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Boyfriend is friends with ex who he cheated with in the past (not on me)


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I don't know if I'm over reacting so I'd really like some feedback.


My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months. He has an ex that he cheated with on a past relationship (he said he was so in love with her) and more recently wanted to get back together with her, just prior to dating me. Now he wants to be close friends with her, he says he doesn't have a lot of friends and that she knows him so well. Only I'm not comfortable with this. I'm also not comfortable with being controlling about who he is friends with, but it really bothers me. It seems like she is this constant fixture in his life and I feel like it's just not completely over between them. I'm worried that I might be paranoid about this as I have some abandonment issues.


Any insights?



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Did he give a reason why they didn't get back together at all? It is ok being friends with ex's but it can cause problems. My ex and his family spoke badly about his ex he was with for 6 years. We were together for four years. Minute we broke up he's friends with her again when I never told him he couldn't be friends with people. But he always jumped at me being friends with my ex's or even getting messages off them. Needless to say he's friends again with his ex but won't speak to me at all and aporently I meant more than any girl he's been with.


Just be careful, go with your gut instinct x

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Well, once you love someone, you usually love them forever. So I would be suspicious of this friendship. He could easily run to her if your relationship gets rocky.


Of course, this is true of any relationship, and even you might have some boys in your past you could run to. I don't know what will happen. You'll have to see how the relationship goes.

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Sorry, I don't love my ex. And, this attachment is not finished. At all.


I think that you can have friendships with exs, but considering the history, and that he wanted to reunite within the last year are huge red flags.


OP, you are a place card, until he returns to her. Sorry.

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Take it or leave it. I'd hate to oversimplify, but that really is all you can do. We can all chime in about how much we'd hate to be in that situation, which is probably true, but at the end the day, you've got to make a conscious decision to stay in or leave a situation you're not comfortable with.


What I will say is that, even if I wouldn't get caught touching someone in his position with a 100ft pole, it is out in the open, so you lose ignorance as an excuse and you forfeit your right to chide him or vocally lament his relationship with his ex.

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