Bf's self-esteem issues

[Poupee]

I really do think my bf has self-esteem issues.We've been friends for 3 years and he's always been like this.He has also told me a lot of times that he used to be really depressed before,but not anymore since he's with me.What bothers me is that sometimes he puts himself down and it makes me so mad that he'd do that.He was very insecure until a couple of months ago cause he wasnt sure about his career goals,finally he decided what he's gonna major at but he's gonna have to do 3 more years instead of 2 cause he wasted time not being sure what to do.Then he used to have this crappy job that he was not happy with so he recently got a new one that he liked very much but now it turns out it wasnt as great as he thought cause he's not making the money he'd like.Then there's his physical issues.He loves to play soccer and used to be a great player but he hasnt played in a long time.So last year he went to play with these guys and since he hadnt played in years,he ended up not playing well and completely exhausted.After that he's been even worse about the whole situation, but I told him he first has to practice before trying to play a whole match!

Anyway,the thing is,I hate when he says things like 'I'm not good enough for you' and such.So today we had this discussion which was really stupid actually.It all started about how he felt emotionally,he told me he felt weak and bad cause he couldnt play and all,so then I told him that I've been telling him for a long time that he should go practice and he always makes up excuses.And then things went downhill

I'm supposed to go see him in 2 weeks and now he told me I shouldnt go cause he's feeling bad.I got sad and offended when he said that.It just makes me SO mad that he'd talk like that! make himself look like a weak,inferior person.I really do love him and I always try to help him but I dont always know what to do.Up until recently we were having some issues cause I was having some personal problems but I sorted that out.And he was just here on saturday and everything was so great and special I'm just so frustrated right now and sad.I've mentioned to him before going to see a doctor (therapist) but he said he didnt have money for that but I know that the real thing is he wont go anyway cause he's not the type of guy that'd talk of his feelings and emotions with a stranger.I just know him.

I just wanna know if anyone's been through this and what can I do?

Thanks.

[rilo82]

Hi Poupee, I am a guy and i used to have those self esteem issues myself when i was with my gf. Basically, she was comparing me with her best friends' bfs who were basically rich and have a lot of time to spare. I hit rock bottom when she told me "why cant you be more like ****'s bf".

 

so my answer to your dilemma would be, have you been putting your bf down? he may not want to practice soccer for some reason. you shld try to understand his reasons, and if you cant ask him directly, do it when he is distracted.

or how about asking his best friends what his issues are? maybe that will help....