Two months post-BU

[Sadandhurt1]

It's been 2 months now since the ex broke up with me unexpectedly. Surprisingly, the forums have been right and I somewhat have a different point of view on everything.

 

It's true that the first few weeks are TERRIBLE and NC is also ridiculously hard but it does get better with time. I messed it up a few times in the beginning but always pushed myself to restart it. Plus I've deleted him as a friend on FB and then a few weeks later he ended up blocking me on IG. I was furious for a few days but then figured hey, not only did I do the same exact thing to him with Facebook, but this would only help me heal. Additionally, just keep reminding yourself that what you see on social media is not the real thing. REMEMBER that what we show on social media is the BEST side of us. Don't rely on that and start making stupid assumptions.

 

Time is everything, IT NEVER STOPS. Though a lot of you probably don't realize it and you feel like you're stuck, trust me, you're not...we're not! We are all subconsciously moving forward without realizing it.

 

Now with healing, I've learned so much about myself so far, it's not even funny. I know what I want in relationships now, as well as knowing what I bring to the table. I also know what I need to improve on and bad habits I should probably learn to kick. When you get dumped, you do a lot of self-evaluation. Something I feel like we normally don't do especially when we are happily in a relationship. You think about your self worth and it's really difficult trying to push yourself back up after your ego has been crushed, but it's possible.

 

Waking up is the most difficult thing for me. But once I get to push myself out of bed and start doing something, I get better and my thoughts are clearer. Again, time is everything! And we will all heal eventually.

 

I still love him, and probably always will. He has a piece of my heart with him forever. Now, do I think he's gonna come back? Hmm maybe? I don't know. There's times I'm positive he'll come back and then there's times I realize that he won't. If you haven't read my story, upcoming distance and stress is what I think ultimately pushed him away from me.

 

Regardless, I hope he's happy. I want nothing else but that. It's funny because when I go through my angry phases (stages of grief happen constantly btw during healing lol) I would call him stupid names, etc, say how much I hate him for doing this to me, but I don't actually mean any of it. I love the guy to death and he felt like he needed to do what he needed to do. I'm me and he's him, therefore I can't control what he wants in life.

 

Healing does happen, slowly but surely!

[Bob2526]

It's been 2 months now since the ex broke up with me unexpectedly. Surprisingly, the forums have been right and I somewhat have a different point of view on everything.

 

It's true that the first few weeks are TERRIBLE and NC is also ridiculously hard but it does get better with time. I messed it up a few times in the beginning but always pushed myself to restart it. Plus I've deleted him as a friend on FB and then a few weeks later he ended up blocking me on IG. I was furious for a few days but then figured hey, not only did I do the same exact thing to him with Facebook, but this would only help me heal. Additionally, just keep reminding yourself that what you see on social media is not the real thing. REMEMBER that what we show on social media is the BEST side of us. Don't rely on that and start making stupid assumptions.

 

Time is everything, IT NEVER STOPS. Though a lot of you probably don't realize it and you feel like you're stuck, trust me, you're not...we're not! We are all subconsciously moving forward without realizing it.

 

Now with healing, I've learned so much about myself so far, it's not even funny. I know what I want in relationships now, as well as knowing what I bring to the table. I also know what I need to improve on and bad habits I should probably learn to kick. When you get dumped, you do a lot of self-evaluation. Something I feel like we normally don't do especially when we are happily in a relationship. You think about your self worth and it's really difficult trying to push yourself back up after your ego has been crushed, but it's possible.

 

Waking up is the most difficult thing for me. But once I get to push myself out of bed and start doing something, I get better and my thoughts are clearer. Again, time is everything! And we will all heal eventually.

 

I still love him, and probably always will. He has a piece of my heart with him forever. Now, do I think he's gonna come back? Hmm maybe? I don't know. There's times I'm positive he'll come back and then there's times I realize that he won't. If you haven't read my story, upcoming distance and stress is what I think ultimately pushed him away from me.

 

Regardless, I hope he's happy. I want nothing else but that. It's funny because when I go through my angry phases (stages of grief happen constantly btw during healing lol) I would call him stupid names, etc, say how much I hate him for doing this to me, but I don't actually mean any of it. I love the guy to death and he felt like he needed to do what he needed to do. I'm me and he's him, therefore I can't control what he wants in life.

 

Healing does happen, slowly but surely!

