Rain

We tend to think that time has betrays us. Instead, you've betrayed the time that is given to you.

go alone, get more drunk.

Alright so you want to start getting the girls to know you? Everyone of these dances/meetings/whatever you start talking to random girls and trying to get to know them. Eventually they'll start to appreciate that you're opening up. And, taking into account they are in the exact same poisition you are, they need some kind of leverage to upstart a convosation. So get yourself noticed, just act natural and talk about whatever, who cares, just go for it whenever you meet them and get your name known throughout the all girls school

I used to be alot like you are now. I never did anything on weekends, I always came home and surfed/studied. Never had anything interesting to do with my life. Then I considered the same possibility you did, "Maybe I should just step up once in awhile and do new things." So I went to this amazingly huge party, looking for girls in the process. Got drunk and acted like an idiot. Guess what it accomplished? Absolutely nothing. If you're the kind of person who wants a girl who's kind sensitive nice and not crazy, dont think that you'll find them through conventional means of acting "bad." The main concern I think you need to realize is the fact that girls are out there, you shouldn't just sit in your apartment Fridays and Saturdays. Go to a gym, an INCREDIBLE amount of good looking girls go there. If not that, taking up some sort of hobby. Go places, meet people. Never think that you cant talk to a stranger because people say it's "not right." Always ask yourself this, "There's nothing I can lose"

That's a major age difference. But none the less you could still be right for eachother. My advice is to keep it low around the school, because rumours will start most definetly. Make sure when he turns 18 he doesnt do anything stupid. Because if he does, he could get sued for rape even if you're willing to.

you choose whatever girl you want. finding the right girl will be hard in consequence, that's all there is to it really

Keep your thoughts positive, Because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive, Because your words become your behaviors. Keep your behaviors positive, Because your behaviors become your habits. Keep your habits positive, Because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive, Because your values become your destiny. - Mahatmi Ghandi You cant just live your life saying to yourself that your insignificant in front of other people. You have to actually raise your self-confidence and say to yourself ("im not afraid to be who i am no matter the concequences") I came from a really strict family, which means that im not allowed much freedom when it comes to social gatherings and parties, etc. I must admit im not the greatest girl getter but i know for a fact the overwhelming sensation of being left out. Dude seriously, it took me 4 years of painstaking philosophy...lying in my bed listening to music and thinking just to get where I am, so bare with me here... You cannot gain pure noticablility through any form of exclusion, self-deprivity, or suffering. The only way you will be admired most as a human being is to actually BE HAPPY and not fake it. You should be happy in the first place even though you are not with "kara". You should express the happiness all around you, do not fake it at all. If you see her talking to 2 dudes or whatever go up to her and get into the convosation. thereforeeee: You present self-confidence, good social traits, positive thinking and wit. IE Attractive to women, am i not right? Next time you think you're being played or whatever, go up to her and start a convosation about....oh i don't know...."politics". Do not whatever you do throw up your arms and yell in retribution whenever you think you're being insignificant. So dude, my whole post summed up into one sentence "Be happy, act happy, show her the best you can be...brace yourself for whatever outcome is plausible because if you dont you'll be subjected to pain again."

Well from what i'm getting is that you're not getting enough hints to make a judgement whether she likes you or not. I think that your small convosations should sprout into much more interesting convosations. If you can find time after school and approach her. Talk to her about anything, sports, weather, or maybe compliment her hair or clothes. Just find something a girl would listen to. Be yourself and have a high confidence. Just talk and you'll figure it out

Try an indirect approach, causally ask her out. Like: "Would you like to catch a movie" or "Want to grab something to eat?" Continously do that, she'll get the idea that you like her soon enough. But that's just on the safe side. If you want to take a bet and see if she's willing to go out with you try any way you please. Bon chance, mon ami.

