VHSshowdown...you are right my friend!!!

[OUTOFTHEBLUE9]

I hear ya Keefy, I'm kinda bummed out today also. Maybe its the weather. Its almost been 48 hours since we chatted online, and since then she hasn't seen me online, called me or anything yet. I know she is busy studing for her exam tomorrow, and has to work today. Yesterday I kept myself busy and was ok w/ everything. This morning I was bummed when I woke up (I always am tho, w/o her cuddling beside me), but since then I was fine, until I got back from lunch today at work.

 

Trying not to have a beer at lunch anymore, makes me kinda depressed, and wanting to call her.

[keefy1972]

derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[vhshowdown]

Well, it sounds like she is being playful, so you know. I think it is a real good sign, but dont read into it too much. Stay level headed here keefy!!

If you think of it as just an email, you wont be up or down a few days from now. And dont answer right away, wait a day or two, or the weekend. But other thatn that, think it is real good news for ya dude...

 

Coda, sounds pretty good for you too. Except for continually putting down your guy friends, sounds like something may be changing for him here. I told you he still has feelings, and he does. Continue on the path you are on, you are doing great. Love to hear you say its not do or die anymore, this is good!!

 

Blue, cheer up guy. I am sorry you are down today. You will have days like these. Keep busy, keep your mind occupied, watch a funny movie. Glad to hear you arent having a beer at lunch either. I did that last year, and it was just a temporary fix!! The first days of NC are the toughest, but it gets better, trust me it does....

 

I left work a few hours early today. So, I just called my EX today and we talked for a little while before she got off. She still doesnt have her car fixed, and is having trouble getting parts for the foreign job.. So she didnt say, but I assume she is driving her bfs car, oh boy!! Then she said she has to go back to the doctor Thursday, get new glasses, and go to her moms again. So, "She will probably call me on Friday".... time will tell.

[OUTOFTHEBLUE9]

Well she sent me an email, I haven't opened it yet, its been sitting in my inbox since not long after my last post. I'm kinda affraid to open it, as it might stir up some emotions in me. But I'm so curious. I want to open it, and I know I will open it, just not right now I guess. It feels really weird, I want to, but I don't want too. Usually I would jump at her sending me an email, and when I got notification of it via a text message, I would drop everything to read and respond to it.

[keefy1972]

derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[keefy1972]

Read it Blue. It isnt reading them that you want to hold off on, it's responding.

 

Funny thing, while I was typing my las post, I got another email from her that contained the picture. In it she wrote, "I hope I sent this right. Let me know".

 

I looked at the picture and as I suspected, she looked great. Damn I miss her!!..

[OUTOFTHEBLUE9]

I finally read the email, I've been putting it off all night. It was actually better than I thought. I figured it would be, how come you aren't online anymore, or, where are you... that type of stuff. Instead, she was telling me what she is up too, studing of course, a little about her job. The kicker was she said she was thinking about seeing me this weekend, but she has a semester's worth of reading todo in 4 days, so it won't happen, but the next saturday is mine if I want (mentioned me fixing her car, yeah, right). Thanked me for sending her a bus schedule for the town where she is going to school this summer. She wished me a good day, and that was that. Oh, and she said she is going to try VERY hard to call me tonight. Should I answer it? I was thinking that she was going to call, because she has a big exam tomorrow, and I always make her sleep very well. I want to talk to her, but I don't feel like being interogated. Any thoughts?

 

Coda, I think thats a good sign. He obviously cares about you very much. Jelousy isn't a good thing, but in this case I think it shows you he still cares, and thinks about you a fair bit. He is always checking up on your website on you, and for new pictures, always asking about the new pics. I wouldn't read to much into it tho, and just keep things going the way you are. I hope to be in your position soon, not caring one way or another what happens. Congradulations on the Body for Life Challenge. I hope you win \

[vhshowdown]

Ok, came up with some interesting thoughts last nite, with keefy's help. I think my EX has been contacting me this past couple months. I have been non-committal towards her. I have been (and still am) unsure if I truly want to get back with her. I dont know!!

 

The Plan

But I had decided that I would let her "control" this non-relationship. The concept of a casual romance seems too meaningless to bother with. And I dont like what has been going on. So, what I have come with is I am going to turn the tables. I am now going to go after her. What I mean by that is to pursue her, like I have not in that last few months. I have let her call me, well, I am going to start calling her everyday. I have let her tell me when we are going out, well, I am going to continually ask her out until we do go out!! I am not going to be a pest, I am going act like someone who wants to be with her.

 

The more I have thought about it, the more I am realizing. I think she justs wants someone (hopefully me) to be there for her, to be with her. I dont think being missing in action, or giving her space, etc. works with her. Now, to do this I have got to keep my feelings in check. No lovey dovey stuff, no wussie stuff, get my confidence level up, just calling her up wanting to talk with her, get to know her all over again. Become a habit in her life kinda thing. And then pull back a little bit, so as to give her some space of course, but then hopefully she will look at it like she misses me type thing....

 

She is not happy with who she is with, I know this. I have to show her who I am all over again..... problem is she doesnt have a car right now, which sucks.

