luisannalui Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 So, today I want to send that last message. Yes, again. I'm on day #22 I don't want to give up so many days of hard work. But I'm very upset at the fact that she left the state without picking up the clothes and without allowing me to say good bye to baby son. Why? because baby daddy said no. "J" said in front of dad that mommy bought bunch of cute clothes for him. He was happy. But dad said that I'm not his mom, that I do not exist, and that he's there to buy him clothes. All of the clothes that he has its because I bought it. I bought more for him because he had none when he was a baby sitter. He asked mom to buy him clothes but she didn't as she didn't have time for him. I wanted to make him happy and all I did was create a false illusion on him. Right now I'm fighting with my demons. Should I send it or not? My mind says NO, for what? What am I going to earn with this? Nothing, she left already. But my heart say YES. So this is the message: You didn't bother to pick up J clothes or allowed me to say good bye to him. Its not the clothes that bother me, I did it to make him happy and because of your fault once again I created a false illusion on him so that you cowardly allow dad to tell him that I do not exist, dragging your own child with your instability. "J" is not to blame for having an immature father and a ungrateful weak mother who lets herself be manipulated by an abuser. (This part is sarcastically) But as you said, I hurt him. I hurt him by not allowing him to enter my apartment when he went like a crazy to knock on our door at 1AM. I hurt him by getting into a fight with him for disrespecting you and J. As I according to you I pressured you to put a protection order against him, and you rewarded him by returning to him so that he almost kill you. I rather tell you nothing. You have enough having to deal with an abusive man all your life. And that's is an instability that I do not what in mine. Therefore, I would ever create false illusion to J. Link to comment
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