Rjw716 Posted November 2, 2017 Share Posted November 2, 2017 If you havent read any of my previous threads, my gf broke up with me a little over 3 months ago. Anyway, i learned she may or may not be "talking" (sort of becoming a thing) with someone else. The thought of her treating someone else how she treated me, talking to someone else how she talked to me, and doing things w someone else that we did absolutely kills me. It makes me feel sick to my stomach and like im being torn apart inside. My stomach hasnt stopped killing me since i found out. I dont even know for sure if its true or if she even likes him. But still, i cant stand the thought of her being like that with someone else. It absolutely kills me. How do i stop the obsessive thoughts? How do i stop stressing over it? Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted November 2, 2017 Share Posted November 2, 2017 How did you discover this, OP? Link to comment
android123 Posted November 2, 2017 Share Posted November 2, 2017 U need to STOP learning about her. No Contact means cutting off every tie u have with the ex. No new sources of information are supposed to reach u. Why? Cuz then u end up feeling exactly how u do now. It's not too late though. U have the ability to implement NC, right now. Please do so if u want to feel better again. I guarantee that u will. Link to comment
bennymate Posted November 2, 2017 Share Posted November 2, 2017 I am in a similar sort of situation in terms of the obsessive thoughts. Me and my ex have been split for a year and just recently i discovered that she had a boyfriend and became a stripper, it's been a week since finding out and i have been so so depressed about it, all i do is ruminate and think of her with other guys etc. I wish i knew how to make the thoughts stop, its making me go insane. Link to comment
android123 Posted November 2, 2017 Share Posted November 2, 2017 To bennymate: Dang. What a high quality woman...not. As harsh as it sounds, coming up with justifiable reasons to despise that person are thoughts that will cancel out your sadness. The more u think it, the more you'll believe it. Link to comment
bennymate Posted November 2, 2017 Share Posted November 2, 2017 So you are saying that discovering this news will help me forget about her and move on? Link to comment
Rustysuit Posted November 2, 2017 Share Posted November 2, 2017 So you are saying that discovering this news will help me forget about her and move on? It's kinda petty to take comfort in the misery of others, but if it helps you dealing with the sadness. As for me, I'd be like "W.T.F. happened???" Link to comment
No1 Posted November 2, 2017 Share Posted November 2, 2017 She is 15. She is going to date a lot of guys. This is not about her, its about you. I understand that you are hurt and it sucks but you must stop focusing on her. There is no other way to say it. You are far too young to be thinking long term. Accept that it is over and she is young and is going to see and touch and kiss many guys. Its her life. Focus on yours. Link to comment
Mikey383 Posted November 2, 2017 Share Posted November 2, 2017 So you are saying that discovering this news will help me forget about her and move on? Dude... She is a stripper now!!! That is low, low, low quality of a woman.... That alone should make you quit thinking of her... Seriously!!!! Link to comment
Mikey383 Posted November 2, 2017 Share Posted November 2, 2017 I have been NC for over 60 days now... She dumped me and within weeks she had a new BF.... I do miss her, but do not obsess over her new life... Actually I have been logically digesting it all and realizing that I dodged a bullet. She dumped me and went on a dating APP right off the bet.... Found a new guy within light speed... I did not snoop, just found out by coincidence... Still, it shows me her quality at its best.... Link to comment
Pto29538 Posted November 2, 2017 Share Posted November 2, 2017 If you havent read any of my previous threads, my gf broke up with me a little over 3 months ago. Anyway, i learned she may or may not be "talking" (sort of becoming a thing) with someone else. The thought of her treating someone else how she treated me, talking to someone else how she talked to me, and doing things w someone else that we did absolutely kills me. It makes me feel sick to my stomach and like im being torn apart inside. My stomach hasnt stopped killing me since i found out. I dont even know for sure if its true or if she even likes him. But still, i cant stand the thought of her being like that with someone else. It absolutely kills me. How do i stop the obsessive thoughts? How do i stop stressing over it? You sound like you are your own worst enemy . You are assuming every moment of every day that she is with this magical person and sooo happy . You don’t even know if she is with someone and even if she is it doesn’t mean she is so happy . He might even make her miss you . Sometimes when I get chatting to someone new I even miss my ex more because I compare them . I’m not saying that this is the case but you have made her being within some one into her being over the moon happy and having moved on with someone else whereas you do not know this is the case . In 6 months this new person may be history . If I were you I would focus on my strength and pulling myself together so it down the line in a year or 2 she does meet someone she gets very serious about that you have moved on to the extent you don’t care anymore . But driving yourself crazy about some man you don’t even know her feelings for makes no sense . I can guarantee you are thinking more of this man that she is 😊 Link to comment
No1 Posted November 2, 2017 Share Posted November 2, 2017 I am in a similar sort of situation in terms of the obsessive thoughts. Me and my ex have been split for a year and just recently i discovered that she had a boyfriend and became a stripper, it's been a week since finding out and i have been so so depressed about it, all i do is ruminate and think of her with other guys etc. I wish i knew how to make the thoughts stop, its making me go insane. You are thinking of this because your Ego is damaged. This has more to do about you than it does about her. We all like to think we were the best and when our Xs go out and find someone else, it hurts us. But remember, she had dated someone else before dating you so what made you think you were "THE ONE" that was going to make her stop dating men? You accept this girl wasn't the one for you. The reason behind the break up doesn't matter. It didn't work out and that's what you go with. She is on her own path, you are on yours. It should no longer matter to you what she is doing. I know it hurts, but you must accept that. Link to comment
android123 Posted November 3, 2017 Share Posted November 3, 2017 So you are saying that discovering this news will help me forget about her and move on? It sure will. And in time, ur distaste will turn into indifference. Like someone previously said, u dodged a bullet. Someone willing to do that (strip) is not suitable or mature enough for a committed relationship. It would've gone downhill eventually. Link to comment
bennymate Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 The reason it's a bit different is because she was my first love and i was hers, i am 19 and she is 20. For a sensitive 19 year old that fell deeply in love with his first, all the news i heard was so hard to comprehend. I hope time will do its thing and ill heal from this and reach indifference. Link to comment
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