How can I resolve this argument?

[Humptyjack]

This morning I said to my fiancé "I forgot to add that £100 I lent you to the total" he was fine with this and then asked how much is the total. I said £1094.

He flipped and accused me of adding money without telling him. This is completely untrue and told him that I feel disrespected that he's shouting at me and making me feel bad for trying to help him financially.

He stormed off to the shower and was surprised that he was still angry at me after his shower. I said calmly "don't you think it was a bit uncalled for shouting at me like that?" He never said anything.

After a moment I then asked "aren't you talking to me now?" He said he didn't want to argue. I said I never did and that it was him that shouted not me.

I told him the way he shouted at me made me feel bad and disrespected to which he replied "oh whatever".

He then left for work without.

[gebaird]

As a general rule I don't loan money to friends or family members, as it can often taint the relationship. If you are going to lend money, I recommend doing it more formally -- with written & signed contracts, like a bank. Clearly spell out the terms so there can be no question about what is owed and why. It may seem impersonal, but it prevents tension and false accusations.

 

It's not a good sign that money problems are driving a wedge between you when you aren't even married yet. Why did he need the money? Is shouting common in this relationship? Why would you want to marry someone who treats you this way?

[Lester]

"How can I resolve this argument?"

- It's not an argument, instead, one-sided abuse.

 

1094 is a cheap lesson.

[Iggy5129]

When you give money to someone consider it a gift. If you get it back it's nice but don't expect it. I hope you realize when you're married there is no his and my money. It's our money. So you may want to stop being an accountant and start being his wife and teammate. You guys should learn to talk about money in a mature fashion before you're married. Read the book the Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. And listen to his podcast. Is your fiancé in a lot of debt?

 

Money is one of the biggest reasons people divorce. Instead of fighting get together as a team take a look at your finances and divise a plan of attack. This could be a great learning moment for you as a couple. Don't let it drive you apart it can bring you together.

[Wiseman2]

He doesn't really want to pay you back so resents your bringing it up or running a tab. Keep accurate record and be crystal clear that it's a loan not a gift.

 

Rather than running a tab, stop the lending and set up a repayment arrangement with accurate receipts documentation, etc....Or else consider it a gift.... because he does.

This morning I said to my fiancé "I forgot to add that £100 I lent you to the total" he was fine with this and then asked how much is the total. I said £1094. He flipped and accused me of adding money without telling him.

[j.man]

I'm not quite getting it. Was the 100 being added to a total tab of money you'd lent him? Or was it being added to other shared expenses he didn't approve?