A Different Break

[wafflewave]

So Im in college and met this girl at a party at the start of November. I got her number and we started talking, I'd go to her dorm and we'd text. We instantly hit it off though like the sparks flew and all that fun stuff. We went to parties together and always were together and told each other everything. After thanksgiving I slept over her dorm the first time but we didn't have sex, I wasn't in it for that. From here to the end of the semester, Dec 15th we slept over 7 times and always did things together and talked all the time however we were never officially dating. Her best friend is her roomate and one day I was in the room and her mom called, I pretended I wasn't there, and asked if we were dating. She looked at me and smiled as her roomate said she didn't know and then brushed it off. So during this Era I also found out I would be suspended for the next semester because I was caught with weed, which I stopped smoking when I met her and she recognized that. Anyway the last few days before I left she spent in my arms crying for several hours and I did too. Before I leftwe told each other we love each other. The rest of December and up until the first week of January we were always in touch. There were alot of times though that I could tell she was hiding something so I'd ask. One time she said she thought she was losing me and I assured she wasn't. But everytime she'd say there's nothing else wrong and I could tell. Now I realize I shouldn't have pushed but let me continue. After she recovered from getting her wisdom teeth pulled she invited me to her house and I slept over. I met her family and it was nice, but I could see she was different around them, understandably, but it was like we were just friends when her parents were around. If we held hands she'd immediately let go if someone came in and things like that. Anyway about a week later I asked her what she considered us and she said way more than friends but not dating. I asked her if she wanted to but she said she wasn't ready and couldn't explain it. This didn't make any sense to me. During the few weeks left of break she never asked to see me or do anything, we're 2 hours apart but we both can travel. I asked her about this and all I'd get was a sorry. One night I wanted to talk about us and our situation but she was busy so we put it off for the next day. I was a little irritated that she didn't say she couldn't talk and had me wait way past our scheduled time but I kept it to myself. The next day came and we scheduled another time and we didn't really talk all day and then she didn't say she couldn't talk. I got angry that she couldn't atleast say I can't talk and told her. I also asked her about why she doesn't ask to see me and things like that but she only apologized. This led to an argument where she said her life doesn't revolve around me and at times I was clingy but only when she was too and I told her I didn't feel like she respected me and I was losing her because of our situation. *the whole break we always said we'd support each other through my suspension* Sorry this is long but she said we should stay friends for the semester and I was shocked and hurt because of what we were together. I told her I don't think that's the way to do it and we should work like we planned to but she said she was angry and that she had no other choice because it'd hurt too much with me gone. At this point I think I should have given her space but we continued talking. The semester just started and she told me she's not talking to anyone else and she'd be open to a relationship when I get back in September. From my POV I'm scared because that 7 months away and anything can happen. But she's different and I believe her but I have friends telling me she broke up with me. I guess I'm kind of answering this question myself but I feel like I shouldnt start any conversations for a couple weeks to see how sheshe feeling without me talking to her. Anyway what should I do and what does this look like from an outsider? Again I believe she's different and she said the same that's why we were together, not for sex or boredom or things like that. Thank you

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this but she gave you an answer "she said way more than friends but not dating". Repeatedly asking her won't yield another answer even though that's what you had hoped. It would be best to lay back a bit and not cling or smother.

I asked her what she considered us and I asked her if she wanted to but she said she wasn't ready and couldn't explain it. This led to an argument where she said her life doesn't revolve around me and at times I was clingy

[evad1]

So Im in college and met this girl at a party at the start of November. I got her number and we started talking, I'd go to her dorm and we'd text. We instantly hit it off though like the sparks flew and all that fun stuff. We went to parties together and always were together and told each other everything. After thanksgiving I slept over her dorm the first time but we didn't have sex, I wasn't in it for that. From here to the end of the semester, Dec 15th we slept over 7 times and always did things together and talked all the time however we were never officially dating. Her best friend is her roomate and one day I was in the room and her mom called, I pretended I wasn't there, and asked if we were dating. She looked at me and smiled as her roomate said she didn't know and then brushed it off. So during this Era I also found out I would be suspended for the next semester because I was caught with weed, which I stopped smoking when I met her and she recognized that. Anyway the last few days before I left she spent in my arms crying for several hours and I did too. Before I leftwe told each other we love each other. The rest of December and up until the first week of January we were always in touch. There were alot of times though that I could tell she was hiding something so I'd ask. One time she said she thought she was losing me and I assured she wasn't. But everytime she'd say there's nothing else wrong and I could tell. Now I realize I shouldn't have pushed but let me continue. After she recovered from getting her wisdom teeth pulled she invited me to her house and I slept over. I met her family and it was nice, but I could see she was different around them, understandably, but it was like we were just friends when her parents were around. If we held hands she'd immediately let go if someone came in and things like that. Anyway about a week later I asked her what she considered us and she said way more than friends but not dating. I asked her if she wanted to but she said she wasn't ready and couldn't explain it. This didn't make any sense to me. During the few weeks left of break she never asked to see me or do anything, we're 2 hours apart but we both can travel. I asked her about this and all I'd get was a sorry. One night I wanted to talk about us and our situation but she was busy so we put it off for the next day. I was a little irritated that she didn't say she couldn't talk and had me wait way past our scheduled time but I kept it to myself. The next day came and we scheduled another time and we didn't really talk all day and then she didn't say she couldn't talk. I got angry that she couldn't atleast say I can't talk and told her. I also asked her about why she doesn't ask to see me and things like that but she only apologized. This led to an argument where she said her life doesn't revolve around me and at times I was clingy but only when she was too and I told her I didn't feel like she respected me and I was losing her because of our situation. *the whole break we always said we'd support each other through my suspension* Sorry this is long but she said we should stay friends for the semester and I was shocked and hurt because of what we were together. I told her I don't think that's the way to do it and we should work like we planned to but she said she was angry and that she had no other choice because it'd hurt too much with me gone. At this point I think I should have given her space but we continued talking. The semester just started and she told me she's not talking to anyone else and she'd be open to a relationship when I get back in September. From my POV I'm scared because that 7 months away and anything can happen. But she's different and I believe her but I have friends telling me she broke up with me. I guess I'm kind of answering this question myself but I feel like I shouldnt start any conversations for a couple weeks to see how sheshe feeling without me talking to her. Anyway what should I do and what does this look like from an outsider? Again I believe she's different and she said the same that's why we were together, not for sex or boredom or things like that. Thank you

 

Sorry to hear that also. 7 months is a long time but 7 months could also mean a lot could happen with you too. Continue to grow. Good luck.