My ex boyfriend is ignoring my texts

[MissCanuck]

In OP's other threads, it's very clear her ex does not want any contact from her.

 

Sending a letter is not a smart idea in this context.

[MyLifeMyChoice]

a letter is just going to reinforce that she has low value and he's free to keep her on the back burner. Walking away is her best option for multiple reasons at this point. A letter might be ok had she been walking away for quite some time but it appears she's been on him the whole time.

 

This...times 100.

 

I've had two ex-boyfriends contact me and plead to come back when I just really wanted to be left alone to think (two separate occasions, of course).

 

One wrote a letter, which made me feel even worse because of the guilt. It didn't increase my desire to get back together with him, but actually lowered his value. At the same time, it might've been already too late but the time he gave me the letter. All my romantic feelings were already gone, and there wasn't anything that would've changed my mind, unless he changed his behavior, which was impossible.

 

The second one texted me twice a month for about a year, just to say hi, and it did annoy me because I could tell he just couldn't move on. Then he texted me that he missed me, and that's the time I had to be honest with him and tell him that it hurt me that he was hurting because I cared about him (which is true), but I couldn't give him what he wanted. So I asked for no contact from him so he could move on with his life. He continued for a bit after, but less so, I didn't mind it, because I did care about him. When he realized I wasn't going back or his communication didn't change my mind, he eventually stopped. It's been a year since we last communicated, and once in a while, I think about him and wonder what he's up to. Sometimes I think about getting back together with him, too. But because I know how much I hurt him and how he kept contacting me when I said not to, I'm hesitant to contact him because I don't want him to get the wrong impression. He's someone I know I could be friends with, but the guilt is stopping me from reaching out.

 

The point is, if you want your ex to see you as a high value person, stop contacting them, especially after they've already told you to do so. If my 2nd ex had, who knows...I could've reached out to them by now.

[Serina]

Have some self-respect, and stop chasing him.

[johnnydanger]

Send the letter OP. If it doesn't yield any results, at least you tried. A lot of the people on this thread telling you not to are just jaded from bad experiences thus their overwhelming pessimism. It's almost depressing listening to some, and not much wonder why their relationships failed.

[Tomthumb88]

I hear you.. it is like that on here. I wrote my ex had reached out and I got like 30 replies that I need to ignore her and it's all false hope. Regardless If we ever get back together she needed my help and she's not a villain to run from.

Anyway.. I still think in the case she needs to let the guy breath. Maybe work on herself for 2 or 3 months and then send a letter

[Lightjocj]

I feel like I cant. I just want him back. Is there no advice on how to do this

 

Ok, if I give you advice will you take it? No matter how hard it is to do? Because my advice is easy, you just have to follow it. STOP...the easiest advice is also the hardest to do. You keep asking what to do, so that's what you do, you stop. You feel as though you have to act upon something, as if you have to wave a flag to get his attention . He already has it, and he will have it without you doing a single thing ...he has to decide that he wants to talk to you ..if he blocked you it's because your becoming to much..and you chasing him is normal btw after a breakup..the more you push the more he will run. ..confidence = attraction ..you need to be confident in who you are about yourself ..anything less is a turn off. You need to do this for yourself first, then him. He's not going to forget about you...but you need to try and take a step back. When HES ready he will come around ..untill then you just need to keep doing your own thing...

[MissCanuck]

Send the letter OP. If it doesn't yield any results, at least you tried. A lot of the people on this thread telling you not to are just jaded from bad experiences thus their overwhelming pessimism. It's almost depressing listening to some, and not much wonder why their relationships failed.

 

Have you bothered to read OP's previous threads on this?

[No1]

JohnnyDanger: Of course its based on personal and observational experiences. It wouldnt be fair to respond to a question regarding kids if you have none yourself. By having relationships that have failed is the best and hardest way to learn. How can a person who married their first love ever give advice on how to heal from a break up? Granted this site is free and there is going to be a variety of advice and from different points of view. It is up to the OP to decide for themselves what is best. Altho break ups are different, they all share simularities and all have a common trait(s). Sadness, confusion, low esteem, loss.

In this case the OP is asking how to win her X back. This X has blocked all avenues of communications, does not want to speak to the X. Does not want to be with the X, does not want a friendship or anything that resembles that. The guy has gone to many lengths and efforts to sever all ties. Yet the OP still wants to maintain that link, wants to keep that avenue open and making up the excuse of wanting to "explain" as justification for talking to him. However, the X has moved on, doesnt care anymore because he is on another path in life. I mentioned before that chasing him will only validate and strengthen his resolve. Ive been on both sides of this. Been the dumper and the dumpee and in a situation and I can tell you that if I went thru all that trouble to cut all ties to an X, all a letter will do upset me.

Im not saying that a letter wont be absolutely usless, but I think the odds of helping are about he same as a shark getting out of the water and catching 2 bus transfers to attack me. I think in this case, what the OP has to do is let him come to her. Because if he does (odds are long) then it would be on his own free will and that means its genuine.

OP, if you want to send a letter, then go for it, knock yourself out. But what you are doing is giving in and rewarding yourself only to have pain and worry and stress if he read it, will he reply, and that is added stress.

Whatever the OP wants, good luck, but remember his actions say Leave me alone

[Lightjocj]

JohnnyDanger: Of course its based on personal and observational experiences. It wouldnt be fair to respond to a question regarding kids if you have none yourself. By having relationships that have failed is the best and hardest way to learn. How can a person who married their first love ever give advice on how to heal from a break up? Granted this site is free and there is going to be a variety of advice and from different points of view. It is up to the OP to decide for themselves what is best. Altho break ups are different, they all share simularities and all have a common trait(s). Sadness, confusion, low esteem, loss.

In this case the OP is asking how to win her X back. This X has blocked all avenues of communications, does not want to speak to the X. Does not want to be with the X, does not want a friendship or anything that resembles that. The guy has gone to many lengths and efforts to sever all ties. Yet the OP still wants to maintain that link, wants to keep that avenue open and making up the excuse of wanting to "explain" as justification for talking to him. However, the X has moved on, doesnt care anymore because he is on another path in life. I mentioned before that chasing him will only validate and strengthen his resolve. Ive been on both sides of this. Been the dumper and the dumpee and in a situation and I can tell you that if I went thru all that trouble to cut all ties to an X, all a letter will do upset me.

Im not saying that a letter wont be absolutely usless, but I think the odds of helping are about he same as a shark getting out of the water and catching 2 bus transfers to attack me. I think in this case, what the OP has to do is let him come to her. Because if he does (odds are long) then it would be on his own free will and that means its genuine.

OP, if you want to send a letter, then go for it, knock yourself out. But what you are doing is giving in and rewarding yourself only to have pain and worry and stress if he read it, will he reply, and that is added stress.

Whatever the OP wants, good luck, but remember his actions say Leave me alone

 

👆 What he said ..