Proposal Ideas...How to decide on how to do it?

[BigKK]

So I have several ideas... I am not sure which to go with.

 

One of my favorites was a friend scuba dove with his girlfriend, and pointed out a cool shell under water and it had a ring in it. It was rather funny since apparently she had zero interest in investigating and he just kept asking her to check it (under water).

 

 

Our first date was kayaking, so I considered something ocean related.

 

We love hiking, my knee jerk reaction is proposing at the summit. Do I need a photographer? Considered inviting a friend to hike with us and she could just snap some photos.

 

 

Otherwise I've poked around the internet for some ideas, didn't realize so many people get other's involved.

 

Also traditionally who do you tell? I am going to ask her dad for permission soon, but just dragging my feet. I was hoping he'd visit, but it's not for another 4-5 months. So a phone call will suffice. She has a father and step-father, was going to ask them both.

 

 

Any tips would be appreciated. If it was up to me, we'd go and get eloped but I know a lot of her and my family would want to celebrate, and more importantly, so will my girlfriend so I suppose I will dance the dance. I have zero direction with the ring besides knowing not to spend a lot (yay), we've talked about it before and she groans everytime a friend of hers has a several thousand dollar ring, but yet they can't afford a house. I went to one ring place and got slightly overwhelmed and sort of a used car feel. I had to repeatedly ask that I don't care to look at anything with 4 digits in the price.

 

 

I have only told two people about my plans thus far, I have one friend who said she'd help with whatever I need. I keep just asking her for ideas...lol

[vesper]

I picked out my own ring with my husband. How are you going to figure out her ring size? Maybe get a mutual friend to take her ring shopping without her knowing what you are up to. There is nothing more dissapointing than NOT liking your ring which is what happened in my first marriage .

[Liraele]

Have you considered Etsy for a ring? You could get something unique... and it lets you set your $$ range.

 

The only concern I'd have with water-based proposals is the ring accidentally getting dropped.

 

Traditionally, I think only the parents (if asked for permission) and the closest of friends/family are told before the actual proposal, to avoid the surprise being spoiled completely.

 

The photographer is a your call thing. Is she going to want a record of that moment from more than the two of you snapping selfies after the fact? If so, then maybe recruit a friend to snap pics for you - but the more people you have to coordinate, the more trouble it becomes. It sounds like you are both a bit more practical than that, so I'd say if there's a special hiking spot... that'd be an ideal venture. Is there one that you guys both love, and one you'll likely return to over the years, making it a good spot to form memories/mark special occasions?

[indea08]

As long as it's memorable, she will love it. To ALOT of women, it's SUPER important to have a photographer...I would say that's just as important as how you ask. Therefore, do it somewhere that she will look beautiful. Not when she's all sweaty, hair a mess after a long kayak trip or something. Trust me, she will want to look pretty.

[Snny]

Only problem with getting friends involved is this:

 

What if she says NO to the proposal because she is not ready?

How would you handle embarrassment and disappointment around yours/her friends?

 

The more people you get involved, the more she will feel pressured to say YES. For most people, truly better to propose privately with zero social pressure or later regrets.

 

Also traditionally who do you tell? I am going to ask her dad for permission soon, but just dragging my feet. I was hoping he'd visit, but it's not for another 4-5 months.

Asking for a blessing vs. permission are two separate things. It's 2017 and unless you live in an ultra conservative community, women are not their fathers' property. So what's your backup plan if her daddy says no? Still plan to marry her regardless? You can tell whoever you want either before or after the proposal.

 

My husband went ahead and asked me to marry him without my father's blessings (and I come from a strict Catholic family); that was because my dad did not 100% approve me dating a man outside of my race/culture. We both had a huge fight during visiting, the day my husband planned to ask for my parents' blessings. After the proposal, he met with my dad privately for lunch and told him everything. Everything else was fine after that.

 

If you plan to propose, know your girlfriend. Know what she likes and is comfortable with. Don't put her in a position where she is pressured or uncomfortable.

 

 

If it was up to me, we'd go and get eloped but I know a lot of her and my family would want to celebrate, and more importantly, so will my girlfriend so I suppose I will dance the dance. I have zero direction with the ring besides knowing not to spend a lot (yay), we've talked about it before and she groans everytime a friend of hers has a several thousand dollar ring, but yet they can't afford a house.

The most expensive ring should be the wedding band, not the engagement ring. My engagement ring didn't even cost anywhere near $500 and I still love it.

 

I wanted to elope so badly and have a reception party afterward because of cost AND wedding planning is extremely stressful. Believe it or not, I was extremely HAPPY the wedding was over because I had massive battles with family trying to dictate my wedding planning, and a husband who didn't have a backbone to help me out as much (and it was so frustrating when I was doing all of this as a full-time grad student and full-time teaching). I do not miss my wedding day at all even though it was a lovely party and people really enjoyed themselves.

 

After proposing (and her saying YES), sit down and discuss what kind of wedding you BOTH want. Make it absolutely clear of what you and her expect and have middle ground, or wedding planning will be agonizing as it was for me. How many people you plan to invite (and their significant others must be included), where to hold it.... shop around venues and come up with a budget. If you start accepting money from family members to help pay for the wedding, be well aware that you are handing over the reins and giving them a say in the wedding plans (AVOID THIS). Make sure you have a say in the planning because it is also YOUR wedding day too. Some women get carried away with wedding planning and let the little, unnecessary things stress them out (or turn themselves into bridezillas).

[Snny]

As long as it's memorable, she will love it. To ALOT of women, it's SUPER important to have a photographer

 

Are you sure?

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