What does my ex even want with me?

[tomjack25]

I hope this is the right forum.

 

So I'm a 20 year old guy who dated this girl who is 18 now back when I was 17 and she was 15. She is autistic (although I am too) and we both have sort of immature minds, like supposedly I have a lot of the cognitive faculties of your average 9 year old, but the way her mind is like that is much more severe than mine, I think her IQ was actually considered to be borderline functioning (or "mental retardation"). When we were in a relationship, she was very loving. I can't even remember the reason we broke up, I think it was because school started back and we were too busy. Anyway, we broke up and we've still been talking since, on and off. She's the one girlfriend I've had who I can't get out of my mind. She confuses me in the way she acts though, sometimes she'll be saying that she dislikes me and doesn't want to talk to me, sometimes she'll be saying I'm cute and wants to date me and all kinds of flirting, sometimes she'll be talking about other guys, sometimes she won't respond at all, I would think she just doesn't like me if it weren't for something that happened a few days ago. See I've been sick for months now and the doctors can't figure out why so I'm having a bunch of tests and stuff done, but I've been declining all the while. I told her about this and that I was scared I would die soon, and she got really upset and said she was going to cry and that she didn't want me to die because she had been hoping we would date again ever since we broke up and wanted to video chat with me, and I'm like, so playing with my emotions, causing me stress and making me sad, was all to get me to date you again? That's not normal, right? And even though she said she wanted to video chat with me 2 days ago she hasn't tried to arrange it yet, even though I've reached out to her about it. I'm not sure she's been online though, her Skype status has been "away" for the past 2 days.

 

I guess what I'm asking is that if it's normal for a girl to be mean to a guy she likes? Has she really just been playing hard-to-get for 2 years now? I don't know what to believe, I could see that maybe she's just playing with me but I could also see that maybe she genuinely likes me and is a little strange about it due to the way her mind is? It honestly does remind me quite a bit of way girls used to be mean to guys they "liked" and made them chase them like in grade school, but I'm really confused. Help?

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like she's too young and confused to have a steady relationship, not "being mean". Were you having sex and dating exclusively?

I'm a 20 year old guy who dated this girl who is 18 now back when I was 17 and she was 15. I think her IQ was actually considered to be borderline functioning (or "mental retardation"). sometimes she'll be saying that she dislikes me and doesn't want to talk to me, sometimes she'll be saying I'm cute and wants to date me

[RainyCoast]

hi op, welcome to ena

 

are either of you regulars at a mental health community, occupational therapy or similar?

 

it is difficult to relate to people when one has cognitive issues, especially where there seem to be developmental delays. i wouldn't take it personally. she probably can't function that well interpersonally.

is a little strange about it due to the way her mind is

i think you are right, that's likely it.

 

if the connection is emotionally too taxing for you, of course it's okay to end it, regardless of whether the other person has cognitive problems or not.

 

you sound perfectly reasonable and smart to me.

[tomjack25]

It sounds like she's too young and confused to have a steady relationship, not "being mean". Were you having sex and dating exclusively?

 

Yeah we were exclusive for about 5-6 months, that's what I consider to be us dating.

 

hi op, welcome to ena

 

are either of you regulars at a mental health community, occupational therapy or similar?

 

it is difficult to relate to people when one has cognitive issues, especially where there seem to be developmental delays. i wouldn't take it personally. she probably can't function that well interpersonally. i think you are right, that's likely it.

 

if the connection is emotionally too taxing for you, of course it's okay to end it, regardless of whether the other person has cognitive problems or not.

 

you sound perfectly reasonable and smart to me.

 

Yeah we both are regulars at mental health communities, and we both get help from therapists and such in real life. And thanks