Iknowaline Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Me-31 Him-32 Ok--- so I met this guy couple of months ago....we hit it off immediately and were hooked after the first date. I have been single and have had my ups and down with men these past 2 years - but this time it was different. Unlike the previous men I had dated I felt different with this one. I never had to guess if he liked me....he always showed it.. He is hilarious, attentive, and knows how to be serious when needed. Our chemistry was amazing- never a dull moment-- even my friends noticed it..He literally would call, message me multiple times per day, sing to me.....we both have busy schedules and when we didn't see each other we would skype or facetime....this is how much we enjoyed eachother... so....Last Monday we meet for a long lunch...he tells me he has to go back to Italy (we live in Spain) in July because his father is being forced into retirement (under his doctors advice) ....they are both dentists..he has to go back to take over the family clinic.. he doesn't want to really as he doesn't get along with his father at all. anyways, things went well....we left eachother and he gave me a kiss. The next day he texted and said " I prefer to stay alone in this period of truth...I do not have the time and the head to be able to share something with someone..I am sorry... I have so much fun with you and have gotten so close with you, but I cannot give you what you want.. I am nervous and need to spend alot of time with my friends" ..... I wrote back "Well i can't say anything other than ok...it was fun and i hope everything goes ok".... I didn't want to appear desperate or dramatic... I really have missed him this past week.. I messaged him on whatsapp a couple of hours ago a photo of a Spanish book (my spanish isn't perfect and he always laughs at me) and asked "How is everything? are you feeling better?" As soon as he read it he responded "Eso muy bien, tired but good..and you" I was excited because #1 he wrote back immediately and #2 he asked how i was which leaves the convo open... I said i have allergies but good...the rext went through but he didn't read it- i then sent another text right after asking "did you work all weekend" (he is a dentist and has weird hours) but the message wasn't delivered..whcih means he cut his phone off.... I am a little sad because if he had wanted to talk to me he would have continued...but it was late and he goes to bed early... I miss this guy like crazy...and he has to miss me too as just 2 days before he left me he was with me and it was normal.. btw this guy also told me he loved me a few weeks ago... I laughed and said "what, why?!" he said "i dont care if you dont love me i love you" and again... one morning he looked at me and said "maybe i really do love you" I never said anythnig... again it has been 2 months but a very intense 2 months... of speaking every single day ....he is leaving in 5 months....i get it...better hurt now than later...but the romantic side of me is thinking "he will only be a 2 hour flight away" i also get he is very stressed out....but i miss being with him, speaking with him daily... but i want to respect his decision and his space...i am trying to play it cool..but i want to say so much more!! but i dont want to push him away...I am hoping he will message me tomorrow... what is the best way to react if and when he does....what do i do... I mean i don't want to stress him out more by throwing myself at him... I dont want to make this about myself when he is going through such a drastic change. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Sorry this happened. It sounds like you had a lot of fun and a good thing going for 2 mos. In a way he's trying not to lead you on since he made the decision to go home. it has been 2 months but a very intense 2 months... of speaking every single day ....he is leaving in 5 months....he tells me he has to go back to Italy. he texted and said " I prefer to stay alone in this period of truth...I do not have the time and the head to be able to share something with someone..I am sorry... I have so much fun with you and have gotten so close with you, but I cannot give you what you want.. I am nervous and need to spend alot of time with my friends" ..... Link to comment
Iknowaline Posted March 1, 2017 Author Share Posted March 1, 2017 he has to go home though....his family owns 2 clinics and his dad can no longer run them because his doctor ordered him to retire... he doesn't want to but feels obligated bc its a family business Link to comment
J Miracle Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Did he ever invite you to Italy to visit or anything? Link to comment
Iknowaline Posted March 1, 2017 Author Share Posted March 1, 2017 before he found out the news of him having to relocate.. yes .. he wanted to make a trip together in April Link to comment
Iknowaline Posted March 1, 2017 Author Share Posted March 1, 2017 when he told me he was going back to Italy at lunch last week... I was shocked but didn't want to be dramatic... i just listened mainly Link to comment
Iknowaline Posted March 1, 2017 Author Share Posted March 1, 2017 He always knew he would take over the clinics.... but his dad wasn't supposed to retire until 2020 Link to comment
Pretzel Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 If he's saying that he loves you so soon and it all was so intense and full on, that can often be a red flag sadly....he may just be a passionate person, but decided to switch off since he has found out he has to go home. I think instead of having this lingering hope, it would be best to stop playing it cool and just meet and talk to him, and tell him how you feel. You can only have certainty if you speak to him directly; don't be afraid of saying what you want. It is better to confront that than to hold onto something that may not happen ultimately. Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 So much and so intense in just 2 months? And to say ILU? Whoa... yeah.. a little too much. I think he came to notice this as well- so he's backed off. And yes, is best to end things now instead of dragging it on.. As mentioned... some things in this seem like Red flags. Try to keep things on a gradual increase when you meet someone.. dont jump in with both feet- or believe it is 'love' when you barely know each other . Link to comment
Iknowaline Posted March 1, 2017 Author Share Posted March 1, 2017 He was the main one calling/texting/asking to see me... i was actually surprised in the beginning... i don't think i loved him- as i didn't say anything when he told me... but i really had a connection with me and could have seen myself loving him.. he never wrote back after i asked if he worked over the weekend..and i know he is not at the clinic today..so it means he doesn't want to talk... should i just leave it or stop being a coward and actually say "i miss you" Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 If he's ignoring your contact, don't to this or seem desperate after a breakup. He knows your number and isn't contacting you, right? stop being a coward and actually say "i miss you" Link to comment
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