 

Glad that you are healing and doing better. Posts like this help me a lot. It's been almost three months since my break up and it's has gotten a lot better. I no longer get those moment of anxiety and extreme sadness like I did early on in the break up. I still think about her, but it's not obsessive anymore. Waking up was definitely the hardest thing for me since it happened. The worst was when I woke up and get my first thought and it was of her. I would then continue to dwell on it until I fully woke up. It sure has gotten better. Now I just lay my head and those thoughts aren't as bad as they were and I'm able to go back to sleep. I'm on day 40 or so of NC and that has also helped me push forward. Like you I wonder here and there if she would come back but I tell me myself it doesn't matter at this point anymore. She is dating again so I don't hold on to that hope and I just try to ignore what is going on in her life. I just keep moving on. Thanks for this post. It's good to encourage each other.

[SadPanda78]

Let me also say how helpful posts like these really are. I am on day 5 post BU and even though we were only seeing each other for a little over a month it stings. I am 100% with you in the fact that waking up is THE worst. The moment a thought of her enters my mind it's so defeating...but I try and persevere. It takes time and I will get there...reading these posts will help ease the burden. Thank you.

[Angel25]

when i was reading it felt like every sentence is talking about me..

May be it is abt waking up, the worst part i face during the whole day it seems like there is none i m left alone i feel so sad that i start crying just after minutes of waking up n slowly slowly it gets better by the end of evening n same cycle is repeating every day still waiting to heal..

n yea ofcourse i also question will he come back to me maybe he'll bcoz i loved him the most n in next second i question why will he come back to me afterall he has left after knowing the fact that i loved him the most..

n yea i also think that i will nvr be able to hate him n i will love him throughouty life n will wait for him..

NOW let's see when will my healing process be completed..

n thanks for sharing..

here on this forum we find people that don't know each other bt help so much

[Sadandhurt1]

Glad this post is helping everyone!! We're all healing, it's just such a darn slow process

 

I really needed this out today, kind of my way of venting. For some reason, I was having a hard time today....

 

But like I said, the stages of grief repeat itself constantly during healing and I've learned to accept that there are good days as well as bad days...

[Angel25]

but my breakup didn't give me much hope cause it ended up when he foumd another girl to love..

[Sadandhurt1]

but my breakup didn't give me much hope cause it ended up when he foumd another girl to love..

 

And that's ok, try to keep healing! You're the one that matters right now, not him, not her, no one else! That's your main focus

 

And everything is possible, you never know. And you know what, if he doesn't come back around, HIS loss! There will be someone else. Things will eventually work out! Always remember that time is one heck of a beautiful thing!

[TiredOfDating]

I think we are at about the same stage. It was early January when he first broke things off, but then he decided he didn't want a clean break, so we just agreed to take time off. A month later we met up and I ended it fully, but I consider January to be the actual breakup.

 

I agree in many ways, much of the advice here was pretty spot on, and not always what I wanted to hear when it first happened.

 

I could have written your post myself. Its so spot on. Especially when you speak of recycling that anger phase. I have days where I think I hate him. But still, every piece of news, every new place I hear about, my first thought is "I wish I could share it with him". There's times I tell myself I could never want him back, then I have days where I feel once he has his time to deal with the fallout of his marriage, he'll be back and I'll be glad to have him back.

 

I have realized my own faults, even if those faults didn't actually contribute to the breakup. As much as I think I didn't pressure him, I can look back and remember instances of me being too needy and ignoring some red flags.

 

Thank you so much for sharing your progress and perspective. Here's to further healing for you!

[Angel25]

Hello @Sadandhurt1 can i connect with u on fb?

[Imhurtagain]

I'm going through the exact same situation and feelings. We even broke up for the same reasons. My ex started dating another girl too though. It's just so painful. How are you doing now?

[Sadandhurt1]

I'm going through the exact same situation and feelings. We even broke up for the same reasons. My ex started dating another girl too though. It's just so painful. How are you doing now?

 

@Imhurtagain

 

I'm doing not that well but also not as bad as before. Definitely healing. It is what it is. I've recently found some things out in regards to him possibly not leaving and that set me back some but I still have to continue and try to move forward.

 

Still have bouts of anger phases, it's still new to me. Still get depressed and sad. But I've learned to get better w things. Been talking to people about it and I mean, if he was unhappy with me then it's his right to figure things out on his own. If he eventually realizes that I was good for him, then we can work on it from there...

[Angel25]

I am again here..

I can't believe i was so broken that i asked someone to connect with,who is also going through the same situation that was only to share same feelings and lighten the pain

But Thank God i really better than before it has been hardly 15 days but really better than the first week..