Opened up to healing but my heart is really closed.

[lucasargeseanu]

It has been one month since me and my girlfriend ended our 2 year and a half relationship. We have both accepted it was the good decision, but she still sends texts from time to time that I keep answering like the stupid guy that I am ( since she has a new relationship anyways ).

I have started taking my healing process very serious and by that I mean going to gym everyday, talking to numerous girls and seeing them but with no luck in finding them special or wanting something with them.

Before my girlfriend I dated dozens of women, went in bed with 30-40 of them. I cannot find in my mind or in my circle of friends a woman that I find more interesting, attractive or special.

Even as I was writing this post, I received a message from my ex: " How are you doing? "

I go out with women or friends and there are times when my mind just shuts down everyone and thinks of her. It's f**king frustrating. I think it's more of an obsession than something else.

I do not want to go to therapy as I think I'm still young and I always thought you are the best psychiatrist for yourself.

My ex-girlfriend wasn't very smart, but I like smart women , and I know some...

My ex-girlfriend didn't have a very great family and I know some that have an incredible family to be a part of.

My ex-girlfriend didn't have personal dreams regarding her career or what she wants to do and I know women with incredible motivation that are musicians , actors, doctors, lawyers, etc..

But I CANNOT FIND NONE OF THEM FIT FOR ME, especially regarding how they look.. My ex-girlfriend was, is and I think will be the most beautiful woman on earth. What is wrong with me?

[Betterwithout]

It has been one month

 

Those five words above summarize your situation. Most people take years to find someone they truly love.

Be patient. In the meantime, continue with your healing process. If you haven't already begun, I suggest writing a journal. Jot down your feelings, dreams, etc in there. This journal is for you and no one else.

[Doc Blaze]

You cannot rush it or force it.

 

1 month is nothing. I stopped talking to my ex a few months ago and I still think about her daily. it doesn't hurt like it used to but I still get that horrible feeling sometimes. I can def see myself healing though.

 

 

This is going to take a while..

 

I think you should stop worrying about finding the one, let yourself heal and cut off contact with your ex. You will not be able to heal with your ex contacting, especially a lot.

[shessofly]

You cannot rush it or force it.

 

1 month is nothing. I stopped talking to my ex a few months ago and I still think about her daily. it doesn't hurt like it used to but I still get that horrible feeling sometimes. I can def see myself healing though.

 

 

This is going to take a while..

 

I think you should stop worrying about finding the one, let yourself heal and cut off contact with your ex. You will not be able to heal with your ex contacting, especially a lot.

 

Agree with all of this - especially the bolded. Healing time is delayed when contact is not cut.

[Wiseman2]

Keep doing what you're doing including meeting women for coffee, etc. even if it feels like robot mode right now. Things are still too new and raw and yeah, it's time for complete no contact.

 

Eventuality you'll look over a cup of coffee and someone will seem special, but the ex needs to be fully erased. Don't let those breadcrumbs mess with your heart and mind.

 

Post this on your fridge 6751408]

My ex-girlfriend wasn't very smart, but I like smart women

My ex-girlfriend didn't have a very great family and I know some that have an incredible family to be a part of.

My ex-girlfriend didn't have personal dreams regarding her career or what she wants to do and I know women with incredible motivation that are musicians , actors, doctors, lawyers, etc..

[lucasargeseanu]

It's awful. Now she insists in having sex with me and saying she wants to give me as a birthday present a night I won't forget ( my birthday is coming up on the 7th of March ) its so funny that she is now with another guy but still thinks of me and I told her she should stop doing all these things and respect her decision, that guy and myself as a matter of fact. She answered with " I understand. You are right, but I want to talk to you. I miss you"

She has some issues.. like fo' real!

[Wiseman2]

Was she always this promiscuous and a cheater?

Now she insists in having sex with me and saying she wants to give me as a birthday present a night I won't forget. she is now with another guy

[lucasargeseanu]

Was she always this promiscuous and a cheater?

 

NO! Never.