Ery1988 Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 So me and my boyfriend have been having a really good time lately and everything has been much better. However, this past week his dad was hospitalized and he became distant with me, and I havnt been able to help myself and be needy because he hasn't wanted to see me or call me during the time... he's said he has been stressed dealing with his parents. I have got upset, and shown a bad side to me. Iv said things to him I did not mean. And over 6 days I have just made matters worse. He's now got very angry with me for how I have behaved and says he is better off alone and that we are not good for each other. I know he's angry and he will come round. I shouldn't have acted selfishly like I did but it was out of love, I wanted to help and be there for him and he has wanted to be alone. How can I make things better with him. I know sorry is not enough. I just love him a lot. Link to comment
MrSweetHarmony Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 Your humble nature is a good part of making things better with him. What makes him smile and laugh ? What is he interested in ? Link to comment
Ery1988 Posted March 5, 2017 Author Share Posted March 5, 2017 I have behaved terribly when his dad has been ill. Is there anything worse than ur partner giving u grief at these times? 😔 Link to comment
SherrySher Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 You need to acknowledge your behaviour to him and let him know that you know you were wrong and that you're very sorry and won't do it again. Then you need to follow it up by telling him you will give him space and you are there for him, but that he can get back in touch with you when he is ready to. Link to comment
MrSweetHarmony Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 Error, it didn't quote. Link to comment
MrSweetHarmony Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 I have behaved terribly when his dad has been ill. Is there anything worse than ur partner giving u grief at these times? 😔 Why did you say that ? Link to comment
Ery1988 Posted March 5, 2017 Author Share Posted March 5, 2017 It's the truth. His dad went into hospital for a minor surgery and it went worse than anticipated. And I have displayed neediness, I have argued to him, brought out the dirty laundry..... and given him more stress. Link to comment
MrSweetHarmony Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 It's the truth. His dad went into hospital for a minor surgery and it went worse than anticipated. And I have displayed neediness, I have argued to him, brought out the dirty laundry..... and given him more stress. Ok, so do you think it answered any of my questions or disproved anything I said to you ? Link to comment
Ery1988 Posted March 5, 2017 Author Share Posted March 5, 2017 No.... I know he's angry with me and ure right I need to show him love and humbleness Link to comment
Ery1988 Posted March 5, 2017 Author Share Posted March 5, 2017 Worst thing he is now not talking to me or answering any msgs or calls. He gives up on me Link to comment
MrSweetHarmony Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 No.... I know he's angry with me and ure right I need to show him love and humbleness Ok, thank you, I appreciate that, and it's nice to agree. Have you thought of any ideas to show him the love ? Link to comment
MrSweetHarmony Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 Worst thing he is now not talking to me or answering any msgs or calls. He gives up on me Do you still think he will come round ? Link to comment
Ery1988 Posted March 5, 2017 Author Share Posted March 5, 2017 I know him.... nothing can fix it right now. He needs space and to needs to miss me. But I struggle with that. Link to comment
MrSweetHarmony Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 I know him.... nothing can fix it right now. He needs space and to needs to miss me. But I struggle with that. Yes, I can understand why you do, loyalty is very important in a sexual relationship. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 How selfish, not to understand he was going through a difficult time , and only focus on your needs. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 I know him.... nothing can fix it right now. He needs space and to needs to miss me. But I struggle with that. You need to learn to respect what other people want. Link to comment
Matt3939 Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 I'd just say (I'm sorry) and I'm here for you in whatever way. Link to comment
MrSweetHarmony Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 You need to learn to respect what other people want. To be fair Holly, and I know this is my opinion, from what I have read, they both need to learn about how to support each other. Link to comment
MrSweetHarmony Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 I'd just say (I'm sorry) and I'm here for you in whatever way. He'd be foolish to reject that offer. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 To be fair Holly, and I know this is my opinion, from what I have read, they both need to learn about how to support each other. In this situation, she should have not been so needy. It is not his responsibility to coddle her when he is focusing on a parent's health issue. She sounds very insecure. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 I know him.... nothing can fix it right now. He needs space and to needs to miss me. But I struggle with that. I am sure he will miss you but he needs more than that. He needs to trust you, trust that you are capable of supporting him during stressful times likes this. Trust that you are capable of putting your anxieties and neediness aside and act unselfishly and empathetically. Are you capable of these things? So far he has no evidence of that. Why did it take him not speaking to you for you to realize how selfish you were? Link to comment
MrSweetHarmony Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 In this situation, she should have not been so needy. It is not his responsibility to coddle her when he is focusing on a parent's health issue. She sounds very insecure. I agree she shouldn't be coddled, I wasn't thinking she should be, I was thinking she should be valued as a human being and treated fairly. Link to comment
Ery1988 Posted March 5, 2017 Author Share Posted March 5, 2017 Thanks.... we are meant to be a couple and if he loves me he should be there for me too and worry about me too.... and he should come to me with his stress so I can help him Link to comment
MrSweetHarmony Posted March 5, 2017 Share Posted March 5, 2017 Thanks.... we are meant to be a couple and if he loves me he should be there for me too and worry about me too.... and he should come to me with his stress so I can help him You're welcome, it's so beautiful when two people who love each other somehow come together in difficult circumstances. Link to comment
Ery1988 Posted March 5, 2017 Author Share Posted March 5, 2017 We are in a very difficult situation cos I met him during my divorce and my x husband has made life for him with me untenable... somehow we have kept coming back to each other for 2 yrs now Link to comment
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