Gf wants a 'break'

[Malborough]

Hi Everyone,

 

So me and my gf/ex have been at it for a year and a half, probably half of that time long-distance. She's been finishing Uni and

I've been working abroad saving to go back to Uni. It was tricky for both of us but we looked forward to moving to the same city

a month or so from now.

 

Suddenly enough as soon as her exams finished she called to tell me she had been having doubts for some time about the relationship

for a variety of reasons. These included her not being sure she saw a long-term future (she's 22), my politics not being in line with hers

as I'd be slightly right wing, though I care very little about politics, that I'd like to start saving for a house in the near future instead of

splurging on holidays to Thailand, and failing to direct her when I drove with her to move her home from Uni which had her thinking we

might not make it back to hers in time (yep really).

 

These were just some of the pre-prepared reasons she had for wanting to take a 'break' while she goes travelling with her mates for the

next 4 weeks. I kinda just absorbed all this while she told me she likely wouldn't sleep with anyone but wanted to feel free to do so while

she figures out what she wants.

 

I basically went along with this, kinda in a state of shock, as I didn't want to call everything off completely as i'm still head over heels for her

(least when she's not complaining/criticising) but I feel like i'm being played for a fool. It could be that she just isn't feeling it anymore after so long apart

either and just doesn't have it in her to dump me, I don't know.

 

Anyway she offered to meet me if I wanted to talk more and I said I'd think about it. Should I tell her where to go or meet her and see

if things can be picked up when we've moved to the same city?

 

Thanks,

[RedDress]

Hi These included her not being sure she saw a long-term future (she's 22), my politics not being in line with hers

as I'd be slightly right wing, though I care very little about politics, that I'd like to start saving for a house in the near future instead of

splurging on holidays to Thailand, and failing to direct her when I drove with her to move her home from Uni which had her thinking we

might not make it back to hers in time (yep really).

 

,

 

How is this going to change in 4 weeks while she is off maybe (or maybe not) having sex with other people?

 

Is she suddenly going to see a future? Are your politics going to change?

 

I would press her on it.

 

There is no such thing as a "break", IMO.

[boxingguy]

I second what @RedDress said. Taking a break to have sexual relations with other people isn't going to change her mind. If she doesn't realize whether she wants you now or not, that isn't going to change after having a few more men inside her.

 

Sorry, buddy. It just sounds like a lame excuse from her.

[Malborough]

I agree but she's pretty genuine about at least seeing how things go once we're no longer long distance and in the same city. How long that might last I'm not sure.

 

So I could play along while she travels and I can't see her anyway and then see can anything be salvaged. Or should I just force a resolution by meeting up with her before she goes? I've the feeling this would probably end in us going our seperate ways for good.

[shessofly]

Are you saying that if this woman went off and had sex with another man or men during this "break" you would welcome her back with open arms? I don't see that she mentioned long distance in her list of excuses. Even if that were the case you are only a month away from reuniting. She doesn't even want to wait to see how she feels because she already knows what she wants to do. She's not invested in the relationship and is prepping you for a full on break up. She said she had been having doubts for "some time" which means she has already checked out. You are not going to talk her out of this. Sorry.

[CashewNut]

I think it's over mate. This is a girls way of saying she has met someone else. In situations like this girls will come to with a list of justifications as to why the relationship should end or in her words "suspended".

 

Nobody suspends a relationship. It just means it's finished.

 

Sorry mate but best you move on and enjoy your life and give what you have to someone who is now appreciative.

[MissCanuck]

Sorry, OP, but she's in all likelihood not coming back.

 

She needed a list of excuses to break up with you so she could have a grand time while she travels. This is not a girl who is really into you,

[Malborough]

Okay guys appreciate it

[Giblesp]

Hi Everyone,

 

So me and my gf/ex have been at it for a year and a half, probably half of that time long-distance. She's been finishing Uni and

I've been working abroad saving to go back to Uni. It was tricky for both of us but we looked forward to moving to the same city

a month or so from now.

 

Suddenly enough as soon as her exams finished she called to tell me she had been having doubts for some time about the relationship

for a variety of reasons. These included her not being sure she saw a long-term future (she's 22), my politics not being in line with hers

as I'd be slightly right wing, though I care very little about politics, that I'd like to start saving for a house in the near future instead of

splurging on holidays to Thailand, and failing to direct her when I drove with her to move her home from Uni which had her thinking we

might not make it back to hers in time (yep really).

 

These were just some of the pre-prepared reasons she had for wanting to take a 'break' while she goes travelling with her mates for the

next 4 weeks. I kinda just absorbed all this while she told me she likely wouldn't sleep with anyone but wanted to feel free to do so while

she figures out what she wants.

 

I basically went along with this, kinda in a state of shock, as I didn't want to call everything off completely as i'm still head over heels for her

(least when she's not complaining/criticising) but I feel like i'm being played for a fool. It could be that she just isn't feeling it anymore after so long apart

either and just doesn't have it in her to dump me, I don't know.

 

Anyway she offered to meet me if I wanted to talk more and I said I'd think about it. Should I tell her where to go or meet her and see

if things can be picked up when we've moved to the same city?

 

Thanks,

 

 

Well, its all about her isn't it. Could say more but I'll it comes down to is dropping her like a stone. Seriously, dump her like there's no tomorrow and get yourself an upgrade.

[Malborough]

Okay so here's an update on my ed up situation and I'd appreciate any advice offered,

 

I met up with her before she went travelling. I told her I doubted she wanted a break at all given what she'd said

and maybe just didn't have it in her to break up with me. I really pushed it but she insisted that she thought we had a chance,

otherwise she would have ended it outright.

 

Since then she's text me everyday while travelling saying like she doesn't wanna go kissing lads in bars and just wants to

talk to me most of the time.

 

I'd like to believe it but after all the she said before I don't know where we're gonna go realistically. Could be selling

myself short but I wonder if she just wants me handy while she settles into a new city and she'll let me go then.

 

Is it worth seeing how things go when we're together which is her plan or should I cut ties now so I don't get ed

around?

 

Thanks,

[boxingguy]

Okay so here's an update on my ed up situation and I'd appreciate any advice offered,

 

I met up with her before she went travelling. I told her I doubted she wanted a break at all given what she'd said

and maybe just didn't have it in her to break up with me. I really pushed it but she insisted that she thought we had a chance,

otherwise she would have ended it outright.

 

Since then she's text me everyday while travelling saying like she doesn't wanna go kissing lads in bars and just wants to

talk to me most of the time.

 

I'd like to believe it but after all the she said before I don't know where we're gonna go realistically. Could be selling

myself short but I wonder if she just wants me handy while she settles into a new city and she'll let me go then.

 

Is it worth seeing how things go when we're together which is her plan or should I cut ties now so I don't get ed

around?

 

Thanks,

My man... you're giving her too much credit. As if she's emotionally developed enough.

 

You already nailed. She needs you for now as emotional security and insurance in case she doesn't find anything better.

[MissCanuck]

Then what was the point in taking a break if all she wants is you?

 

You're setting yourself up to get hurt again, OP.

[Knight2001]

hi.

my ex askd me for a break. she comlained about me a lot too. whether her intentions were the same (to have sex with other people) i dont know.

if i was you i would give her her break but make it a permanent one. i dont think you would say to her "hey babe can we have a 4 week break so i can go have sex with people". yes that's what it sounds like.

get rid of her, block her, delete her and go NC. you dont need someone like this in your life.

good luck, and i hope you find happiness and do not let this girl treat you like a fool.