How likely is it that a girl will chase you after not stopping?

[10023711]

We're in college. So i met a girl like 3-4 weeks ago at a bar. I mentioned that she should come home with me. We ended up exchanging numbers. When i say we should go downtown and she says

"ok possibly, after other festivities". I say "let me know". She says "remind me We end up going to the bars, but i dont really make a move besides holding her by the waist. She shows some interest by drinking out of my cup.

 

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I text her again a week later telling her that we should go to the downtown bars again and she says "ok possibly, there's a party at [fraternity name]. But maybe downtown later". I say "cool, we may see each other". We didn't hang out bc i didn't text her.

 

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Anyways i see her around campus and she smiles and waves at me first, but doesn't stop to talk.

 

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Adding to the backstory: she's a party girl, but not too much. My two friends have slept with like 3 of her friends.

 

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1. Should i ask her out one more time?

2. Do you think if i stop contacting her, she'll come for me? She hasn't texted me first. How likely is this?

3. Even though she's always said "maybe", she'll actually willing to go to the bars with me. Maybe she's playing hard to get?

4. Was her mentioning the frat party and invite for me to ask if i want to tag along?

 

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[reinventmyself]

How about you approach her in person and ask her out on a proper date with just the two of you?

 

Maybe she isn't taking you seriously if the only option is to meet up in a bar surrounded by others and alcohol.

[DancingFool]

.....What do you want? I mean if you are looking for a drinking buddy, keep asking her to meet up at bars after other events and if it's convenient, it will continue as is. If you actually want a date, then ask her for an actual date. This isn't that complicated........

[10023711]

.....What do you want? I mean if you are looking for a drinking buddy, keep asking her to meet up at bars after other events and if it's convenient, it will continue as is. If you actually want a date, then ask her for an actual date. This isn't that complicated........

 

So you think she's interested enough? The thing is, she knows i didn't want anything really serious, and has still shown some interest regardless, so i'm worried that it will scare her away.

[reinventmyself]

So you think she's interested enough? The thing is, she knows i didn't want anything really serious, and has still shown some interest regardless, so i'm worried that it will scare her away.

 

It just doesn't work that way. If there is some reasonable level of interest, then you ask her out.

Scare her away? It's not a marriage proposal.

 

You don't wait for written guarantee.

Continue doing what you are doing and you may miss your window of opportunity.

unless. . .you do just want a drinking buddy, then continue on.

[DancingFool]

So you think she's interested enough? The thing is, she knows i didn't want anything really serious, and has still shown some interest regardless, so i'm worried that it will scare her away.

 

Huh???? Dude, what do you actually want? A date is not an invitation to get married........ What exactly is going to scare her away? Either she interested enough to go out on a date with you or she isn't and only way to find out is to ask. There is no way to divine that out from tea leaves ......man...what's up with you?

[kctiger]

I agree with the other posters. If you're interested in her, man up and ask her on a date in person. That's how it's done. If she says no, then who cares? I have no idea what her level of interest is in you regardless of all the "clues" you mention above. The easiest way to clear this confusion is to formally ask her out. Stop overthinking this situation. If you are waiting for her to chase you then I think you'll be wasting a lot of time.

[10023711]

I agree with the other posters. If you're interested in her, man up and ask her on a date in person. That's how it's done. If she says no, then who cares? I have no idea what her level of interest is in you regardless of all the "clues" you mention above. The easiest way to clear this confusion is to formally ask her out. Stop overthinking this situation. If you are waiting for her to chase you then I think you'll be wasting a lot of time.

 

She's at the bar often, but idk if i'll run into her again this weekend. I'd rather ask her in person. Do you think its worth just waiting to run into her rather than to text her?

[kctiger]

She's at the bar often, but idk if i'll run into her again this weekend. I'd rather ask her in person. Do you think its worth just waiting to run into her rather than to text her?

 

These days it's perfectly acceptable to use the phone to set up a date. Call her and ask her out on a date. If you don't feel comfortable calling, then text at last resort. Set it up, then knock it out of the park. If she says she isn't that interested, then at least you know. Plus, you already noted you aren't looking for anything serious, so it really shouldn't matter if she turns you down or not. Ask her when she's free to get together then make definitive plans. GO FOR IT!!

