May10 Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 My ex broke up with me last Wednesday. Everything was normal so it was a big surprise for me. We have been dating for almost two years. Last September, he decided to move out of New York and move to Hawaii. Before his move we discussed to continue our relationship because we both loved each other. I was going to move at by the end of 2017. We agreed that if we think long distance is not working out, I will move to Hawaii immediately and if I cannot find job there we will move to California (I am on h1 visa so it's hard to switch job). We were talking about moving together, buying an apartment in Hawaii and getting married. I have meet his family and travel with them. Since he couldn't take time off from new job for 6 months, I have been visiting him frequently. I went with him in September to help him move. I looked up apartments, scheduled appointment and helped him organize his apartment. Since he was busy with work, I stayed two week and bought everything for the apartment (except bed) because for me it was my apartment too...I was planning to move there in a year. Then I visited him in December for Christmas and New Years and stayed there two weeks. I recently went in March with my family. So this time it was his turn to visit NY, he was supposed to come this Thursday. But he called me last Wednesday and said that he is not coming and he wants to break up. He said he hasn't been happy recently and think it's not working out. I was in shock because till that phone call, we were having normal conversation...discussing how our day went, saying love you and miss you etc. I asked him if he doesn't want long distance then I can try to move immediately and he said he doesn't want to continue and it won't change anything. I asked him if he found somebody else, he said no. I asked him if he doesn't love me anymore the same way and he said he still loves me but that doesn't mean the relationship will work. Recently we had some arguments and I complained about long distance because of the 6 hour time difference and him not calling me on time. So I asked if that was the reason then he doesn't have to call me often. He said that was not the reason. I asked him to give us one more chance because we never had a big fight or argument before, he said that there is nothing to change to make it work...I have been great, there is no 3rd person involved so nothing for us to work on. He said I deserve someone better and someone that can be there with me physically. He said he still wants to be friend but not to keep in contact in the beginning. We said goodbye to each other and I cried the whole night. It was his birthday this weekend, and I had ordered him gifts before the break up so he messaged me on Friday saying thank you for the gift and sorry for hurting me and if I need to talk I can call him anytime. I really missed him so I called him. I asked him the reason that it went from moving in with someone and buying an apartment together to 100% sure breaking up in one phone call. I asked if he was stressed from work or he needed some time to think and we can talk about us after few weeks or month. He said he is 100% sure that it's over and doesn't need time to think and wants me to move on. I requested him to meet me once, I was willing to fly down to Hawaii just to see him even for 5 minutes to say our goodbye in person. He said no because that's not going to change anything and I told him I understand that but he means a lot to me and I just wanted to see him once in person before I can move on peacefully, and after investing so much time I don't want our last contact to be a phone call. He said it's been only two days from break up and it would get better. He doesn't want to see me right now, and I should try to understand that it's very hard for him, he needs some time and space. So I told him that he should also understand how I am feeling and if he ever loved me me then if I give him some time, he is willing to meet me once. He initially said no but eventually he said he will consider it but for now he doesn't want to see me at all. Today, it will be a week that he broke up with me and only second day with no contact. It's very hard, I can't stop crying, I have zero appetite and everyday I have to fight myself not to buy flight ticket to Hawaii. Since he said he needs some time and space to see me, I am trying to respect his request and also give myself sometime to think rationally. I want to give it a month and see if I still have the feeling that I need to meet him once. I have been trying to keep myself busy and hanging out with my friends. Everyone keeps saying that it's not my fault, I deserve someone better, I should try to forget him and time will heal everything. I understand that they all mean well and it's truth that time will eventually heal this pain. But until then it's very hard and painful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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