6 days no contact and contacted but im ok

[Tinkyonks]

i went 6 days, then last night i was so upset i finally was able to cry, where for the past few weeks i havent. i messaged him while in this state and he didnt respond... but even when i messaged i knew it wouldnt matter if he did or didnt.

 

he doesnt love me, and hes very selfish and really quite cold in how he has treated me. i dont want a life with someone like that. someone who cant see past their own needs andis not willing to have a normal sharing relationship.

 

my head was still banging when i woke up but i do feel that the sadness has been released. im hoping i can move forward now as for the first time in weeks i didnt have a nightmare and woke feeling happy.

[cherubrock]

I don't see that this post elicits much of a response other than I'm glad your expressing yourself and acknowledging things...I know how cold NC can feel. How cold texting can be, how dismissive it can allow people to be.

[Tinkyonks]

I don't see that this post elicits much of a response other than I'm glad your expressing yourself and acknowledging things...I know how cold NC can feel. How cold texting can be, how dismissive it can allow people to be.

 

youre right it doesnt really, i think i just felt happy and wanted to share it with someone. its been such a hard few weeks and ive come on here just to talk and work through it which has really helped. i just felt so happy this morning when i woke up happy rather than with that sinking feeling when it all comes rushing back the firat minute you wake up.

 

i just hope i can begin to feel better now

 

thank you

[jennydanielle7]

You'll be okay, and you will get through this. Although I kinda wished you didn't messaged him in the first place, but hey, EVERYONE literally makes this little mistake once or twice in our lifetime. I would block him honestly.

 

The great thing about blocking someone is that you aren't expecting a reply, you are basically focusing on YOU! Which is the most important thing in a break-up. It may hurt for awhile to be honest, but over time it will ease. It is also great that you acknowledge the fact that your ex wasn't the guy for you; but I must warn you, you will start to idealize him with rose-colored glasses as time progresses. "Maybe if I did this..." or "We did have some good memories... maybe I screwed up."

 

Whenever you start doubting yourself, just remember we always put our ex's in a different light than who they really are realistically. You'll find the right guy for you eventually.

 

Anyways, I wish you the best of lucks!

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. It sounds like you were numb at first then broke down. Maybe it would be best to delete his number and stay no contact and block him.

 

Also develop a circle of friends and family you can talk to. It's ok to "let it all out" but do that in a journal or in therapy where it has some value rather than to and ex and then regretting it or wondering if they'll see it/respond.

i messaged him while in this state and he didnt respond... but even when i messaged i knew it wouldnt matter if he did or didnt. im hoping i can move forward now

[Tinkyonks]

thank you for your thoughts and advice. i think the past few weeks have been so hard, and ive also had other things to worry about with my family. something inside me has just switched i think. there are so many thing in our lives, problems that we have to deal with... becoming over burdened really scared me, i had some serious migraine headaches, my son has had some health issues. i just thought 'this has to stop'.

 

At the end of the day, he doesnt want to be with me anymore, unless it the way he wants to live. part time gf/compartmentalised. i dont want to live like that, i want to share all of me with someone and for them to share themselves with me, i enjoy closeness, i enjoy sharing, i enjoy openess and emotional intimacy... those are the things that feed my soul. i realised that as much as i love him as a person, he has a different yearning...to be separate from someone emotionally... so we are not meant to go any further on our journey together, otherwise we'll both continue to be unfulfilled. ive made peace with him and i feel better now

 

now i am starting to spend my time doing things that i am curious about and im thinking about going on holiday alone... starting somewhere near and then branching out as i get more confident. ive always wanted to travel and im going to start going to those places ive always wanted to go. im not going to wait for this man or that man, a man that this or a man that wants that... im just going to create a 'things to do before you die' list and start doing them

 

so i'm beginning to feel happy again. my whole life ive been in relationships, of one kind or another, and quite honestly im a little tired of it all now lol