This is just weird

[Jetta]

I'm happy about getting divorced. I don't hate my husband, but I don't love him. I'm not happy that it hurts him and that I'm breaking up the family, but I feel so excited and free. It's strange to me that I'm having these feelings. I mean he's a descent guy but he's just not the right guy for me. I'm acting so out of character that I'm starting to scare myself. I honestly don't really understand why I'm feeling so positive about this, it really makes no sense to me.

[sparkler624]

You just sound relieved. It is completely normal to be excited when all of your stress goes away. Try to remain sympathic to your ex's and your family's feelings though, but then live it up!!

[Jetta]

Oh I have been, that's what a bit freaky. Oh it's loads of fun but when reality hits boy I hope I'm still happy with my choices.

[CarrieB123]

How long were you married?

 

Why are you getting divorced?

 

Do you have children?

[Jetta]

Married 4 1/2 years. Together 7 years (met him during the seperation/divorce of my abusive/cheating 1st husband). I wanted nothing to do with men, I had no desire to be in a relationship but he would just hang around. I've never had strong feelings for him I married for the wrong reasons (mainly because I thought my son needed a male role model). Like I said he's not a bad guy, not a great guy either, and I don't love him and was starting to hate my kid because a lot of the reasons I married this man was related to having my son. My soon to be ex and I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter. I figured we could share custody, and I really just want to be away from him. He's still hanging and trying to understand why I want to leave and honestly I just hate being married.

[DN]

sparkler624 has a good point - try to do as little harm to your ex as possibe. From what you say he did nothing to deserve this except love you and make a home for you and your son. If you do not love him then you are doing the right thing, but understand that he will be even more hurt if he sees that you are excited to be rid of him.

[annie24]

So Jetta - I am curious - I'm 24, and I don't want to be in your shoes 7 years from now. (no offense! ) Did you feel from day 1 that things weren't quite right with him, but you just tried to make things work? Or did you think he was the perfect guy for you, but once you were married for a while, you didn't feel that way anymore?

 

I ask this because the last guy I dated for a bit (a few months), I felt from day 1 that he wasn't quite the right guy for me, but since, like you said, he seemed like a decent guy, I tried to force myself to fall for him. I really did like him a lot, and it saddended me that we broke up, but deep down I've always known that we weren't quite right for each other...

 

What's your feedback...?

[Jetta]

Annie,

Basically I knew from the start he wasn't the guy for me. I just caved to peer pressure really. My mom said give him a chance after I told her I didn't like him. My best friend who was casual friends with him thought he'd be good for me and kept talking me into seeing him. Eventually I moved in with him and then pretty much got to the point that marriage seemed like the right thing to do.

 

We have numerous reasons to divorce, I'd just rather not get into it all. My mother in-law has even said our marriage has survived what most wouldn't, so yes I've fought to make it work despite my true feelings. I am surprised that I feel so happy about leaving him considering my current state of affairs. But I think God is supporting me, even if everyone around me thinks I've lost my mind.

 

Oh and as far as providing a home for us, that would be his parents paying our mortgage and the state providing medical care for his child. He hasn't provided much but a warm body to sleep next to at night.

[justsweetgirl]

Feeling excited is normal. The things in life that most stress us: divorce, death, moving, changing jobs, etc, often cause us to run the gamut emotionally. You will probably, if you haven't already, experience shock, sadness, denial, anger, acceptance - everything. Why not ask someone who has gone through a divorce or do some reading up on it. In any case, enjoy your new life.