Minmin Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 My story in brief..... I split up with my boyfriend of 5 years approx 14 months ago. Since then, i dated another man for 9 months however in that time i was still quite close to my ex as we worked together and remained friends. He made it quite hard for my new relationship to survive and eventually i ended it and moved back to my home town which is on the opposite end of the country. My ex expressed his interest in moving over with me and giving things another shot. I have been back 'home' for 5 months now and am still waiting for the ex to move over - he has a business to sell which is still not even on the market and everytime i bring it up he gets frustrated and makes up another excuse. He visits me once a month for 3-7 days. During this time, i have met other men and there is one who i am particularly interested in who keeps asking if i am single yet but i really don't know what to respond to him. How long is long enough for me to wait for my 'ex' to get things sorted? Especially considering this delay in proceedings is one of the reasons that we split up in the first place...... Thank you xx Link to comment
notalady Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 It's already way too long. I'm a firm believer that if you break up, it's for a good reason. Unless that reason has gone away, there's no reason to try again, let alone waiting for them. I think you need to move on stat. Cut off all contact. You can't move on until he's completely out of your life. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 Same reason, still happening. Time to let go of future talk and enjoy what you have. What you have leaves room for others. You owe if to yourself to explore the new guy. Link to comment
zeino Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 You are already interested in another man, so the emotional condition that necessitates waiting is already over it seems. I think you should also tell this to your ex to keep your side clean. OK. He is frustrating you with the speed of selling/not selling his business but he also has a right to know what is happening on your side. Or you two may find each other in an interesting situation. Talk to him openly and see where this goes. (Maybe you officially break up again.) Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 What was the reason you broke up after 5 yrs? Unfortunately it sounds like this ex is just taking up space but not trying to rebuild anything. More importantly his empty promises are preventing you, as before, from moving on. It would be best to go no contact and block him and his passive-aggressive, procrastinating and half-baked nonexistent "plans". Enjoy dating and move forward with this new guy, free an clear of this space-hogging ex..still quite close to my ex as we worked together and remained friends. He made it quite hard for my new relationship to survive and eventually i ended it and moved back to my home town. He visits me once a month for 3-7 days. there is one who i am particularly interested in who keeps asking if i am single yet Link to comment
Minmin Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 Thank you everyone for your input. I am definitely feeling i need to move on, i want to but for some reason i keep holding back.....guilt? I do still have a fond place in my heart for my 'ex' however i don't know how much of a future we will honestly have because of these reasons.... Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Many marriages end over broken promises. Revise your future thinking to include hid empty words and how you deal with that. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Ok , excellent. All you need to do is frame it as a chapter with fond recollections, nothing wrong with that. This way you can move forward free and clear, yet retain a "folder" where the time with him resides. I do still have a fond place in my heart for my 'ex' however i don't know how much of a future we will honestly have because of these reasons.... Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.