[abitbroken]

Personally, I think you blew it a little by telling her that "you should come home with me" the first time you met her. She knows you want to get in her pants -- holding her by the waist, only asking her to "meet up at bars,"etc. And the attitude that "my friends have slept with 3 of her friends" - she probably senses that you just want sex. You only met her 3-4 weeks ago, I don't see any real "chasing" going on. If you were chasing, you'd find out what she likes to do besides go to bars and take an interest in taking her to something or meeting her somewhere that speaks to her actual character or interests. It seems you only want to see her to try to recreate your previous meetings

[10023711]

Personally, I think you blew it a little by telling her that "you should come home with me" the first time you met her. She knows you want to get in her pants -- holding her by the waist, only asking her to "meet up at bars,"etc. And the attitude that "my friends have slept with 3 of her friends" - she probably senses that you just want sex. You only met her 3-4 weeks ago, I don't see any real "chasing" going on. If you were chasing, you'd find out what she likes to do besides go to bars and take an interest in taking her to something or meeting her somewhere that speaks to her actual character or interests. It seems you only want to see her to try to recreate your previous meetings

 

I don't want anything serious right now and if she's open to having something casual, then that works for the both of us. I wouldn't mind dating her or having a fwb, but i don't want to get attached since i'm graduating. The thing is she's shown some interest even after me saying that she should come home with me, so maybe that's what she wants, but is playing hard to get? If all i want is a fwb should i still go on the date?

[reinventmyself]

I don't want anything serious right now and if she's open to having something casual, then that works for the both of us. I wouldn't mind dating her or having a fwb, but i don't want to get attached since i'm graduating. The thing is she's shown some interest even after me saying that she should come home with me, so maybe that's what she wants, but is playing hard to get? If all i want is a fwb should i still go on the date?

 

You are allowed to date people and not assume that it's any more than just a date. If you don't want to get attached, don't. Be upfront with her what your intentions are.

 

But if u think she's game and you are comparing her to her friends that sleep around, then she very well could just be a casual thing.

If she was she wouldn't scare off that easily, right?

Unless she's just not interested - in you.

[abitbroken]

I don't want anything serious right now and if she's open to having something casual, then that works for the both of us. I wouldn't mind dating her or having a fwb, but i don't want to get attached since i'm graduating. The thing is she's shown some interest even after me saying that she should come home with me, so maybe that's what she wants, but is playing hard to get? If all i want is a fwb should i still go on the date?

 

There's a difference between not wanting anything serious and wanting casual sex.

If someone doesn't want anything serious, they invite someone to use their extra ticket at the concert or ball game. They go to a movie.

Assume anyone you meet wants to date and doesn't want a casual hookup - in otherwords, treat them with respect, unless they say otherwise.

 

BTW, Doesn't "F" in Friends with Benefits mean "Friends" making an agreement rather than "hooking up?" I mean, she's not your friend. Its not like you knew her for three years and you weren't seeing anyone and she wasn't either and you decide to do something...

 

BTW

[IAmFCA]

There's a difference between not wanting anything serious and wanting casual sex.

If someone doesn't want anything serious, they invite someone to use their extra ticket at the concert or ball game. They go to a movie.

Assume anyone you meet wants to date and doesn't want a casual hookup - in otherwords, treat them with respect, unless they say otherwise.

 

BTW, Doesn't "F" in Friends with Benefits mean "Friends" making an agreement rather than "hooking up?" I mean, she's not your friend. Its not like you knew her for three years and you weren't seeing anyone and she wasn't either and you decide to do something...

 

BTW

 

Excellent points

 

I was the Sure Ill do 8 shots and dance till we're kicked out gal... never hooked up. Even at a summer house where it was the norm. In fact, there I didn't even wear a 2 piece bathing suit just because I felt less available than my peers. But I had energy for days and was engaged in whatever I was doing. Never once even kissed a guy in that environment.

 

Decades later, when men are obviously trying to get me in bed I dont notice. I expect to be regarded as a person of consequence. If you think I am disposable, that is your privilege. I won't understand you because I don't recognize your premise as valid.

 

I respect men who don't waste their time. If you want to have sex with me and don't see value beyond that, I respect you less because your time is cheap.

 

If you want to find out more about this petson, ask her out. Text her and ask for a phone call then ask on the phone.

 

If you want to have sex and roll out, wait till you're in the bar.