I'm living in the dark! PLEASE help me out!

[Rain]

I'm fairly young, 16 years of age. All my life I've been living in the shadows, constantly keeping distance with the girls I have interest in. My philosophy in life was that if she found out that I liked her, she'd start to hate me.

 

I'm not popular, but I'm not the least-popular. My self-confidence is in the negatives, and my looks are worse than a broken mirror.

 

My problem is since last year I have been having keep interests in a particular person. Over time I started to notice positive traits about her, and as the time built up, so did my interest. I've always been the shyest person you can possibly think of. I don't talk much, since I have a low self-confidence. Seeking help on the forums here at enotalone.com, I built up the courage to ask her out. When I did, it hit me with full force.

 

I should've known that an awesome person like her doesn't like ugly shy people like me. She said no obviously, but people sometimes say that it's that is the worst that can happen.

 

WRONG! WRONG! WRONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

 

She gave the worst look of disgust on her face and said that she was "Busy" over the weekend. As she walked away I said "Ok" and nodded slowly. I didn't want to force all this pressure on her. She walked away at a surprisingly fast pace and left me alone in the hallway.

 

On the bus home I was beating myself over the head constantly telling myself that was the stupidest thing i have ever done in my life. By the time I got home I was in the most emotional mood I have ever been. I didn't cry however, but it felt like a ton of bricks falling ontop of you, repeatively.

 

Since then our communication has been extremely awkward. As a matter of fact, there is no communication what-so-ever. She never talks to me, she nevers even hints at starting a conversation. Before the encounter, we were acquintances, not really friends. But secretly I admired her so much.

 

Now she keeps shooting these glances at me, but I'm not certain if they are just "He's such an asshole" kind of look or a look of interest. I'm trying to get into a more socialable life, laughing to my friends and meeting new people. I hope she notices me for what I'm trying to accomplish, to become a better person.

 

I don't think she realizes how much I admire her, she has never spoken to me since that innocedent. She must think that I "like" her, but she doesn't know that I "admire" her.

 

She's the most stunningly beautiful person I've ever seen. No model, actress, superstar or singer can even come close to the preciousness she holds. I still like her beyond belief, and I want her to know that more in-depth. I admire her with all my heart.

 

But she has nothing to say about it...

[Staticz09]

Hey man,

Listen, I can relate to your situation. Ive never been the hottest guy in school ,or for that matter, my piers think Im just an average LOOKING guy. These days females (our age) tend to prefer a hot guy with a nice car among other things. So if we dont have either, than were screwed right? WRONG! I've found that if ya dont have the looks or material stuff, you still have a fighting chance! Its your personality that will get you further, anyway . You say that you are quite shy and reclusive, well, you can change that. Not so much your personality, but the way you interact with people can be improved. If you know how to be funny, witty, stupid, loose, and have a good time than people will feel more comfortable around you. When that happens, they seem to start to notice whats inside rather than looks. So thats the first thing. The second thing is to do something off-the-wall for her. If she has any bit of a sense of humor, play on it. I believe that a female appreciates a sense of humor over anything else (besides hygene) C'mon ladies, back me up here! If you do something totally unexpected, such as a flower in her locker or binder (without being stalker-ish) or just find a really nice thing to for her, than it might just work out. Because anyone could ask her out, but only you would be the one to go out of your way to do something positive and kind. If she doesnt respond to that, and blows you off or gets upset, than SHE DOESNT DESERVE YOU!!! You would'nt want to be around someone like that anyways. So give it a shot, if it doesnt work, than you'll just be back where you started, which isnt all that bad. 8)

 

-Statiz09

0X

[cookies]

awww...thats so sad...

 

Im really sorry to hear that you got hurt like that after building up the courage to go up and talk to her, only to be hurt even more. I agree with the poster a bove, and I think u should follow his advice, as it was good advice.

 

ON the other hand, id like to point out a few things about degrading yourself, talking down about ur looks and etc. Dont do that to urself sweetie. You seem to have such a humble, sweet, kind and loving heart, and all of this darkness thats enveloping you, will eventually blow away, but in order for this to happen, you must first take a deep breath and say to urself..."im ready 4 a positive change in my life,...and im going to make a positive change in my life right now."

