dreams2much Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 Okay... this is a really difficult situation... and complicated. I started falling for my manager... who is 22.... we started talking and hanging out and eventually things turned into a relationship. I no longer work with him... so that is no worry.... but everything is getting really serious. He took my virginity first of all... and I have fallen for him so bad. There's one problem with everything... he has a girlfriend going to school in Texas. I know what you're thinking... he's just using me... but it's not like that at all. He took me out to dinner and bought me a diamond anklet... he calls me beautiful... he always says how he wants to take me out to dinner and a movie... and he just treats me so well. I've already talked to him about his girlfriend and asked what to expect when she graduates and his response was basically this --- "I'm glad you asked that... i wanted to bring it up but I didn't know how to come about it... Honestly I don't know what is going to happen... if she moves back here... we're going to be togeather... and our plan is to move out of the country togeather... there's a possibility she might not come back here and she will just move away... but I really don't know. I obviously care about you a lot and I would never just leave really quickly... It's hard because if we were closer in age... I would be rethinking a lot of things right now... but where we are in our lives are so different." So that just made me content for a little while.... but I'm starting to wonder again... his girlfriend is done in August and I don't know what to expect. He is opening a store here in the winter of 2006... but I don't know if that is for sure and if that means he's staying for good. Also... I will be going to college in 2006 and I wonder if I went to college local... maybe things wouldn't work out with him and his girlfriend and we could be togeather.... There is so much going on in my mind. Everytime I think about the possibilities I get tears in my eyes. HELP ME.... what should i do? Link to comment
DN Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 He is using you - dump him. By appearing to care and buying you dinner and diamonds (sure they are real?) he is getting what he wants from you. But the fact is he is a cheat and a manipulative liar. Link to comment
kskm Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 You right now are #2. How does that make you feel? Not good huh? It's never a good feeling to be second in someones life that you so badly want to be apart of. I think that you need to tell him that you have to stop seeing him until he breaks up with her (I know easier said that done) but how would you feel if he was cheating on you? Not good. Just give it time and everything will work out. If he truly wants to be with you he will break up with his girl in Texas. Also he needs to be honest with her by telling her about you. Or that relationship will never last either. I already serious serious doubt it will last. Link to comment
MetallicAguy Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 Well first of all....the guys a loser..he just is, he's stupid because 1. He's risking you getting pregnant even if you take birth control, 2. Your underage and he can get charged with underage rape or whatever the charges term is, 3. He's cheating on his gf and has no respect for her...well he might display respect for you..but what happens when he finds another woman?? He obviously isn't faithful to his gf...if he isn't with her then he won't be very long with you. Link to comment
lady00 Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 He said that if she came back he would be with her. He is actually currently with her. He is a selfish jerk. He is cheating on his girlfriend. He is not a good guy. DUMP HIM. Link to comment
dreams2much Posted April 4, 2005 Author Share Posted April 4, 2005 him and his girl in texas have an agreement that they can see other people. and i know it sounds like he is just using me... but if you knew him and knew how he is, you would see it different... Link to comment
sisterlynch Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 I've already talked to him about his girlfriend and asked what to expect when she graduates and his response was basically this --- "I'm glad you asked that... I obviously care about you a lot and I would never just leave really quickly... It's hard because if we were closer in age... I would be rethinking a lot of things right now... but where we are in our lives are so different." So that just made me content for a little while.... but I'm starting to wonder again... Do you know how to do a cost analysis of the relationship? You make a list of all the things that he is giving you, then the negatives about the relationship, then you figure out if he is costing more that he is giving... Be really picky, if he has blue eyes and you like brown, then count up all the points on both sides and see how it evens out. If you are alright with dating only half of a guy, then go for it. Remember, he won't leave you really quickly, unless she shows up really quickly... Link to comment
lady00 Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 Okay maybe they have an agreement that they can see other people but by saying that if she came back they would be together and they would move away together, he's putting her first. He's saying that he is more likely to stay with her in the end than be with you. Proceed with caution. Link to comment
justsweetgirl Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 What scares me is he is telling you your future depends on whether or not his gf decides to return home. He is being passive about the whole thing. He is not the one who is going to be brokenhearted when the time comes. Why put your life in someone else's hands? Link to comment
boomer1619 Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 Uh, okay listen. The dude is using you for sex. He is a manipulative creep, who is commiting a crime by having sex with you. He used his management position to get you where he wanted you, and then, took your virginity, because thats what he got off on, and he has another girl that he would rather have. He is already aware that he is committing a crime. Believe me. When you get older, and in your mid twenties, you are really gonna look back as what he did to be a very awful, disgusting, manipulative thing. WHy are you 15 and 16 year old women so hung up on these people. GET AWAY FROM THEM Link to comment
justsweetgirl Posted April 4, 2005 Share Posted April 4, 2005 When someone says, "I would never leave quickly," that doesn't mean he wouldn't leave. It just means he'll tell you first. He's got it all worked out and, it sounds to me, you are not part of the long term plan. Because he already has a gf he misses. It really is best not to get involved with unavailable men, whatever their age. Really. Better to learn this sooner rather than later. Link to comment
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