didn't want her ....but now i can't get her out of my head

[ankz74]

hi

somebody explain this to me. I was miserable with her for the 3 years that I was with her. I really wanted out somehow or the other. But then i managed out and she started seeing my best friend within 1 months of our breakup and I am a miserable wreck now. Its happened to me before with her and also my girlfriend before that. I just don't understand, I mean I was very unhappy when i was with her, but just the second I find out she is ith somebody else all hell breaks lose. The last case am obvisouldy lost on how to deal with the situation coz it was my dearest friend she is seeing now. I get all scared thinking off what I would tell them if i end up meeting them. Now I want her back so desperately that I can't seem to recall why I was so miserable with her in the first place. It happeneded to me with the same girl when we broke up for a bit and I was ok bout it till the point I found out she was with other guys that could have proved potential options. I ran back to her, got her back and then went back to my miserable life with her. ...and then obviously i wanted out again till she started seeing my best friend after which i just completely lost out on how i feel.

[Troubled Girl]

Don't want to be rude....but I think this is an issue within yourself you need to deal with....possibly a security issue?

 

Why were you not happy with your ex's? Was it something they caused or you did? maybe that is something you need to look at....maybe your faults (which might have caused these feelings) do not lie within these other men and you see that and it gets to you...

 

remember, someone who starts dating shortyl after a relationship ends is just trying to heal some pain temporarily. My advice to you is to look within yourself and see what you can change. In the short term, instead of running back to your ex, give yourself a few months and then see if that is what you really want....remember if its only a few months there is a good chance that after 3 years you can work things out again....if you both want too...

 

I am almost positive that when you find the right girl...you won't experience any of these problems...but its like the old saying...you must go through hundreds of wrong ones until you find the right one....good luck and keep your head up!

[PerfectTeenFlirt]

OK. I really don't want to seem like a know it all, but it seems as if you are jealous. I mean you say that when you are in the realationship you are very unhappy but as soon as you "get out" and they find someone new or they are beginning to date you want them back. It seems like the old saying " you want what you can't have ". You might not be as lucky with this girl ( the 3 year realstionship ) to have another chance with her. After you get hurt by a person you try to move on and maybe thats what both your ex's did. You may get her back, you may not. But if I was you ( and I'm not ) I would not try to get back with your ex. Because if you were unahppy once, it might end up repating old patterns. I'm not sure if this will help you but this is a tough call on what you should do. Good luck on future realationships .

[Katelyn55655]

I agree with the last two posts. It sounds like you are getting jealousy and love mixed up. And it does sound like there's a wee bit of insecurity seeping in your soul. Maybe a teeny bit of needyness. Now might be a good time to be selfish and just focus on yourself. Figure out what makes YOU happy and makes you feel secure. Then go DO what makes you happy and secure. Once you have re-established a healthy relationship with yourself (you're number one!), you'll feel better and you will be able to handle any relationship you get into...because you won't NEED the relationship...you'll WANT it.

 

When people jump from relationship to relationship without allowing time for healing it generally means something unhealthy like: they are afraid to face their feelings, they are insecure, they are addicted to love, they think relationships are the source of happiness, etc., so they use the new person to handle the need. Relationships like that are generally doomed right from the get-go.

 

Good luck.

Katelyn

[sheridansc]

my ex two years cheated on me twice! proberly more. I know you wen haters out there are saying its our fault... but

 

1. the girl should not have done that.

 

2. he is no friend of yours, no guy friend of mine would do that. all my other friends would kick his ass.

 

here is what you do... let it go. She has issues and aint worth your time. Your friend ... well when she does the same stuff to him tell him to F-OFF.

 

go out meet new people ... make new friends enjoy life and never let a woman do this to you.!

 

I not a woman hater ladies ... i just dont think there is a good one left. I treated my ex like a queen... i did more for her than for myself. I took her back once outta the kindness of my heart ... but twice ... heck no!

 

in a shell dude ... its hard to do, but get over her. dont call her ... email her ... drive another way home if you have to. leave her alone ... hate her and dont make the same mistakes again in your life ... live and learn and move on.

 

sheridan!