Been going alone at this breakup for few months need 2 talk, ex gf got new bf

[sleeplessinusa]

Hi, initially didn't want to join any forums since was afraid the ex gf might see it. But it's been a rough 3 months of a break up. I don't know if anyone reads this but i will keep it short as possible but please any possible insight would be great. Is there a chance, what is going on, never felt this pain.

 

Was with ex gf for a lil over a year. Great beginning, then i became complacent, sometimes during times of stress i'd be distant or not very nice. We had the great bond and talks about being soul mates, babies, etc during the course of relationship. She was insecure always wondering if i was with other women if not with her. I never cheated.

 

She checked my phone and found no cheating texts but dumb group chat guy talk with my buddies etc, really stupid locker room talk that we would never act on. She confronted me, i lash out we argued. Things ended. That was 3 months ago

 

 

Month 1.

I was blocked from her social media and all photos of me/us started gradually deleted from her social media....and at this stage i read a billion articles online and youtube channels of coreywayne/craigkenneth etc. and do NC

 

I'm unblocked and reblocked again

 

 

Month 2.

After 2 months I broke NC, i couldn't take it. she's always wanted my attention and me chasing her so i figured it, nothing to lose and i sent a small text of saying i miss her .. I get no reply ... and i haven't reached out since

 

Few day later she posted up that she was in a relationship with another guy via facebook.

 

Few days after that she hangs out with a mutual friend and tells our mutual friend she misses me while crying. (so that was shocking)

 

Her social media has been quiet during month 2, which was peculiar because figured she'd keep consistently posting about her new bf but no signs yet just that one FB relationship post.

 

 

Month 3.

I keep posting photos of myself staying busy and productive in my life. She might've saw it and reblocks me again.

 

Finally she posts up a photo of them 2 , looking very happy.... (which obviously destroyed me.)

 

 

and now i'm here. online just trying to keep sane. What do you think? Done forever? miss her so much. The main thing that is killing me is that if we both sat back, realized some things and gave it a second chance rather than her jumping into a new relationship a month after so fast... what are your thoughts in general and thoughts on reconcile in future?

[melancholy123]

Block her on all social media so you aren't wasting your time and emotions checking up on what she's doing. Give yourself a chance to get over her then get back out there and find a new girl.

[Fracturedheart]

Hey buddy,

 

I know exactly what you're going through. I am going through something similar and it's painful to say the least. All I can say is some days you will be fine and other days your heart sinks. I'm currently going through this myself and I'll admit it's a struggle but I'm still getting by as best as I can.

 

From what you said and how quick you said she was in a new relationship it sounds like it's a rebound to me. Just because she posted a happy pic of them to doesn't mean anything.

 

Just continue doing NC, eventually she will reach out to you.

[Tomthumb88]

Let her go and get on with your life. If it's met to be she'll be back but there is nothing to do to force it. If it's not ment to be at least your living you life and not living in a self imposed prision

[LonelyJedi]

Same thing happened to me man...

 

My ex-fiance left me at the end of March and got a new BF last week sometime... it was literally LESS THAN TWO MONTHS since she called off our 5yr relationship and engagement. I had the honeymoon booked and everything for later this year. She moved out the next day, started doing a complete PURGE of social media. Every shred of me started disappearing, untagging, etc. I had to unfriend her, due to her posting pictures of herself partying & drinking (things she didn't like doing) literally the day after she left. Once I found out about her BF, I blocked her completely. I have not seen her since she moved out, didn't beg or anything. Haven't heard a peep from her either, since she left.

 

This isn't a competition of "who is happier than who"... block her on all social media and don't look back. Believe me man, I know it's hard. Keep yourself distracted and DON'T BE ALONE! You'll drive yourself nuts and start spinning wrong things. If she really wants to contact you and does miss you as she claims, she will reach out to you if & when she is ready.

 

She is no longer your responsibility.

[sleeplessinusa]

i did strict NC right after and i'm always second guessing myself...should i have chase or said something after the break up, this or that. showed more initiative etc..

 

 

I know i know... move on, i understands thats always the right go to saying. I tried, went out on a few dates, but found no substance or connection so it makes it harder to move on...

 

I mean the main thing that kind of gave me hope during the past few months was the interaction between her and the mutual friend... she said she missed and loved and cried during the process... they spent a few hours together all she did was vent and talked about me etc...so i thought wow she got a new bf and still she's talking bout me on her mind...but i guess it really didn't mean much...

[sleeplessinusa]

Same thing happened to me man...

 

My ex-fiance left me at the end of March and got a new BF last week sometime... it was literally LESS THAN TWO MONTHS since she called off our 5yr relationship and engagement. I had the honeymoon booked and everything for later this year. She moved out the next day, started doing a complete PURGE of social media. Every shred of me started disappearing, untagging, etc. I had to unfriend her, due to her posting pictures of herself partying & drinking (things she didn't like doing) literally the day after she left. Once I found out about her BF, I blocked her completely. I have not seen her since she moved out, didn't beg or anything. Haven't heard a peep from her either, since she left.

 

This isn't a competition of "who is happier than who"... block her on all social media and don't look back. Believe me man, I know it's hard. Keep yourself distracted and DON'T BE ALONE! You'll drive yourself nuts and start spinning wrong things. If she really wants to contact you and does miss you as she claims, she will reach out to you if & when she is ready.

 

She is no longer your responsibility.

 

 

I'm really sorry to hear that man. That sounds devastating. I hope all is well as can be. so you guys have had no contact at all for the last few months?

[sleeplessinusa]

Hey buddy,

 

I know exactly what you're going through. I am going through something similar and it's painful to say the least. All I can say is some days you will be fine and other days your heart sinks. I'm currently going through this myself and I'll admit it's a struggle but I'm still getting by as best as I can.

 

From what you said and how quick you said she was in a new relationship it sounds like it's a rebound to me. Just because she posted a happy pic of them to doesn't mean anything.

 

Just continue doing NC, eventually she will reach out to you.

 

 

I'm sorry to hear that too man. You've had no contact at all on your end as well? hope things get better man.

[MissCanuck]

What was the locker room talk she saw on this group chat, exactly?

 

What looks like silly banter to you might have looked like evidence of something much worse to her. What was your contribution to these chats with your buddies?

 

I'm just trying to get an understanding of her mindset, based on what she specifically read. It's hard to say if she over-reacted (and thus might eventually come looking for you) or if she was justifiably hurt (and probably won't come looking for you again) without knowing more context.

[SooSad33]

She was insecure always wondering if i was with other women if not with her. I never cheated.

- Fact No. 1..... If one does not 'trust' the other one, it won't work.

 

Being distant and not very nice.. is on you.

 

Time to work on accepting this is done. And is best to STOP following her. Stop all interactions, attempts to contact, etc.

 

No matter if she responds or not, it's just going to fail again.

 

So- time to work on YOU now. Work on accepting it's done ( Im sorry). Work on your healing and letting it all go.

Nothing would ever work out when neither of you are working on improving what broke you up.

 

Too much damage now, I'd say..... sorry for your loss it is painful and hard to accept, after a BU.

This stuff happens.. and sucks!

[Fracturedheart]

I'm sorry to hear that too man. You've had no contact at all on your end as well? hope things get better man.

 

Yeah, no contact for 4 months and every excuse she gave me as to why it wouldn't work out with me, she threw out the window and worked it out with her new guy

[LonelyJedi]

I'm really sorry to hear that man. That sounds devastating. I hope all is well as can be. so you guys have had no contact at all for the last few months?

 

Not a word... I imagine she has created this false reality in her head that demonizes me.