Husband had STD right before meeting me and kept it from me until now

[princessjessa]

My husband was overseas and I didn't even know him at the time but 6 months later he came back and we started dating and got close and I shared some dark secrets with him and he never once told me this.

 

He doesn't even know which STD he had and it frustrates me because why didn't he tell me before we got married?? I feel like he kept a secret that I think I should have known. We just had a baby and it's been one full year of being married and I just feel hurt.

[gebaird]

Has he been treated? You're not in any danger, are you? How is your husband feeling? Why did he choose to tell you about this now?

 

I can understand why you are feeling hurt. Is the relationship good otherwise? If so, I'd chalk this up to an anomaly and do your best to work through it.

[jujusamples]

So sorry you are going through this. Did you get check up if you contracted the STD? If not, I strongly suggest you do so. Also, I hope your baby is okay and healthy and is not affected by the STD.

 

I understand why you are hurt, I would be too. Actually I would feel betrayed as he kept such important information away from you. It's something that could affect your health. He could of just told you so you could use precaution to protect yourself.

 

I'm not sure what kind of advice I could give you because, as I said, I would be mad. Have you tried talking to him and ask him why he didn't tell you and why is he telling you now?

[princessjessa]

Has he been treated? You're not in any danger, are you? How is your husband feeling? Why did he choose to tell you about this now?

 

I can understand why you are feeling hurt. Is the relationship good otherwise? If so, I'd chalk this up to an anomaly and do your best to work through it.

 

He told me he was given antibiotics which is fine but he can't even tell me what he got. No I'm not in any danger but thank you for asking. He told me he was too embarrassed but I'm just not willing to accept that because it's something that can affect my health so it should not have been left out.

 

We have a pretty good marriage other than this and that's why it seems to be more hurtful. It just really caught me off guard and it just hurts.

[princessjessa]

So sorry you are going through this. Did you get check up if you contracted the STD? If not, I strongly suggest you do so. Also, I hope your baby is okay and healthy and is not affected by the STD.

 

I understand why you are hurt, I would be too. Actually I would feel betrayed as he kept such important information away from you. It's something that could affect your health. He could of just told you so you could use precaution to protect yourself.

 

I'm not sure what kind of advice I could give you because, as I said, I would be mad. Have you tried talking to him and ask him why he didn't tell you and why is he telling you now?

 

Thank you. It's terrible. I think I got checked routinely during my 2nd month of pregnancy but I'm calling tomorrow to make sure. Yes the baby is great for the most part thank you. It's just super scary that he would even put me at risk or at least not give me the chance to take precaution.

 

Those are my exact words. I feel betrayed and the thought of my health being jeopardized and I have two young children. I'm just really hurt.

 

No, you said the right thing and it helped. I wanted to make sure I was over exaggerating. I have tried and he feels so awful and he said he is going to the doctor asap to get tested so I can see. Honestly, I just can't get over it and I know he means well but it's just like come on.

[Iggy5129]

If he had it before you and was treated I don't really see what the problem is. You're not at any risk. His sex life before you met is not really your business, nor were his health matter that don't affect you. I'm not understanding the problem.

 

Does he still have it and put you and baby at risk?? If not then who cares?? He probably had chlamydia or something super treatable. Not a big deal.

[positivelife]

I'm not sure I understand.

 

If he has been treated and it was before you, then you are at no risk! Unless it is a disease that couldn't been treated.

If you knew he had been sexually active before you what more do you need to know?

To me it sounds like he didn't think it was as serious because he had been treated.

There is a reason this sort of stuff is confidential because it is up to that person to determine if they want to say anything, not those trying to know.

 

Would you expect him to tell you when he last had a cold before being with you, you're more likely to contract that.

 

This question is imposing on someones right to their privacy, even in a relationship. He didn't cheat, he didn't lie, and he definitely did not risk your health if your childrens' health was at danger that would have been picked up at birth which is was not.

[Dahl]

I don't understand, either. OP, could you please elaborate more?

[indea08]

If he got treated before having sex with you then it was none of your business. Unless it was HIV or syphillis (which I suspect it wasnt because you say he was treated with antibiotics), then there was no need for him to tell you.

[catfeeder]

Unless he still had it and brought it into the relationship with you, I don't understand the problem.

[Wiseman2]

So you were fully tested and ok? He doesn't have to share that if it was treated long ago and isn't chronic or affecting him now. And so what?

 

"Sharing dark secrets" is kind of foolish as you noticed. Leave the past in the past and focus on your health, the baby's health and the health of your marriage.

We just had a baby and it's been one full year of being married.