Hi, Although my link removed account has little posts, I've shared my thoughts and advices to so many people in link removed, link removed and link removed. I've helped a 13 year old kid stop himself from suicide, I've helped people develop relationships, and cope with themselves afterwards. I've put up philosophical debates about God, existence and our biological attractions to the opposite sex. But I've never really stopped to think about myself for a long, long time. Several years ago on link removed I posted this -> link removed To me this is an important part of who I am. Being rejected by somebody I considered to be "The One" was painful as ripping our your heart. But if soon told myself to get over it, it's definetly not the worst situation in the world (it isn't) and I shouldn't continously go after some girl who thinks she's better than me and completely lowers me to a bad social level. (Walked away when pouring my heart out) Now by this point you're all saying "Why would you be that emotional over a simple rejection that long ago?" Well schools started again, I'm finishing off my last year and I'm seeing her again. She's in my philosophy class and I guess that will open some intellectual debates between us too I really want to forget her completely and go onwards with my life. I've already had a girlfriend in the past (not much of one, she never kissed me or talked often) but for some reason this "so called too good for me" girl is like ringing church bells for me. I'd do anything to get it out of my head. It's time to stop and reflect now, but I would like your help/comments/suggestions if you're up for it. Thanks very much & appreciated -Rain

Hello, There are numerous reasons why "Sean" could be acting like this. The personal matters you guys talked about might've triggered a spark which, in-turn, made him become angry. Another possibility is that deep down, he could find you somewhat attractive and blames you for going out with another guy. There are so many reasons, but the main reason is that you find out yourself. Approach sean and ask him if everything is alright. Be very gentle and honest when you're saying it, dont pressure him into responding by saying something like, "Sean what the hell is wrong with you?" "Got beef?" If he continously is angry offer help, but if he declines there's nothing much you can do. Besides, what's a good friend who is angry all the time? Try to figure out what's in sean's mind. Peace

Hey, Ok let me first off tell you that one of my dumbest mistakes I've ever done in my life so far is probably ask out a girl that I find attractive in class WITHOUT even getting to know her or talk to her. Going up out of the blue is a majorly serious risk. Chances are she'll reject you since she doesn't know you well and reconiciles that your intentions are only for your own. (Not talking relates some selfishness/cowardice) Now that you know how important it is to talk, let me tell you that having a convosation with girls takes time. I'm not James Bond, I'm still shy around some but I'm openning up a little more. A really good idea would to approach her and discuss the class you are in. At the end of the convosation, offer to get together and study sometime. Keep it casual, dont be nervous, always smile and be the best you can be. But you dont need to discuss school, discuss other things she might be keen and interested in. It's totally up to you now-> knowing what to say can't be fed to you unfortuantely. If she opens up and talks casually, then persue a friendship relationship which could lead to something else If she doesnt open up, keep trying being her friend. But seriously dude, if you take rejection as hard as I took it you'll wish you were dead. Just say to yourself, "If I really wanted I could get somebody better than this" and you will Peace

Hey Meagan, It's late and I'm just a regular surfer on the net. Your post in particular caught my attention. I was extremely surprised that your "friend" is hitting you more than one time and you're allowing him to go with it. Maybe it's because of your affection with him, maybe not. But truth the matter is that you are (whether you like it or not) being abused by people who think they can violate your space whenever they want to. It was right of you to forgive, it's our moral obligation as human beings to see potential in every person. But the fact that your "friend" is hitting more than one time is making me consider whether you should continue forgiving him. It upsets me that a 14 year old girl is being pushed around from her father and her friend physical. Meagan I think it's time you stood up for what you believe. You say to your father and your friend that you do not want to be treated like that ever again. You'll catch their attention. If they persue their abuse plain and simple = "GET HELP" Do not stand around and take the hits. It's alot more serious than you think. In this case your priorities as a human being come first. Stand your ground and up for what you believe in. As for your "Friend" ... Hitting you doesnt make him much of a friend now does he? Reconsider your relationship with him. Picture yourself 20 years down the road with him...what do you see? Ciao

It doesnt take a FEW rejections by girls to feel depressed, it only takes one. Believe me, I know. You build up all this self confidence over YEARS and in an instant they tell you to F*** off and you feel like killing yourself. (Ya, and that's not the worst that can happen right?)

luvmeluvmenot, i sent you a pm, you can read it if you want

I thank you for all of you advice, I promise it will be put into good use. But now school is ending for the summer and i won't be able to contront her for along time, unless I contront her now. It took me months to build up the courage to ask her out, I can't just build up the courage to talk to her in a matter of days What do I do?

