Reflections11 Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 Love finds you when you stop looking. So they say. Yes, many of us have heard that platitude so many times that it's nauseating. I feel it's the equivalent of starving and somebody in front of you eating a plate full of food telling you that dinner only comes when you stop being hungry (or at least stop looking for food). That platitude does more harm than good sometimes. But at the same time... sometimes I'm just sick of looking. It becomes all consuming, this quest for connection. But I don't know how to just shut it off. Stop Looking? How do you "stop looking" for food when you are starving? When you are starving for food, it becomes hard to think of anything else. When you are starving for that human connection, it becomes hard to just shut it off and stop caring if you find someone. Especailly when everyone around you seems to have found it naturally and easily with minimal effort. (And why is that anyway? Are they just a better person than me? Are they just more deserving of love and companionship than me? Does the Universe just bless them while deciding to curse me for some reason??????? And if so...what did I do to deserve this lifetime curse while everyone around me gets blessed with love???) And actually... my last relationship happened when I wasn't looking. Because I was traveling around the country, and forming a relationship while traveling seemed so impossible that I didn't even care, and I was so focused on my own self that I didn't even need anyone. But how do you stop looking? I can throw myself into my life but there is always that longing to meet someone. Sometimes, the deeper I throw myself into my life, the more I wish I had someone to share all of that with. There is always that hope that around that next corner, that next place I go, that next person I meet, might be the person I spend the rest of my life with. Or even just a few months with. But you know... it just never happens. And the search becomes a huge drain on my emotional energy. I'm tired of looking for someone who may not even exist. And maybe I'm not even supposed to find them... maybe they are supposed to find me. So ... how do you stop looking for love? How do I quell that inner desire to finally find somebody with whom to forge a longterm natural meaningful connection? How do I end that daily anticipation and hope that around the next corner my match will finally reveal themselves? How do I just go through life and enjoy it all, while seeing everyone around me partnered up, and not wonder/wish for a match of my own? It's easy for partnered people to say "love finds you when you stop looking". Just as it's easy for people eating to tell you "you'll get dinner when you stop being hungry and looking for food." But sometimes the search for somebody just becomes too much of an emotional and time drain, and I just want to shake it off completely and focus on the rest of my life. So how do you stop looking for love? Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.