violent brother, need help

[cheerbabe91010]

I'm in a very difficult situation. I'm a 21 year old female still living with my parents, (51 and 55), my sister (20) and my brother (25). My brother has been terrorizing my life for about 8 months.

 

He was always an antisocial, accentric, detached person. But he never showed any serious signs of mental illness until 2010 when he was 18. He just snapped and had a psychotic break. Ever since then he has had episodes of being normal and being a bit borderline psychotic. He's been in and out of a mental hospital, never been diagnosed with anything. He's been on a number of different medications.

 

My mom has always been his enabler. At 25 he has done nothing with his life. He's never had a job, or a significant other or a drivers license. And my mom had completely enabled his behavior. She's never made him face any consequences of his action and has always given him everything he's ever wanted. This has made my brother weirdly attached to her and dependent on her and her enabling.

 

About a war ago my mom started buying my brother alcohol and that's when hit the fan. He is now an alcoholic and his mental illness is terrible. He has health paranoia about crazy rare illnesses and blames my mom for not being able to eat him rare health tests to get the illnesses ruled out. He obsessively gets on he internet looking up rare health illnesses and harasses my mom about his fear of them. He never leaves her alone. He bothers her 24/7 and tells her she's an evil and terrible person for not helping him get the illnesses ruled out even though she has tried. He has had multiple appointments and doctors have told him he is healthy but he still doesn't listen.

 

He also refuses to get any help for his mental problems.

 

Back to the alcoholism, my mom buys him as much alcohol as he wants and if she says no he threatens to hurt her or kill himself. He gets drunk and goes completely insane and violent. He screams delusional things at the top of his lungs and goes around destroying the entire house. He has this delusion that my mom is evil and out to get him but he's attached to her at the same time. He's a big man and he's terrifying. I'm afraid that the alcoholism mixed with the mental illness is going to drive him to actually murder someone. My house is a hell. I'm living in fear. My mom is deteriorating everyday. I feel like this is never going to end. I've called the cops countless times and they have been no help since he hasn't done anything illegal yet. Im afraid he's going to kill my mom or someone else. I'm terrified and I don't know what to do. My mom won't listen to anything I say. She keeps enabling him and won't kick him out or anything. Still buys him whatever he wants. Is in complete denial. But this is killing her and it's breaking my heart. I love my mom and I don't want to lose her but there's no getting through to her. This is mostly her fault. I want to move out but I feel like if I leave my mom alone with my brother he'll kill her because I won't be there to call the cops. I'm just desperate and I don't know what to do. I feel like I've tried everything and I'm completely alone in a rare and freak situation.

[Unreasonable]

I'm afraid there isn't much you can do if your mom won't do anything and he hasn't physically hurt anyone. Have you told the police of his threats to hurt his mom or kill himself? If so, what happens? That definitely seems to merit an involuntary admission to the hospital to me.

 

There's really only one thing you CAN do. Get out. I'm sorry for your mom but you can't rescue somebody if they don't want to be rescued.