esboogie143 Posted March 25, 2005 Share Posted March 25, 2005 Just wanted to vent that I am still very sad since he last called me apologizing for everythin and simply saying that he'll miss me. Within my heart I feel like there is no turning back and he has gone away for good! its just sooo sad!! He has let me down and im soooo sad along with being angry and everything else mixed in. But I will not call him for there would be no reason to Just one sad situation that has me with anxiety and with thought after thought! But what can u do!! absolutely deal with the pain and move on...do u guys agree? I know thats a stupid question Link to comment
DN Posted March 25, 2005 Share Posted March 25, 2005 Yes, sadly, I agree, I think that is the best plan. Link to comment
Fif Angel Posted March 25, 2005 Share Posted March 25, 2005 hey hon, sorry to hear that things are going bad for you. This is the guy who was just recently screaming and yelling at you down the phone wasn`t it? And now he`s saying he misses you...it`s amazing how inconsistent some people can be. My ex has been back in contact with me too. I am being very tentative but I think had he been verbally abusive to me on the phone I would have told him where to go... It is very very hard I know. I think, assuming you have decided that there is definitely no way you want back with him, the best thing to do is to stay strong and stand firm with your no contact etc Link to comment
esboogie143 Posted March 25, 2005 Author Share Posted March 25, 2005 No...he didnt say that he misses me he friekin; say I WILL miss u!!! What a friekin' bastard!! im sorry but just thinking about it makes me sooo angry cuz obviously by saying that he's saying (no i still dont want to be with u) but i WILL miss u!!!! GO TO HELL!!! SEE...IM SOOO HAPPY THAT IT MAKES ME ANGRY!!! That gives me the strentgh to not call him cuz if he's not making an effort to keep me then its worth it to leave him! Sadly it is! Link to comment
arwen Posted March 25, 2005 Share Posted March 25, 2005 Hey girl, I am so sorry for your pain. He has in fact proven again that he is really not the one you need in a relationship. You will get over it. I promise you that. Keep venting and crying here on the many (digital) shoulders as long as you need. Ilse. Link to comment
esboogie143 Posted March 25, 2005 Author Share Posted March 25, 2005 awwww.....thanks!!! Link to comment
sleeper59 Posted March 25, 2005 Share Posted March 25, 2005 you are so smart... i still can't stop calling my ex in the am . just like everything was normal.... but i still feel the pain... you can't make that go away....concentrate on you.... you are the important one here not him... he is the one that is loosing.. Link to comment
codaaurora Posted March 25, 2005 Share Posted March 25, 2005 Be strong, stay in touch with your feelings, don't forget this behaviour of his and NC. It's ok, we're here for you. We feel the pain you feel. It'll be ok in the long run! Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted March 26, 2005 Share Posted March 26, 2005 I am so sorry esboogie. Be strong, give it some time, and I promise things will be brighter, they always do. If there is anything we can do, just let us know Link to comment
HeavenLee Posted March 26, 2005 Share Posted March 26, 2005 Hi esboogie, Please believe me when I say that not contacting him is the best way for you to move on. And I don't just mean that you shouldn't call him, I mean that you should not respond to his calls either. As you can see, it's still not doing you any good and is only hurting you worse. Don't be angry at him, that's the type of person that he is and we all know it. Be angry at yourself because you are effectively letting him treat you this way over and over again. Don't answer his calls. If you accidently pick one up, either just hang straight up or politely tell him that you think he has said all he has to and there will be no more need for him to contact you, wish him well and hang up. Why do you actually waste your time listening to the manipulation that comes out of his mouth? Tomorrow he will abuse you again if you give him the chance. Then he will reel you back in again. I'm sure that he will miss you, it is only human to miss someone you have spent so much time with, but that doesn't mean that he loves you. His words don't hold weight because of the atrocious way he has treated you. Only you can break this cycle of sadness now. Stop letting him manipulate you and treat you like a fool. Stand up for yourself and decide not to take anymore of his cr*p. DO NOT communicate with him in anyway. Give yourself a chance to heal without either him or yourself initiating contact that only hurts you further. If he wanted to be with you, he would... but he has stated and shown that he doesn't want to... and that's his loss. But at the moment all you are doing is prolonging your agony because you are waiting for him to show some positive signs or ask you to come back. And what then? The same cycle all over again? You don't deserve a lifetime of torture from someone who clearly doesn't care about you, when there is someone else out there who will give it freely. I'm sorry you feel bad, and it will be tough. But it will only be as tough as you allow it to be. Letting him contact you, or trying to initiate contact may make you feel better for a little while, but the situation has not changed has it? And ultimately, no matter what, you are going to have to go through the pain of letting him go. May as well suck it up and do it sooner rather than later, instead of letting him dictate how you are feeling. Honestly, he probably is only keeping in contact to make his own healing easier. Keeping you around so that he can wean himself away from you much easier. Will you give him that satisfaction when it's hurting you so badly? It's up to YOU. Hope you are feeling okay and keep hanging in there... with NO CONTACT... Link to comment
esboogie143 Posted March 26, 2005 Author Share Posted March 26, 2005 You guys are simply the best!!! Its u guys honestly who has made me a bit stronger and thats why I have not contacted him nor do I have anydesires to. He has hurt me tremendously and im not gonna lie of course i think about him and i yearn for him...I mean its natural to do so but i know for sure that my fingers wont be dialing his number!!! Once again I appreciate and respect you all!!! I will keep u guys updated! Thanks for caring!!! Link to comment
HeavenLee Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Be proud of yourself esboogie. We are here for you for all the support you need, but you are the one that is making the changes for yourself. It's never easy. It is so tempting to fall back into old ways or to let all the unanswered questions get the best of us, but as long as you understand that these old ways are not helping you or changing the situation, you will keep being strong. You will have very bad days, but they will slowly get better. Just be patient with yourself and acknowledge and reward yourself when you feel you have done the best thing for yourself. Be proud that you are effectively taking control of your own life and making changes that ultimately, will bring only good things to you. And keep believing that there is someone out there who will love and cherish you. Who will think you are the most special person in the world to them. Because he is out there. You may not find him today or tomorrow, but you will. Until then keep growing and appreciating all the qualities that this heartbreaking situation will show you that you possess. Learn the lessons from this previous relationship and realise what you really are looking for from a partner, what you deserve, and don't settle for any less. I know that this is very hard for you esboogie. But I am proud that you are taking the first baby steps to turning your life around and triumphing out of despair. And believe me, you will. Link to comment
esboogie143 Posted March 27, 2005 Author Share Posted March 27, 2005 all i can say is thank you sooo much!!! Your words are heart felt every time!! Link to comment
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