What is going on here?

[notsomature]

So I'm really confused.

 

My ex broke up with me back in September of 2016 because I couldn't trust him. We were together for 6 months, but within 3 months of the relationship things started going south - not that it was all rainbows & sunshine in the beginning because he was always Mr. McShady - but I started having real suspicions about a female friend of his. I never heard him talk about her during our relationship until I noticed the name, Cindy, come up on his phone when she called him one Sunday morning. I asked who she was and he said Cindy is his "buddy". I asked why she called and he said "she needed something". I recognized the name as the same name on his old Instagram posts where he called that girl "the lady".

 

Three months after the breakup, my suspicions were confirmed when I learned that they're sleeping together. Even just 2 weeks ago, my sister said she saw him & her working out at the gym and my sister was giving him the death glare the entire time making him feel uncomfortable & they immediately left. What kind of buddies sleep and workout with each other? None that I know of, so my only conclusion is that they are more than just your average buddies. Something definitely is going on there...

 

What's even more weird is that immediately after he & I broke up 6 months ago, I noticed Cindy and my ex unfriended each other on Instagram & she un-liked all the posts of his that she had previously liked. She was also un-tagged in a few of his posts. I found that really odd, especially since right now they're still quite friendly with each other.

 

What's even more confusing is that the day before Valentine's Day he saw me at the gym and I ignored him, but he texted me at 12am that night. The text was weird too, he wasn't asking me how I was doing. The text was simply "Jessicaaaa". That's it. I ignored it. Then a week ago he tried to add me on Instagram and I noticed that him and Cindy are friends on there again. I declined his request. Then today he tried to add me again!

 

What could be the explanation for his behavior? It's so odd. Obviously he's not trying to apologize or make up with me because he hasn't tried to text me again after I ignored his weird text. He's shagging Cindy. So why is he still trying to add me on Instagram?

[gebaird]

He's shagging Cindy. So why is he still trying to add me on Instagram?

 

Because he wants to shag you, too?

 

He sounds like a good guy to forget. I'd block him and avoid him IRL (good job not responding to that text!).

 

Be glad you didn't waste more than 6 months on this loser.

[Wiseman2]

It doesn't seem worth your time nor energy to stalk and track his activities after 6 mos of "Mr McShady" and 6 mos after ending it. Ignore him and delete and block him and his new gf from all your social media.

 

That will help you heal and move forward. He sounds like a player, no?

We were together for 6 months, but within 3 months of the relationship things started going south - not that it was all rainbows & sunshine in the beginning because he was always Mr. McShady. He's shagging Cindy. So why is he still trying to add me on Instagram?

[notsomature]

That's pretty much what his ex-fiance did (forgot about him and ignored him) & she broke off the engagement for the very same reasons (because he's super shady pants). This guy has got issues.

 

I'm not innocent though, I made a slip-up 3 months ago when I found out he was sleeping with her by sending him an angry text. Before that we were in NC since the breakup in September. He responded saying "He didn't know what I was talking about", he said "You don't know what you're talking about, you know nothing", and "I told you the truth about me and Cindy, I didn't like her and I was serious about you."

 

If all he is saying is true, that means Cindy could be his FWB for when his relationships go south & he can just fall back on her. That may be why he didn't really try hard to get me back because he already had someone lined up. IF that's the case, I'm not okay with that & it's a good thing we broke up.

[Wiseman2]

It would be much healthier to stop obsessing about this new gf. Do not contact him. You broke up so both of you can now date whoever you wish.

 

A healthier activity would be to work out, get a new updated look and get a nice profile and pics on some dating apps and start meeting new guys for coffee and get into dating again.

I made a slip-up 3 months ago when I found out he was sleeping with her by sending him an angry text. Before that we were in NC since the breakup in September.

That may be why he didn't really try hard to get me back because he already had someone lined up. IF that's the case, I'm not okay with that & it's a good thing we broke up.

[Betterwithout]

Time to move on.... and you already know it.

Hopefully your next man will have McSweetie or McHunnyBunny as nicknames instead of Mr. McShady

[notsomature]

It would be much healthier to stop obsessing about this new gf. Do not contact him. You broke up so both of you can now date whoever you wish.

 

A healthier activity would be to work out, get a new updated look and get a nice profile and pics on some dating apps and start meeting new guys for coffee and get into dating again.

 

Is it bad that my ex kinda ruined dating for me? Like I have absolutely no desire anymore to date. He put a very bad taste in my mouth

[notsomature]

Also this kinda stuff hasn't only happened to me once. My ex before this one was a long-distant relationship. He lived in LA. I finally agreed to visit him for a week after a few months of dating, and immediately after I came back from visiting him, he went to India and met someone and got married less than a year later.

 

Just this month (about 2 years after we broke up) he texted me asking me how I'm doing. I didn't respond, because he's married and he was a douche. Guys. I'm telling ya. I keep attracting the wrong ones.

 

Since my last relationship I became Christian and developed a strong faith and relationship in God. Now I feel like God is all I need...

[vesper]

I add all kinds of people on Instagram. its just fun when you are scrolling through and it gives you suggestions. I would really move on from this toxic relationship that you are in.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry, that's absurd after dating only 6 mos. Your obsession with his new gf is "ruining dating for you".

Is it bad that my ex kinda ruined dating for me?

[notsomature]

Also this kinda stuff hasn't only happened to me once. My ex before this one was a long-distant relationship. He lived in LA. I finally agreed to visit him for a week after a few months of dating, and immediately after I came back from visiting him, he went to India and met someone and got married less than a year later.

 

Just this month (about 2 years after we broke up) he texted me asking me how I'm doing. I didn't respond, because he's married and he was a douche. Guys. I'm telling ya. I keep attracting the wrong ones.

 

Since my last relationship I became Christian and developed a strong faith and relationship in God. Now I feel like God is all I need...

 

Sorry, that's absurd after dating only 6 mos. Your obsession with his new gf is "ruining dating for you".

 

But it's more than just my obsession with his ex. This stuff just keeps happening to me. No wonder I wanna give up.

[Wiseman2]

Ok take a break, regroup, reflect on what your deal-breakers and red flags and priorities are. Adjust your filters if this stuff keeps happening.

This stuff just keeps happening to me.

[Honeybal]

I dated a mr mcshady and we were back and forth for a little more than 3 years, if you can, don't ever look back. These guys will take what they can get and spit you out once they take all you can give. Don't let him waste any more of your time.