i don't know what to make of this, why is he being so nice?

[Lola55]

I am so confused! I have absolutely no idea what to think!!!!!

Ok, I will keep this short for you all....

A few months ago I started seeing this guy. He told me from the beginning that he was casually seeing someone else and that he had just gotten out of a relationship and thereforeeee was not looking for anything serious. He just wanted a girl to "hang out" with. Anyway, I told him that i was looking for a bit more than just "hanging out", but I proceeded to continue talking with him from time to time (nothing serious), and I thought he had stopped seeing the girl he told me he was seeing. However, one night we fooled around and then he ignored me for a couple weeks and when I saw him the next time, he showed up to a bar (that he knew i would be at) with the girl he was seeing, and to my surprise was obviously still seeing. When I asked him why he did that to me, he apologized and said that he can't continue to see me because I am the type of girl he would want to date for a long time and he can't fool around with me etc... because I am not the kind of girl he can just do that to without dating. See the thing is, he lives far from me and after this school year he will be going back. He did not want to start something he could see an end to. I told him that i knew that but i enjoyed his company so much that i would rather spend 3 months with him then nothing at all. He said he is not with the other girl officially, he is just casually seeing her because that is all he wants right now. CONFUSING! Anyway, we decided to stop seeing eachother and i just thought that he was sweet talking me because his actions spoke louder then anything he said to me. I was hurt, and angry, and i felt stupid.

A few months went by and we barely spoke. Now, he keeps messaging me and talking to me, just like we used to. We joke around, and flirt, but I am not expecting, or even wanting anything from it. A couple times he has messaged me inviting me places. I have gone once and when I did go he was with the girl he is seeing. He said hi to me and we talked for a bit but i barely got to see him. The whole time he was sitting with the other girl and i could feel him watching me the whole time. Everytime I would look over at him, he was staring right at me. He looked and looked, but he never came over. Anyway, what I am confused about is, why would he invite me to places he knows his "girl" will be? I understand that maybe he just wants to be friends and bury all the bad feelings, but then why the staring to the point that I could feel him watching me on the other side of the room? Am I exaggerating? Is this guy a confusing two-timer? Or could he have been sincere in what he told me, could he have liked me so much that I scared him off? Or was a screwed over big time? I have so many unanswered questions and I know I should not care, but I can't help but feel frustrated. Some advice would help me a lot!

thanks for taking the time to read all of that!

[DN]

If he is inviting you places and his g/f is there he is either thinking of you as a friend only or is messing with your head. In either case, it means you should forget about him as a romantic interest and find someone else.

[providentielle]

This guy sounds as confused as you! We often want things that are likely to make like difficult, like falling for someone who lives far away, this may be an issue for him. I am sceptical as to whether the relationship with this other girl is as casual as he makes out, maybe i'm being suspicious but I dont know many relationships like that. It could be that he likes you but wants to keep this girl around incase you are not as keen as him, but it could be so many other reasons! I'm afraid the only way you are going to find out whats going on with him is to ask him, scary but you might finally find out where you stand. Good luck