Lovelavie Posted June 14, 2017 Share Posted June 14, 2017 I recently broke up with a guy I have been with for 4 months because of our constant fights and him constantly breaking up with me just because he would get angry. On Friday he broke up with me again, but this time because I got mad at him. He yelled at me, called me names, went after me at the bar I was at when I had said a hundred times that I did NOT want to talk to him. Kept calling me on my phone, anyway, he simply went crazy when he saw that him breaking up with me would actually make me leave and accept it this time. Exactly on that day, a guy I had been in love with from 4 years ago was there. We had ended on bad terms, since I wanted to be with him but after 9 months together nothing ever happened so I decided to break up and after a few months started a relationship with someone else. After that he tried contacting me inumerous times but I always ignored. But now, being single, and after 4 years, we saw each other again, by coincidence of being in the same place. He saw everything that happened on the bar between my ex and I. He sat next to me on the table. I was with 2 other friends who were BF and GF, and we started talking. He said he wanted to apologize and clarify things. That he felt bad things ended bad between us, that he didn't mean that and that he had tried to talk to me during those years to meet up with me, but like I said, I always ignored. He was the only guy in my life I actually fell hard for. Not even my ex from last year which was the only guy I ever loved made me fall this hard. I was crazy for this guy and the decision to leave him was because it was hurting so much that I couldn't be with him. Not the way I wanted. We talked for a long time, he apologized for everything, said he should´ve been a man and never let me go because I was amazing but at the time he was afraid I would get back with my ex (we got together a week after I had ended a 3 year relationship and again, he appears in my life during an ending of a relationship) and in minutes all of the feeling I felt for him came back. It was insane, I don't fall easily for people, but the way he made me feel was just... I don't know. It was like I was 19 again, I felt it all coming back. He told me he wanted to go out with me someday, told me I didn't deserve whawt my ex did to me, and that was all. We didn't talk about hooking up again, he was very respectful and I could tell he had grown up (he was 26 back then and is 30 now) Thing is, my ex is begging me back, I never saw him like this, he's crying, he's really upset and I'm starting to feel bad, and to be honest the only reason I didn't go back to him yet is because of this other guy. I cannot get him out of my head, and the urge of talking to him and asking him out. It's like that feeling I thought I knew was buried never really left. I'm so confused on what to do. I feel mean doing this and I've always hated the decision making task, I hate hurting someone's feelings, but I can't help but be extremely undecisive. Link to comment
rosephase Posted June 14, 2017 Share Posted June 14, 2017 Why would you get back together with someone who you've only been with four months and has broken up repeatedly with you? Not mention calling you names and being a jerk to you in a public place? That isn't a relationship. That's just a bunch of drama. If I was you I would take a break from dating instead of jumping into a relationship with someone you don't know. Four years is a long time. You don't know this dude anymore. How about you take some time away from dating and drama? It sounds like you haven't spent much time single and keep getting into bad relationships. Link to comment
Lovelavie Posted June 14, 2017 Author Share Posted June 14, 2017 Yeah, that's exactly what I'm exhausted of. Getting into bad relationships, when all I ever wanted, was a calm, peaceful one, but lately it seems too much to ask for. And that's why I broke up with him, I rarely every break up so for me to get to this point is because I really am tired, tired of drama, tired of getting hurt, tired of trying, I just want a normal relationship. I asked my ex for a break, but he keeps insisting and I just feel bad saying no all the time. Also, about the other guy, I felt like he really hadn't changed much, but either way I felt like taking a chance. It's so hard for me to feel the way I felt towards this guy that I just didn't wanna lose the chance to try... Link to comment
jimthzz Posted June 14, 2017 Share Posted June 14, 2017 Don't ask permission from anyone treating you badly. Just insist on your boundaries. Take some time for self reflection on what you want out of life before jumping right back into a former relationship or a new one. You say you want a normal relationship. Work on finding out what that is and how to get one--before just responding to interest from men in front of you. There is no rush if what you want is a life of happiness. Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted June 14, 2017 Share Posted June 14, 2017 How about you take some time away from dating and drama? It sounds like you haven't spent much time single and keep getting into bad relationships. This ^^^. If you jump into another relationship right now, you'll be taking a whole heap of baggage with you, and you'll just find your relationships getting worse and worse. If someone keeps asking you to be with them, there's no need to feel bad about saying NO. You can be gracious, but firm. If someone's rude and abusive to you, don't engage with it - just walk away. There's nothing wrong with telling someone that you don't think you're suited to each other. If you want a relationship with the right person, you need to BE the right person - and it just doesn't sound like it right now. Link to comment
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