inthefeels Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 I'll try making this short and to the point. I'll start by saying that it is incredibly difficult for me to find a girl I actually like and open myself up to for fear of getting hurt and being extremely picky. I've been seeing this girl for a few months. Right off the bat she told me she was planning on moving out of state but since I didn't know how it was going to play out between us I kind of didn't think much of it (we met on tinder). Today she just txt me that her move in date in end of June and reading that message just killed me and broke my heart because I have really fell for her and I believe she fell for me too. I'm 99% positive she's not willing to do a long distance relationship and neither am I frankly. I just want some advice on what I should do and some words of wisdom that night make me feel a little better. Also, I'm on vacation and won't see her again until Saturday night at the earliest. She was on vacation the week before I left so it'll have been 2 weeks since we've seen each other. Is there any point in continuing to see her for the next month? She makes me happy and we like each other but I don't want to become more attached and hurt more when she does move away. Thanks in advance for everyone's kind words and advice! -Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
limichelle Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 If neither of you want a long distance relationship then take the moment now to enjoy each other's company now before she leaves. Take this as one of those things where people come and go but make an impression that changes you for the better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melancholy123 Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Well you were warned she planned to move so you should have kept this in the back of your mind. You should discuss with her how you'd like to proceed and what she'd like to do. Perhaps a LDR could work, tho that is very hard to maintain successfully. If she is really going to move on, you need to accept that but first talk to her about the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inthefeels Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 If neither of you want a long distance relationship then take the moment now to enjoy each other's company now before she leaves. Take this as one of those things where people come and go but make an impression that changes you for the better. That was kind of what her an I talked about a few weeks ago. My only fear is that it will hurt both of us even more if we make more memories together in the next month Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inthefeels Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 Well you were warned she planned to move so you should have kept this in the back of your mind. You should discuss with her how you'd like to proceed and what she'd like to do. Perhaps a LDR could work, tho that is very hard to maintain successfully. If she is really going to move on, you need to accept that but first talk to her about the future. I'm going to have to have a tall with her. But because I'm on vacation. And won't see her until Saturday it's going to be weighing on my mind knowing away at me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ESOTSM Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Enjoy the time yall got left together. youll be ok at least its not 12 years like me and not seeing it coming. hang in there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
limichelle Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Enjoy the time yall got left together. youll be ok at least its not 12 years like me and not seeing it coming. hang in there I know how that feels ten years for me! Its better to know sooner then later! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujusamples Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Just take it as it's bad timing! Sometimes "timing" is everything in a relationship. Even with some of my exes, I believe if the timing was better, the relationship would have worked out. Enjoy the time you have left together and cherish the moments you have. Maybe, one day you might be in the same place again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Sorry to hear this. Unfortunately neither of you want a LDR so it's a matter of cutting your losses now or enjoying what's left.I've been seeing this girl for a few months. Right off the bat she told me she was planning on moving out of state. I'm 99% positive she's not willing to do a long distance relationship and neither am I frankly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annia Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 I can relate to you but a bit different. I fell in love with a man after knowing I had a great work opportunity in another country, but I would only move there in a year. We were together but both knew it wouldn't work because of me leaving so he never let himself go emotionally... but I let myself go and fell for him, to the point of questioning if I should leave to that country or not. Until he found someone and fell in love with her and "broke up" with me to be with her 100%. In my case, I think I should have broken up with him earlier, knowing that I was leaving and we both didn't want a LDR. I'd have suffered much less. I'm not telling you to break up but to be aware that this might hurt, so sometimes it's better to cut your losses and see it and enjoy it for what it was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inthefeels Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 Enjoy the time yall got left together. youll be ok at least its not 12 years like me and not seeing it coming. hang in there I try telling myself that. "Its not like I didn't see it coming" I questions why I let myself fall for her. I think maybe subconsciously I wanted to try to win her heart over and hope everything worked out. It all comes back to me having a talk with her when I get back. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inthefeels Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 Just take it as it's bad timing! Sometimes "timing" is everything in a relationship. Even with some of my exes, I believe if the timing was better, the relationship would have worked out. Enjoy the time you have left together and cherish the moments you have. Maybe, one day you might be in the same place again. I didn't think of it like that, your right. Poor timing of us meeting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inthefeels Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 It's just had for me to open myself up emotionally to people that when I finally do, some stuff like this happens to me and it kills me. I'm a very sesnsative and emotional person which contributes to my pickyness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inthefeels Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 It also makes it very very hard knowing that this has to end for no reason other than distance. I can't be mad at her, she can't be mad at me. I'm also the Type of person who burns all bridges after a relationship and goes zero communication for my own healing purposes and I feel kind of bad that she won't be able to get should of me if she misses me and just wants to talk. I know that will just make things harder if I do let her have communication. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Just food for thought re: 'pickiness'. You met on tinder and said you didn't expect much plus you knew she was leaving all along. So her nonavailability was well known to you. In away that was an escape loophole if in fact your 'pickiness' is just not being ready for a relationship in general, no?It's just had for me to open myself up emotionally to people that when I finally do, some stuff like this happens to me and it kills me. I'm a very sesnsative and emotional person which contributes to my pickyness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inthefeels Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 Just food for thought re: 'pickiness'. You met on tinder and said you didn't expect much plus you knew she was leaving all along. So her nonavailability was well known to you. In away that was an escape loophole if in fact your 'pickiness' is just not being ready for a relationship in general, no? Correct, I thought it would just be a fun fling but as we learned about each other and made memories it developed into something more and here we are, feelings are involved and I'm (we) about about to get hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inthefeels Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 You know, a few weeks ago we even had a talk about something like this and she said "I'm scared of what I'm doing to us" knowing she was leaving and we were becoming attached. I don't want to make the transition of her move more difficult on her and I don't want to be selfish either. I know I just need to sit down and talk to her but as stated ok vacation and won't see her until Saturday night and it's just killing me inside thinking about it. To the point where it is ruining my vacation. I haven't talked to her since last night either when I called her and she didn't answer and said she was out with her mom. I'm sure today is a hard day at work for her (she is a nanny and saying goodbye to the kids has been weighing heavy on her) I just want her attention and some comfort to put my mind at ease Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 It seems you averted yet another relationship by picking someone who it about to leave town. Before that it was pickiness and casual dating on tinder. The theme of not wanting anything serious or to progress is still there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annia Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 I try telling myself that. "Its not like I didn't see it coming" I questions why I let myself fall for her. I think maybe subconsciously I wanted to try to win her heart over and hope everything worked out. It all comes back to me having a talk with her when I get back. Thanks Yes... I can relate to that kind of hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inthefeels Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 Yes... I can relate to that kind of hope. Hope is a dangerous thing when it comes to matters of the heart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inthefeels Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 It seems you averted yet another relationship by picking someone who it about to leave town. Before that it was pickiness and casual dating on tinder. The theme of not wanting anything serious or to progress is still there. Like I said, I just developed feelings for her. I didn't knowingly fall for her. Just kind of happened. Trust me, I want something real. I'm sure a fear of commitment and getting hurt plays a part in my pickiness. Nonetheless, this is the pickle I've gotten myself into Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annia Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 Hope is a dangerous thing when it comes to matters of the heart Indeed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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