 

Now, this is where you guys come in.

1) I need to you guys to keep me level headed, no griping, no whining, etc...

2) she told me she leaves work, and goes home and doesnt do a whole lot, plays video games or watched TV. I need ideas of fun things to do (cheap) to get her interested in getting out of the house with me. I have a list started from another post a few weeks back, I need to plan stuff in advance with her, and get her interested in these things....

 

Date Ideas

1) Dinner and movie

2) Bowling

3) Out for drinks (coffee, beer, etc...)

4) Concerts

5) Sporting Events

6) Shopping

7) Performing Arts (Blue Man Group, etc.)

8) Pool/ Billiards

9) Putt-Putt Golf

10) Arcarde/ Go Carts

11) Festivals

12) Wine Tasting

13) Museums

14) Amusement Park

15) Picnics

16) Walk on Beach/ Park

17) Hiking

18) Reading

19) zoo or Aquarium

20) Dancing

21) Tours

22) Chess & board games

23) Cooking

24) Rollerblading

25) Swimming

26) The lake

[keefy1972]

derrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[codaaurora]

but the next saturday is mine if I want (mentioned me fixing her car, yeah, right).

 

Okay Blue, first things first. If she calls do not answer it. I don't know if I missed you on this or not and if you took the call, no big deal, but if she does call in the next couple of days, do not take the call. Don't respond to her email right away either. Wait 2 days. On the second day, spend most of it composing a quick, short, to the point email. Here's an example.

 

Hey there, sorry you haven't been able to reach me, things have been busy and I haven't really found the time to check in. Glad to hear all is well there with you. Next Saturday I might be able to do something but am not sure if I will have the time to work on your car. Hope you have a good day.

 

You see? Easy, short, and in control. You showing interest in being with her but laying down the law about doing favors for her. Your not her bf anymore and she can't expect you to immediately fit into the role of friend. If she does, put her in her place, like I showed you here.

 

Next Saturday I might be able to do something but am not sure if I will have the time to work on your car.

 

I know it's hard, trust me and believe me that I know it's hard, but you can do it Blue! Stay strong okay? We're here for you!

[codaaurora]

V!!

 

Now, this is where you guys come in.

1) I need to you guys to keep me level headed, no griping, no whining, etc...

2) she told me she leaves work, and goes home and doesnt do a whole lot, plays video games or watched TV. I need ideas of fun things to do (cheap) to get her interested in getting out of the house with me. I have a list started from another post a few weeks back, I need to plan stuff in advance with her, and get her interested in these things....

 

This is an excellent plan but Keefy is right, just remember, there are going to be good days AND bad days with this and you HAVE got to remember this. Always come to us first before making any rash decisions ok?

 

Oh and some of those were too mushy to start with. Walking on the Beach type of stuff. NOPE. Go with fun stuff, like Putt Putt, Go Carts, Amusement parks, stuff where you two are laughing together. Laughter is the worlds best medicine and can heal all wounds ok?

[vhshowdown]

I was thinking ask her to go shopping for clothes for me, this way I get her opinion, and that her opinion matters to me....

 

And coda, what is the name of that book again? I will probably go to Barnes this weekend and browse for it. I was just surfing and this popped up at me, what do you guys think, interesting reading?? I am thinking about getting it to:

 

link removed

[codaaurora]

Okay people, I have a new update!

 

The ex called again last night, pretty late (11pm, he was at work) and said "Hey TireBuster" (old joke, that was my friends Dad's nickname for me when the ex and I met for busting two tires one time and not knowing it), since then the ex has FAR passed me on that score and earned the title of TireBuster so when he said that I started laughing and asked how many tire's he busted this time. He started laughing and told me that he blew a tire on the way to work last night and bent the rim and then the other rim was chewed up. He asked if I knew how to get rims for his car and about how much they would be. (I know about cars and he doesn't, he always went to me for car stuff). I gave him the info and where he could go to buy the rims and figured that would be the end of the conversation but then he started joking around with me and bringing up funny things that we had done in the past. I started "copying" him and "doing his voice" and he was laughing so hard that he couldn't breath (he loves it when I do that stuff, he used to constantly ask me "Like how did I say that again?" and then laugh himself silly when I would immitate him. We talked and laughed for about 45 mins last night until I finally told him I had to go but that I had fun talking to him and he said me too and said goodnight to me very sweetly.

 

So guys, give me some opinions here. What's your take? I know that he is still checking out myspace, he went there last night, so I know that he saw I have plans to go out this entire weekend (going out with co-workers on friday, a date on saturday, pool and drinks with friends on sunday, another date on tuesday). Maybe this is having an effect on him? I haven't been calling him at all, he's the one who initiates the calls and then I return them at my leisure. I'm not getting my hopes up because to be honest with you, when I am done with this challenge, I'm going to be in such great shape that I know with a new body and my personality (tootin my own horn here) that I can get any guy I want, so am not so scared anymore of being alone, now it's just missing him as we used to be when we were good. Still not life and death for me though. So guys, is that pretty promising?

[codaaurora]

V

 

The name of that book is: How to get your Lover Back by Blase Harris MD.

