positivelife Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 Hi guys, I've been with my partner for 5 years, lived with him for 4 years. I am very young. 23. But I've talked about kids and marriage with my partner and he says he wants both. I've told him I want to be married before having kids, and he really wants to start a family in the next couple years. I also want to start a family but I want to stick with my principle of being married first. He tells me he has no plans to propose any time soon, but still wants kids. I don't want to be forced into having kids without the commitment of marriage, but I also don't want him to marry me because I'm forcing him too. Am I being to demanding and pushy? Which is what he says? P.s there is no immediate pressure to have kids so I'm probably over reacting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 Stop talking about it. When do you do you want kids? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
positivelife Posted April 27, 2017 Author Share Posted April 27, 2017 Ahh, he wants them within the next 2 years. I'm thinking next 3-4 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 Don't get pregnant until you're married. It's really that simple. Why are you talking about this so much if it's already established that you both want marriage/kids one day? Ahh, he wants them within the next 2 years. I'm thinking next 3-4 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
positivelife Posted April 27, 2017 Author Share Posted April 27, 2017 Hmmm, that's a really good question. I think we only talk about it because other people (like family) ask us and put pressure mainly on me and we don't have a plan or response. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
used2blue Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 Stick to your beliefs. Bringing children into this world is a life long commitment. Why would you want to have children with someone who has commitment problems? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
positivelife Posted April 27, 2017 Author Share Posted April 27, 2017 Yeah, I'm not sure if he has commitment problems, or a problem with marriage? haha. But we're still young so I think we should just slow down a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
used2blue Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 Your name here says it all. You deserve a positive life. So so your future children. Be strong. Be positive. You are worth it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j.man Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 Are you working full time? Have a decent paying job? How old is he? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 Why not communicate to your family that you are not ready for marriage/kids just yet, he hasn't proposed and isn't even sure he wants marriage? Why transfer the stress and pressure on to him if it's causing chronic arguments? What's their rush? Do they disapprove of living together? Want grandchildren asap? Need to "marry you off"?I think we only talk about it because other people like family ask us and put pressure mainly on me and we don't have a plan or response. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lester Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 You're not pushy or that young. You are, most likely wasting your time and life. To know if this is true, you must breakup with him and date other men! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thealchemist Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 Is it external forces or internal that are the reason you have pushed the issue? If you want to plan ahead and everything that is fine. But if it is not you forcing the issue but people trying to get you too then ignore them. Just don't have a kid before marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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