Break Up Put On Hold

[SunnyDayz]

I've felt it coming for a while now... and knew it was just a matter of time until I had to end our relationship. We've been drifting apart for a long time and the relationship isn't giving me what I need... Despite the drifting, I guess she feels that we're fine... (part of the problem, in fact), but I've reached the decision that this needs to end.

 

The problem is that I reached this conclusion in the weeks before she left for her annual vacation in Europe... I didn't want to have "the talk" right before she left and ruin her vacation... but now she's there and texting me and phoning me with the usual (intermittent) affection.

 

I know in my heart that we're done, but I'm trying hard not to let the cat out of the bag while she's there. Still, she can feel that something is off. Do I pretend everything is normal and respond with lots of hearts and "I love you's" as I would normally do? It feels deceitful... and she'd come home thinking everything is great and then have this break-up come from out of the blue.

 

How should I act with her that's respectful and honest... until she returns home to the hard talk we're destined to have?

[goleta805]

Just let her go gently u fool. Ur prolonging the situation. Rip it off like a band aid, it's not fair for u or her. Man up

[SunnyDayz]

Just let her go gently u fool. Ur prolonging the situation. Rip it off like a band aid, it's not fair for u or her. Man up

 

So you're saying you think I should break up with her while she's on the other side of the planet, via email or on a phone call? Sorry, advice rejected. I respect her too much to break up with her and not do it face to face.

[MissCanuck]

No, I would not respond with hearts and "I love you" to her messages, because that will come back to bite you. Unless you're okay with being accused of putting on a front and essentially misleading her, I would not try to pretend that all is well.

 

Look, she is going to sense that something isn't right. And yes, it will hurt her. There is no real away around that. I would wait until she gets back to actually end it, but there is every chance she's going to question you about this before she returns.

[saluk]

I know in my heart that we're done, but I'm trying hard not to let the cat out of the bag while she's there. Still, she can feel that something is off. Do I pretend everything is normal and respond with lots of hearts and "I love you's" as I would normally do? It feels deceitful... and she'd come home thinking everything is great and then have this break-up come from out of the blue.

 

Because it IS deceitful. Your deceit got you into this situation, (though we don't know the details and she may be culpable depending on how hard you have tried to tell her how you have been feeling). Breaking up on the phone while she is on vacation sucks. Pretending everything is OK and dumping it on her as soon as she returns to the rude awakening is worse.

[blindfold]

Break it off over the phone with her, and stop with all this **** that you respect her too much for it - saying I love you without meaning it is a much greater disrespect. This person deserves to know that you no longer feel the same way. What I would do though is talk to her when she comes back and have a conversation face to face. She will have time to recover when she's on holiday and yes, it will maybe ruin it a bit for her but she'll get over it eventually.

[sandy321]

How long is she going to be away for? If it's like 2 weeks.... WAIT.

 

 

 

I'd respond to her, you still respect her like you said.. but cut all the heart emojis and i luv u's. You will make the situation a million times worse.