 

It's a great book! You can also try one that Chai suggested me that I'm gonig to get this weekend myself.

 

"Get Anyone To Do Anything" by David J. Lieberman.

 

Anyway, buy that book before I kick your tail bub!

[chai714]

How to get your Lover Back by Blase Harris MD, I DO NOT recommend. I've read it, but to each his/her own.

 

If you really want something with some good insight on how people work, I'd check out

link removed

[vhshowdown]

Reading all this material on how to get an ex back and stuff, I am thinking my EX is still in love with me and she just doesnt know it yet!! LOL!!

Alot of what I am reading on what to do, she is doing!! HAHAHHAAA

 

But it is all good reading really. Helps you learn more about yourself, good and bad, as well as, helps in future relationships.....

 

coda, I think you are on the right track girl. Keep up with what yo are doing, it is working for you!!

[OUTOFTHEBLUE9]

You weren't really to late coda, she didnt call me last night anyways. Still haven't talked to her, or been online yet. So it makes it 3 full days w/o her even hearing from me or seeing me online. She must think something is up, because in the 4 years that she knows me, especially in the past couple years, I have been online almost 24/7. Its totally not like me.

 

I'm thinking about responding to the email tomorrow sometime, hopefully when she isn't online. I really want to talk to her, but I know if I do, I will probably feel worse, and nothing good will come out of the conversation. She will feel better, but I won't.

[keefy1972]

Then don't bother until you think you will feel better blue.

[keefy1972]

How is everyone doing? Anyone got plans to keep them busy throughout the weekend? I have to work so that is pretty much gonna do the trick for me.

[OUTOFTHEBLUE9]

I'm going to my brothers for the weekend, its his birthday tomorrow. Usually kinda boring there, but hopefully it will keep my mind offa things.

 

BTW, I emailed the ex back today, its been 2 days since I received the email. Kept it short and to the point like Code said.

[keefy1972]

Good job Blue, it is hard to do but is what you have to do. You are on the right track.

[codaaurora]

BLUE First I think you deserve a round of applause for being able to hold out as long as you have! We all know how hard it is, how much it hurts, so way to go on a job well done!

 

=D>

 

Just remember Blue, it does get easier with each passing day. One day, you are going to wake up and get ready for work and make it half way there before you realize that you didn't wake up thinking about her or missing her, that you hadn't even thought of her until that moment. And then the day will come when the thought of that doesn't hurt so much. Before you know it, you will find yourself still loving her but it not being so painful or endless as it once was. Trust me, I'm there now. I miss him and love him, but I no longer feel like my world is going to end and I will be forever alone without him. You will too, I promise.

 

KEEFY Hello sweetie! I hope all is well there with you! Sorry I missed last night, I didn't get back from the Laundry mat until 7 or so and then had to put everything away and make dinner and by the time I was done with all that I was done in! HAHA I have such a hugely busy weekend planned you have NO idea! I'm going out to a bar tonight with some friends, then tomorrow I have a movie date and then sunday I'm playing pool with some friends! Phew! Busy little girl! Hope you have a great Weekend too! Miss talking to you!

 

VHS Man, where the heck have you been???? You're holing up somewhere I know it! I hope you are doing ok, I miss talking to you too. Everything here is actually going pretty good! Fill me in on how you're doing. Did you get those books? If so, have you read them?

 

Well everyone, he called me again last night and asked if he could borrow my truck this morning to take his rim/tire in to have it looked at and to try and match it to get the rim replaced. I said sure as long as he had it back to me by 4 and he was like..."why, are you going out?" (like he didn't know, I know he's been checking myspace profile) and I said "Yep" and he said yeah he could do that. So this morning he showed up and was all sweet and funny, we talked on the phone during my break and he was the same way, he met me on my lunch break to switch cars and he was all funny and joking around, he called me after he left from there to joke around with me somemore! HAHA. Then, he asked if I could call around and get info for him about rims from some of the places I told him to call and I said that I couldn't until tomorrow morning and he said something and I said (really sweetly and kind of laughing) "Look K, we're not together anymore, I have a life now, if you need it done now, get your gf to do it for you" and he said something else about don't do anything and I said OK and he hung up. Five minutes later he was calling me back and joking with me again. LOL Too funny!

 

What's you guys take on that little development? LOL

[codaaurora]

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend and just remember, if things get bad and you need a place to vent, do it here!

[codaaurora]

OMG, I'm flirting with a guy from work right now! Got him to say that he will go with us all tonight! Offered to buy my first drink! LOL

 

LIFE IS GOOD!

[OUTOFTHEBLUE9]

I hope everyone had a good weekend. Mine wasn't so great, I couldn't stop thinking about her. Its been a week and a day since we last talked, and she hasn't tried to get ahold of me yet, other than the email I got last wednesday (I replied Friday). I know she has read the email, I tracked it and she read it 4 times on Saturday. I can't help but feel like I am doing the wrong thing. I signed into messenger here at work, so if she comes online, I'll see if she talks to me, or atleast she will know that I am not blocking her. I hope she misses me. She must not be, she hasn't contacted me at all yet. This sucks so bad.