 

You see, ...we can sumtimes make things as minor as it may seem...like the negative way we feel about ourself,...we can birth it into existence...just as we can with learning to feel good about ourselves. Ive learned that when we constantly live and think negatively towards ourselves or the outcomes in situations, its hard for us to attract an occasional positive thought...and when we do...the negative thoughts outweigh the positive,...and it doesnt thrive in us long enough to make a difference in our circumstances. So, start thinking positive thoughts about urself all the time. When ur having those bad thoughts trying to invade ur consciousness, realize it..and then take charge by thinking positive thoughts.

 

Work out. This puts us in a healthy mental state, as well as physically attractive to the opposite s ex. Women will most defnately take notice of ur body if ur taking good care of urself, and thats just real a ttractive about guys,...no matter how they may "think" they look...

 

Wear nice, clothing. DOnt just throw on an old pair of jeans everyday...sumtimes change it up, and wear something that u like, and that makes u feel good about urself. Good smelling cologne (not too much) is also an attractant to a woman, becuase it sends a signal of a clean, well grooomed man. Cut ur hair, or spike it up ..keep it clean, and neat. Women really like that too...

 

Most importantly..be urself. Do make an attempt to come out of the shyness, by smiling more often. PPL are attracted to other ppl that smile often, and always have a nice word to say. YOu dont have to change overnight, but do make an attempt at it slowly, to beter yourself, because you want to be the BEST you ...that you can...not changing into sumbody else all to impress a lady... Its not healthy for any of us to feel so down on ourselves...when we make a mistake, get up and brush it off, and try at it again...thats a cycle of life...we step out there, sumetmes gettin hurt, but know we gotta keep on going . Dont give up on urself, cuz the best is yet to come..

 

sorry this is so long..but i just wantd to share my thoughts with u. please feel free to send me a private message...

 

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[Rain]

I thank you for all of you advice, I promise it will be put into good use.

 

But now school is ending for the summer and i won't be able to contront her for along time, unless I contront her now. It took me months to build up the courage to ask her out, I can't just build up the courage to talk to her in a matter of days What do I do?

[cookies]

well one thing that ive heard wise ppl say b4, is to stop saying. "I CANT"...thats reflecting back to what i said to u in my earlier post,...thinking negatively...we give birth to these negative thoughts, and wind up actually believing that we cant...so we dont ...but in actuality you CAN...and if u think that, and believe it..you WILL birth into existence...the positive thought that you "CAN" talk to her and before u know it,...u two may start talking more frequently.

 

You dont have to start out shooting for a commitment or relationship, its just like making new friends with any classmate that you admire. TAke it slow, breath and let your courage kick in as you act naturally with her as u would with any other person you come accross. This will be your chance to do 3 wonderful things...start a conversation with her, which could lead to great friendship,...work towards breaking that negative thought pattern, and tapping into that shyness of urs...

 

Dont let rejection be the cause for you to maintain self doubt forever, we all are rejected at one point in our lives..because they are bound to happen. It hurt so bad when we take a leap of faith to tell sumone that we "like them" not knowing how they may react, but its the faith that it takes to make mountains fall..is what helps us overcome the rejections...cuz we wont always be rejected, but we wont know that its possible to overcome this. Its no reason to be down on urself...

 

Just smile and talk casually as any class mates would when school is about to end...ask sum natural questions..like ) > Kat! Hows it going?...are u excited that school almost over?...what are u gonna be doing for the summer? tell her some of ur plans, and maybe even say that you hope that you run into her sumtimes then maybe u can hang out or sumpthin...or even say another day..Do you mind if i called u sumtimes to chitchat, cuz i think ur soo cool?.and smile...

 

i dunno..simple stuff like that can be good conversation starters..

 

dont be shy...and fix urself up cute too haha...just dont over do it...so that its too noticeable..just enough to capture her attention...

 

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