What is she thinking about?

[Vitkacy]

Hello, I found this forum some time ago and it has greatly contributed to me getting over my recent breakup. Unfortunately it was not the end of my problems with my now ex-girlfriend.

 

Maybe I'll start from the beginning. I was in a relationship with a girl for half a year, the story was not different from hundreds of other ones. It was great at first and then the girl started losing confidence without contacting me about that, because she claimed she was afraid (she unfortunatelly suffers from depression). Next she breaks up with me few months ago, and all this was really hard. We've made some mistakes, argued, but in the end decided to stay in contact. It was surprisingly nice, maybe there even was a chance of reconciliation, we've been really caring towards each other, we've been meeting, making plans for the future. Some time ago however, she suddenly became cold and harsh. I decided to stay by her, as I realised her behavior may be an effect of her illness. Time has passed and she stayed the same or even became worse, like I literally have naver before experienced that y side of her and it was a surprise. So few weeks ago I thought that I'm done, that I tried to be all nice and stuff but she is clearly rejecting me. I stopped contacting her and this is when all the 'fun' starts. Few days later her friend (!) is messaging me that I need to leave her alone, that she is so annoyed because of me. First of all, why didn't my ex herself say that to me? Why is she sending her friend against me instead? Second - I've literally just recently stopped contacting her, I was like what the heck is wrong with her. I've nearly instantly messaged my ex about it and she was of course behaving like this was all my fault. I've told her that I'm forgetting about her and that she should forget about me too, I've wished her good luck, you know, the usual things. I thought that the problem is solved but to my surprise - it wasn't. Few days later she is calling me in the late evening, when I was meeting my friends, asking if I have any cigarette to spare (!). She was probably drunk, so I declined and hung up. That is not the end of course. Then, another few days later she is sending me a snap that my head is full of (!). I couldn't resist and responded asking if she was looking for attention - no response from her. Since that day she's been reminding me of herself constantly by screenshotting my snaps and all the other stupid childish things. So now I'm sitting and posting this thread, wondering what is the purpose of her behavior? What is she thinking? Why couldn't she just chill or message me if she struggles with forgetting about me?

[WombatShadow]

She's yanking your chain and watching to see if you dance like a puppet. Just because she doesn't want you anymore doesn't mean that she doesn't want your attention. It seems to be working, by the way: you stop texting her, she gets her friend to yell at you so you come talk to her; you stop talking to her again, she calls in the middle of the night for cigarettes and you answer her; you still have her on Snapchat, she screenshots all of your Snaps.

 

Do you enjoy being played like this? If not, you need to block her number and delete her from Snapchat and other social media. Once you've done that up, she won't be able to bother you. If she REALLY wants to reconcile and not just yank your chain, she'll find a way to contact you.