I'm fairly young, 16 years of age. All my life I've been living in the shadows, constantly keeping distance with the girls I have interest in. My philosophy in life was that if she found out that I liked her, she'd start to hate me. I'm not popular, but I'm not the least-popular. My self-confidence is in the negatives, and my looks are worse than a broken mirror. My problem is since last year I have been having keep interests in a particular person. Over time I started to notice positive traits about her, and as the time built up, so did my interest. I've always been the shyest person you can possibly think of. I don't talk much, since I have a low self-confidence. Seeking help on the forums here at enotalone.com, I built up the courage to ask her out. When I did, it hit me with full force. I should've known that an awesome person like her doesn't like ugly shy people like me. She said no obviously, but people sometimes say that it's that is the worst that can happen. WRONG! WRONG! WRONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! She gave the worst look of disgust on her face and said that she was "Busy" over the weekend. As she walked away I said "Ok" and nodded slowly. I didn't want to force all this pressure on her. She walked away at a surprisingly fast pace and left me alone in the hallway. On the bus home I was beating myself over the head constantly telling myself that was the stupidest thing i have ever done in my life. By the time I got home I was in the most emotional mood I have ever been. I didn't cry however, but it felt like a ton of bricks falling ontop of you, repeatively. Since then our communication has been extremely awkward. As a matter of fact, there is no communication what-so-ever. She never talks to me, she nevers even hints at starting a conversation. Before the encounter, we were acquintances, not really friends. But secretly I admired her so much. Now she keeps shooting these glances at me, but I'm not certain if they are just "He's such an asshole" kind of look or a look of interest. I'm trying to get into a more socialable life, laughing to my friends and meeting new people. I hope she notices me for what I'm trying to accomplish, to become a better person. I don't think she realizes how much I admire her, she has never spoken to me since that innocedent. She must think that I "like" her, but she doesn't know that I "admire" her. She's the most stunningly beautiful person I've ever seen. No model, actress, superstar or singer can even come close to the preciousness she holds. I still like her beyond belief, and I want her to know that more in-depth. I admire her with all my heart. But she has nothing to say about it...

Welcome to my world.

Talking to guys is really easy. Just be yourself when talking. It might be about anything (school work, events, ideas) Just strike up a conversation. Some guys however are real jerks and wont carry a conversation. If a guy hints to you that he doesnt want to continue the conversation, stop and avoid an interaction with him in the future. (Try a few times though, since we might be having a bad day ) We like to laugh alot so if you have a good sense of humour or any good joke is a good start for conversation. Personally, I would find that carrying a conversation with girls is extremely more difficult, but i guess it's enevitable in our positions in life, for the both of us. Don't become obsessed with wanting a boyfriend, it could start spreading rumours around school. (Trust me, I know a girl who underwent the same situation) Just relax and remember to smile alot

First off, don't call him gay. The man has a low self-esteem already. Now, if the guy's nice to you and makes you feel special, why the hell would you dump him? What? Because of his looks, are they not good enough for you? Looks aren't everything, so you should focus to judge him by his inner soul. If you can't stand him because you think he's "ugly" then you will have a hard time finding the right guy later on in life. Trust me, this personal trait can bring the worst out of people. Get to know him before you judge him. Maybe he's a loner and has a low self-esteem because people judge him before getting to know him. Don't contribute to that fact. As for the suicide part, tell his friends that they should not commit suicide just because they are 'friends', and that commiting suicide won't solve anything, it'll only make matters worse in life. (If they what difference would it make, say things that his/her family will miss them and the school will as well, and if he isn't satifisied, tell them that you will miss him/her, even though you are not close) Also, tell his friends not to make the wrong judgement in life and end it early just because one thing didn't work out the way they thought would. It happens all the time, so tell them not to self-center on this issue specifically. Now, back to the guy you're seeing. He sounds nice, and if he's nice to you, what are you complaining about? Think about the other people who have relationships and the guy treats the girl like dirt. Consider yourself lucky, not cursed. Get to know him more in depth, despite your first intentions.

