Chemistry: Determining Factor of Relationships?

[daisy]

Chemistry in Relationships.: Is it instant or gradual? I know that this may be quite an ambiguous topic, but what are your experiences with chemistry and attraction? Were your BEST relationships based on initial, instant chemistry? Or was it based on gradual attraction?

 

How do you know if you have strong chemistry with someone?

 

If you do feel that deep connection, is it possible that two people have the same, mutual attraction for each other? Or is there always some kind of imbalance of attraction?

 

How important is chemistry in relationships?

 

Some people say that hard work and companionship in relationships are more important than chemistry. They argue that the reasons why marriages/relationships tend to fall apart these days is because people are constantly looking for chemistry. The reason why relationships don't work out is because people are too busy chasing after those feelings of passion. Would you agree?

 

Other people also argue that hard work can make any relaitonships last, as evident through arranged marriages. What are your opinions on love and chemistry in relationships?

 

To clarify what I mean by chemistry: Chemistry- Instant attraction (not just your superficial physical attraction, but mental and/or emotional). A deep bond that you feel, based upon your first meeting with that person. It's strong connection that you feel that words can't describe.

[bullet]

That is a good question. I have been wondering about that too. It would be good to see what others think.

[kskm]

Chemistry, to me in my relationships, is VERRRRRY important. Of corse there has to be initial attracting and a force drawing you to a specific person, and then I guess it gradually grows from there. But if you sit (say after 9-12 months) and look at the other person and don't feel connected or when you kiss there is nothing there then why be with that person? I feel like I really need that. I need to feel that- I don't know what to call it- CHEMISTRY. lol. Once it's gone it's gone though

[MetallicAguy]

Chemistry is basically what relationships are all about. It's that one thing that makes everything connect and matter. Well for INSTANT chemistry, guys usually get that, either from staring at you first lol, or getting to know your personality they can gain attraction. But still for guys it's usually instant chemistry...that's how we were made. For women, well you should know this but I think it's gradual chemistry. I mean sure you might FEEL instant chemistry because of pheromones but it's really gradual chemistry.

[guapa]

People say that chemistry is the initial attraction, but what makes it last is communication.

 

this is really the key, this is exactly what makes it last. if people can't be honest and ask for what they want then they will never get it. and thats the truth.

 

i love my current boyfriend, but we've been having so many problems because of communication. Sex is HOT, but all the other time we are spending together we are communicationg, which is really the majority of the time. Sooooo, we have to learn to communicate, or it will not work...

[LI chick]

Okay, I will throw in my 2 cents....

 

I think there are all levels of chemistry, just as there are all levels of love such as for friends, a parent, siblings, your spouse or significant other, etc. Without some 'level' of chemistry there would be no relationship, right? The same goes for love.

 

I think if people build a relationship on chemistry alone they are setting themselves up for failure. Chemistry may bring people together, but once the relationship starts to mature the chemistry can fade i.e. not as intense as in the beginning and what holds the relationship together is a good, kind, loving person who communicates well and loves you for you. I fel that mature love is about truly loving someone for who they are and sticking by them through good and bad times.

 

All relationships take work. Chemistry definitely makes the work worthwhile, but it ebbs and flows. That is just the reality of life. I have been married for almost 11 years and it is love more than chemistry that has sustained our marriage.

 

I hope that sparks some insight...maybe??

 

LI chick

[justsweetgirl]

When my gf and I first met, I didn't feel much chemistry between us. I did, however, think she was a really great person. Over time, as I began to fall for her, she became more and more attractive to me. Now, I find her simply irresistible! On the flip side, my ex appealed to me immensely on sight...and turned out to be a rat.