First date, I SCREWED UP , PLEASE HELP

[December123]

Ok so I met this guy irl from the Internet, we've been talking for a while and are really similar, want the same things- a serious relationship and get on rrly well.

ok so several times he tried to kiss me or I thought he was and I pulled away instinctively- I've kinda always gotten overly nervous on first kisses and also I haven't had a real date in like 8 months. I just felt soo nervous and then I kept thinking I wasn't ready yet and I didn't wanna force myself.

 

I obviously didn't mean it personally or to insult him but he seemed insulted and at one point he said "I wasn't trying to kiss you jeez" in a rrly annoyed voice and like I FELT REALLY BAD, I mean at that point I really felt like I effed up the whole date and relationship, tbh the date just didn't feel the same after that point, I felt like it was no longer a "fun date", I just couldn't shake the feeling he was rrly annoyed at me.

I apologised and he NEVER said it was ok, he just kinda smiled.

When I was saying goodbye he just kinda seemed distant.

He took a while to message when he got home and my mind immediately went to "he's never gonna message again, it's over" and I just felt SOO DEPRESSED cuz I felt like that would be all my fault but he did message.

I don't know, I just feel like everything's changed, before we were planning this amazing relationship together and I really had strong feelings for him, but now I feel like I don't (or at least not as strong) , I feel really stupid for pulling away and I know that it can't be all because of just that but I feel like it's all my fault.

Is it my fault? I mean is it really that bad?

Is there still a chance for a relationship?

What should I do now?

What do you think?

 

** We are still texting a lot and he's still saying nice things so maybe it isn't all bad**

[SherrySher]

No need to feel bad, many many people are not comfortable with kissing on the first date. In fact, most times the guy will let the woman lead so as to not make her feel pressured. It's too bad that this guy didn't take note of that.

 

In order to have any kind of intimacy, even hand holding and kissing, a person needs to feel comfortable and like they've gotten to know this person well. That takes time. And even if you've been talking online, it's not the same as irl. It's a shame that this guy didn't take his time and let you feel at ease.

 

I actually blame him, not you at all. You have a right to go at a pace you're comfortable with. This guy should have taken the hint the first time and been understanding and a gentleman. The fact the fact that he kept on,.. to me, would be a red flag.

 

I would take a pass on this guy and find someone who makes you feel comfortable and goes at the same pace as you're wanting and who actually understands your cues and doesn't force or make you feel bad.

[j.man]

Really would have had to have been there. If he legit was going in for a kiss, then yeah, I don't blame you if kissing on the first date ain't your thing (it's not for me, either). But if we're talking you jerking back whenever he happens to dip forward a bit while delivering a punch line, that's an entirely different thing to consider.

[James516]

Either before or during the first date - you both were planning "an amazing relationship", you had "strong feelings" and still want to know if it can be a relationship. It has been one date! Lift your foot from the pedal, what is the rush? This sounds like desperation for a relationship which will not work well. Whatever is said in messages before meeting is just that - words. It takes time to know someone and for things to develop if you want a possibility to last. Right now you both sound like a pair of red flags.

 

If he's still texting, all is fine. Relax and enjoy by giving time for things to develop.

[deedee911]

Don't worry! If he's the right one he will understand and not take it so seriously. Water under the bridge... something you two can laugh about later. If it's meant to be!

[wom360]

Sounds like you send mixed signals. Into him online but aloof in person. I know I'd be gone but his continued texting seems to show he's still trying.