Then make your decisions yourself. You keep saying that you can't find the motivation or the determination to keep an active lifestyle. If you truly do want change in your life, and for the better, you should start thinking of new possibilities that would benefit your future self. Acting lazy wont get you anywhere, believe me. I've seen alot of people who have failed at life because they were not getting the motivation that strives them in life. I used to be similiar like that, until I realized that no other source would benefit that 'determination' other than my own self. Personally, I don't want you ending up like my uncle, who is out of a job and is poor on money. Why? Because he wasn't motivated, wasn't influenced, and wasn't planned out in his life. If you truly want change, you'll find the motivation yourself, and you'll find the act of planning out a life yourself. It's hard, but it is possible. Go outside and spend sometime with other people. And over a duration of time, build a relationship with friends. It's not easy, but it can be done. It's the act of choosing the right group, one that will highlight your existence. One that will boast your self-confidence. If none of this is sinking in, it's because you don't want it too. You keep talking about that it cannot suite your own lifestyle. Fact is, that it can. But you simply don't want it to. On the outside, you want enhancement, but on the inside...well that's a whole new story... You should at least try and be someone better in life, this starts with a plan. It doens't matter how bad or good you are at making plans, "Just Do It!" You should also try to build some self-confidence. Build some motivation. At least build SOMETHING. Something that will at least make yourself a better person. Don't end up like my uncle. After all, is that not what you want?

Because you don't want it to. It may not seem true, but overall people's subconscience is their own creation. It may not be the highlighted voice overall, but fact is that's it's there. It's a background noise sent to give us a sense of a possible outcome or circumstance. If you want motivation to change your life, you have the ability to change that. Not god, me, or even your closest friends can help this. It's only you that can change this. You decide what's best for yourself. You decide what path you want to walk, and which you want to avoid. You decide what life should mean to you. If you truly believe in yourself and her, you'll find your own motivation, since nobody else is influencing you on your own part. This is your life. Enjoy it while it lasts.

This is uncertainty, but this guy does sound very shy. Shyness is just waiting for someone to tell you that you're ok. Talk to him, because he does not want to face the confrontation by himself. Overall, I also agree with Birdman, that

Welcome to my world. First thing you've got to do is to get to know her. Learn more about her and get her to know more about you. Increase your relationship over a duration of time...

First off, my advice is not bull. Now as regarding your motivation. Fact is that you cannot surround yourself from the only source of motivation that you think exists. Theres is tons of other oppertunities around that you need to go and explore. Now, I'm not suggesting 100% to let it go, but I am suggesting change. Look, you cannot live your live day-in and day-out with the burden of self-derespect just because you think it suites your lifestyle. As confusing at it sounds, it's conclusion can be based on the fact that you simply want to finish what you've started out with. You've started writing the book and now you want her to finish it. Fact it that the book needs some self-commitment, motivation and self-confidence, all personal traits that you must gain in order to exceed the publisher. Love will not solve all your problems. At times, it only begins them. Think outside the looking glass and express all the oppertunities that you could have. If you still cannot decide if you're fit for that, take decisive action. Communicate with her, call her up and start a friendly conversation. If she rejects you without you even making a move, then unfortunately I must say that you must move on. I know it's difficult to say, but if she doesn't love you, whats the point of a lose cause? Sorry man, really am. It hurts, I know. It's your choice to make a difference in your life. Gain motivation from YOURSELF, not others. Because many others work from the motivation from themselves, and succeed. Don't be weak, you're 16 and have the whole world ahead of you. If you want to face the world with the security and self-commitment that it expects of you, act now. Don't wollow in self pity, it's only half of you talking. That's not all of that makes up of yourself. I guarentee it.