person as well as very kind and caring.

 

Being dissatisfied with life rubs off on people and they pick it up. Seems like you need a reboot and get involved with things you care about. Also, maybe you need to just meet more women - so that when one doesn't pan out, its a numbers game. There is speed dating, "lunch date" type of organizations if you are in a major city and don't discount network events. My cousin met her husband in a running group they were both members of.

 

The reason i say groups is you also get to know men who have sisters, the friends of their wife, coworkers, etc,

[purplebyr]

I am also single. But I dont think I find myself is that pity. I mean you know you have everything in yourlife enough, while feel disatisfied?

 

Try to be more grateful and be happy for being who you are. Do some hobbies because of you like it.

 

Dont think too much. Just date people. Even when you are not attracted to them, date with them twice at least wont hurt you. After twice dating them if you are not changing your mind may be they are not good enough for you and your mind.

 

Also I learned that I am myself was too pushy and several people not going good enough to be pushed. But more of it that just means that we are not created for one another. There are people that can accept and love me although my weakness is being pushy sometimes.

 

 

Believe in yourself and your future. You attracted what you believe.