rukspc Posted May 31, 2017 Share Posted May 31, 2017 Hello friends near and far, I met a wonderful guy through mutual friends over a year and a half ago at a concert. At first, I wasn’t attracted and only had a short conversation with him after the concert, in which we talked about music and politics. I thought nothing of the conversation, but apparently he was “spellbound” by me (according to our friends). Fast forward to this year in February, after a night of karaoke and drinks, something clicked and I gave him my number. Since that night about 4 months ago, we have been talking almost every day about everything and the conversations never run dry - politics, music, philosophy, religion - you name it. We even talk on the phone late into the night (!) which is tough to come by in this day and age of online dating. Until a few weeks ago, we’d only gathered in groups to meet. Our first two dates were about a week ago within five days and we stayed out all night talking together. Tis true what they say about finding someone when you least expect it. In the past few months, I’ve gotten to know him better. He is kind, ambitious, driven, steadfast, witty, smart, independent, thoughtful and caring. I believe our compatibility is strong, our values are the same and best of all, it feels so easy to be myself. He is truly a great person and someone I never saw coming. Aside from all of these wonderful, fantastic traits, I have one reservation - I am not sure about how I feel about dating someone who is the same race as me. It is quite strange of me to say, but I believe it comes from my upbringing and my mother’s biases against other ethnicities that are deemed “dirty”, “culturally backwards", “barbaric” or “savaged”. My guy and I are both Southeast Asian but different ethnicities, if that makes sense. I have only ever dated other races in the past because I always had a reason for never dating an Asian guy and never really had an attraction to them. All my life, my mother scoffed at the idea of her daughters dating or marrying someone Asian because of the horrible experiences she went through with my father (i.e. physically and verbally abusive). She doesn't want the same thing to happen to me and generalizes Asian men as if they will all end up like my father. I also think she has a superiority complex that drives her to think the way she does, which is something I do not value at all. I respect other people’s cultures and traditions despite what my mother says. I try not to take what she says personally but I've thought about her comments a lot lately. It’s kind of clouded my judgement and I'm coming off as prejudice for no reason other than that he belongs to that specific ethnic group. I'm also easily influenced and I don't want that to get in the way if we end up becoming exclusive partners. For me, my intuition tells me something different. I see him as a person. He is someone who truly cares and makes an effort to be in my life. I haven't had that in a really long time. It almost seems unreal. I really like him, but I don't want to have these negative thoughts dictate my real feelings. Am I being too insecure of how people will perceive me if we become exclusive? What should I do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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