OMG horrible mistake, what should I do??

[aloneinBK]

My bf of 2 years and I have been broken up for nearly 3 months now. We met up once for a 'debrief' that ended with the door kinda open, but I haven't heard from him since aside from a short happy birthday message. I desperately want to be back with him but I know I can't be the one to reach out.

 

I recently ordered something from a friend's online business. I checked the tracking today and saw that it shipped to his house b/c the system had saved a previous order I had shipped there and my new address didn't overwrite it. I do NOT want this to be our first contact in months, a silly package error. Plus, I think he's gonna think I did this deliberately.

 

Should I:

1) Have my friend text him and explain the mistake and ask him to send it back to her?

2) Wait for him to text me about it and have a really awkward exchange?

3) Wait for him to text my roommate about it? I'm scared of this b/c it'd mean he really doesn't want to speak with me or ever be together again.

4) Text him and explain the accident?

 

I am leaning toward option 1 or 2. Maybe 1 so I don't have to be in contact with him. It'll hurt so much, I'm still so in love with him.

 

The package should have arrived tonight--your quick advice is much appreciated!

[annie24]

I'd tell your friend right now to please change the shipping address before it ships and give her your address. I wouldn't bother with him getting the package because it could get messy and there's no need for that to happen.

 

Edit: I just saw that it may have already arrived. If so, I guess I'd just shoot a short email to your ex like, "Hi - I ordered something online and looking back at the invoice tonight, I think I had it shipped to your place by mistake (your address was stored and I didn't catch that error in time). If you get the package, can you either send it back or I can come pick it up? thanks!

[MissCanuck]

OP, why all the anxiety over a guy who knew you well for 2 years? It's an innocent mistake and I think you are over-blowing the consequences in your mind. If he's a reasonable guy, I don't think he's going to see this as a big deal.

 

Take a deep breath. Do you have a friend who could pick it up for you, from him? That way you don't need to see him. Beyond that, I recommend just sending him a short text as annie24 suggested.

[aloneinBK]

OK, I slept and now it seems not as bad. But it's still embarrassing!

 

I'm so anxious because I'm still holding out hope that he wants to get back together. And I don't want this to be our first contact in a while because it's so transactional. And also, any time I see his name pop up anywhere, it makes me spiral through negative emotions. NC is honestly really helping me and this is such a silly reason to break it!

[Iggy5129]

Ask him to drop it at your place when you're not there or have a friend go get it. If you can't stand speaking to him then have a friend make the contact. It's not a big deal. Relax. 😃

[empath]

I can totally understand how this small issue can make you anxious given your state of recovery, aloneinBK! It makes total sense to me – on the one hand, this mistaken delivery gives you an unexpected chance to make contact; on the other, you're afraid it will disrupt the knife's edge you're trying to sit on in getting him back. And you also seem to realize that that's the state of recovery you're in – that that hope may be fading, even if you're not in a position to let it go yet.

 

I think that the others are right – in the grand scheme of things, it's not as catastrophic as it seems. If you haven't chosen already, I would probably go with being direct with him yourself (a brief, direct explanation) and having a friend pick it up, if possible. If I were him, I don't think it would sway me one way or another (though there's a lot of context I don't know!).

[aloneinBK]

Empath, that's exactly it.

 

Here's what happened: He emailed me. It was a lovely email, mostly words of encouragement about something else big going on in my life. I replied and thanked him and told him he could drop it off with my roommate. As much as I want to see him, I can't, not unless he wants to get back together.

 

Thanks for handling my freakout, ENA! This place has helped me so much during the past few months. Much love.