Ex Boyfriend is mad at me

[stargirl456]

Heres a little background on our breakup:

So on September 11th my ex boyfriend broke up with me. We were having a lot of problems and the relationship was becoming less enjoyable. He is 19 and im 18 but we were so in love. We were having a lot of problems with his parents. They are SUPER controlling, they have a tracker on him, remove his money that he works for, and would remove his phone for any stupid little thing like having it in the restroom or eating too slow. His parents were too controlling of our relationship as well by controlling what we can and cant do. He would get mad at his parents and try standing up for himself but they saw it as being disrespectful so they would lock him in the garage. We would argue about his parents a lot because all we wanted was to see each other but his parents made it impossible. At times I wouldnt hear from him for days and we dont go to the same college so it would be impossible to see each other. Our relationship was becoming very toxic with the frustration of not being able to see each other like a normal couple. He wanted everyone off his back so he decided to break it off.

I was in love with him, I still am. I saw all the bad in the relationship but I thought we could make it work. He told me that I was the one, he wanted to marry me, saw a future with me, and that all this is worth it. I guess actions speak louder than words /: I begged for him back and told him to give this a second chance but he didn't want to anymore. My health got really bad because of this breakup, I would throw up by just thinking of this breakup. Every single little thing would remind me of him and I would just cry. Every night I would have dreams of him. Te first week was horrible. For some reason my brain thought that there was a chance of us getting back together but I knew it wasnt possible. I love him very much but I know this relationship isnt something I need back in my life. I texted him on September 22nd asking if we could meet up so we could talk because this would help me get over him quicker. He agreed to meet up September 30th. Starting Monday September 25th to Thursday September 28th, we were having short conversations that I would start. I felt like we were both enjoying talking to each other and that theres a chance of us getting back together even though he said he doesnt want to try again and that I should move on... On thursday I called him crying because hes always been there for me and knows how to make me feel better, school has had me stressed so i decided to call. He seemed really worried and like he actually cared, I thought this was an indicator of him still having feelings for me.

 

So this is what happened today, Friday September 29th

So today I texted him asking where we are meeting up tomorrow. He didnt answer so I decided to call him 4 hours later and he still doesnt answer. So he texts me saying "Leave me alone." So i said, "Why? I just want you to answer my text" and he replied with "This makes it kinda hard. Explain this pic" so he sends me a picture of my tinder profile. I was a little confused and i said "what about it" and he replied with "I thought you werent over me". I dont see whats so wrong with being on tinder, I felt like I should take this advice and try to move on therefore I made a tinder because I was bored. Im obviously not over him and to be completely honest I dont answer any of these boys. It really surprised me how pissed he was at me, he even told me that he doesnt want to meet up anymore.

I forgot to mention that in less than a week he went out on a date with a girl, started to follow a ton of girls, and commenting on their pictures. He also started to put himself out there. It really hurt me because he did all that in less than a week. Its been almost 3 weeks of our breakup and I made myself a tinder account for the fun of it and he got livid. Can somebody explain his actions? Or am I the one thats wrong? Im just really confused and he made me feel like absolute poo /:

[Natsufirefox]

It just sounds to me like he wants to go out here and play the field but wants you to stay stuck on him just in case these other girls don't want him.

[MissCanuck]

I hate to say it, but it sounds like he broke up with you not so much because his parents want to control him but because he doesn't want a girlfriend. He wants to go out and date around and not have any commitments. At only 18 and 19, you two are far too young to be talking about marriage and that sort of thing. Neither of you will actually be ready for that for a long time yet. It sucks, but you can't take promises of a grand future seriously from a 19-year-old.

 

The fact that he went on a date less than a week after breaking up with you indicates that he wants to explore and play the field. I know that's a hard truth, but his actions tell you all you need to know.

 

As for his Tinder tantrum - pfft. What a tool. He didn't want you to find his replacement until he found yours, in case he wanted you as a back-up. Let him be livid - that's just evidence of his immaturity and selfishness. It's not because he loves you; it's because he doesn't want you to take away his convenient source of affection and attention (ie. you) in case the single life isn't as fun as he hopes.

 

I'm sorry OP, but this is over and it sounds like it's for the best. He isn't anywhere near ready to be in a relationship.

[stargirl456]

idk if it makes a difference but we were going out for a year and 6 months. Plus we were meeting up tomorrow to talk and because he owes me money haha. But I totally agree that its best for both us to not be together. He would always say that he cant treat me the way he wants to treat me because of his parents. I would always give him the benefit of the doubt knowing his situation with his parents but deep down I knew I deserved better. I guess time will heal everything /:

[MissCanuck]

I don't think the length of the relationship is terribly important, beyond taking longer to heal from.

 

You have more shared memories at 1.5 years, but in the grand scheme of things, you will have longer and more significant relationships in your life.