Emotional Meeting with my ex

[robin13]

So I met my ex after 3 months of not seeing her. We were in a 4 year relationship and lets just say it ended probably in the worst way you think it could end and then multiply that by 10. We went for a drive and parked up in a place where we used to make out (she gave me a cheeky smile as we turned in) lol anyway we were talking about what happened about me cheating and all our issues etc etc and she started crying her eyes out for ages and we held each other hands we hugged i kissed her and she just cried and cried and i told how much i loved her etc. She said maybe to getting back over summer/in a few years and that she wants to be with me but just cant because she doesn't trust me. I know myself I would never do it again. I asked her does she want me to commit to her and she said no which i was annoyed at but did respect her decision. That night I went out to a club and kissed a few girls and she found out and went crazy, I then asked her does she care and I will stop it if she wants and she said no she doesn't and she doesn't care if i kiss people. About a 3 days later I was out and met up with this girl in a club and one of her friends seen me and told her and she went pretty mdd again over whats app telling me not to speak to her again etc, this was the day after I asked her for dinner and she didn't reply. It's all very weird. I am moving on at the same time but I do think we are meant to be. She says she'll see me over summer, I didn't go on a exchange to Oz to try and make it work. Bit stupid but she I do think she Is the one. Advice? Bear in mind I got to her agreeing to seeing me through begging and pleading, haven't tried proper nc yet, she had me blocked on everything, told me she never wanted to see me again and literally called her mum everytime i contacted her, this was 3 months ago.

[greta96]

Well I do realize you don't owe her anything, since you two are not together, but seriously, you will never be able to make a case for yourself and your undying love for your ex as long as each attempt to convince her of the seriousness of your feelings is followed by you meeting and kissing random girls in clubs or wherever. If I was your ex, I wouldn't believe a word that came out of your mouth at this point!

If you want to make a statement, then hold off on clubbing and kissing others for a while. I'm sure you can survive without those meaningless hookups for a while, can't you? You need to prove to your ex that you do indeed want her back, and that your feelings for her are real and strong, but kissing randoms in the meantime is doing quite the opposite of that!

 

Clearly your ex still loves you, and has given you enough hints that she does want things to eventually work out with you. She hasn't committed to anything because you betrayed her trust over and over again, and still are! You are torturing the girl, which I think is cruel.

 

Either go on sowing your wild oats until you get all those other women out of your system, and leave your ex alone, or make the decision to dedicate the next few months to making it up to her, and proving her you actually mean what you say. You can only do that by giving up the other women, the clubbing, etc, and by showing her that you can live without those things.

[Knight2001]

i am going through a similar scenario. i feel like i've lost the love of my life. i cant bear to look at another woman. i want nobody but her, but cant do anything about it. you cant feel like that otherwise you would not be cavorting around nightclubs with different girls.

if i was you i would spend time on your own and decide what it is you reall want. stop all this flirtacious bahaviour towards other women, but if you cant then i would think you dont want your ex back.

good luck, and good luck to your ex too.

[Wiseman2]

Why are you doing all these mind-fs on her? And pestering her? What is it you want? Taunting her, chronic cheating and slinging that in her face is endearing her to you...how? While you are doing all this PUA nonsense, she'll meet a guy who treats her well.

she wants to be with me but just cant because she doesn't trust me.That night I went out to a club and kissed a few girls and she found out and went crazy, I then asked her does she care and I will stop it if she wants

[robin13]

Like i don't want to loose respect for myself? she has been with 7 other guys since we needed and i held out for two months and she knows that